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by Quétinbec 03/31/2009, 7:55pm PDT |
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There was an island of trash in the middle of this river. A boy would row a mattress to the island and take the best of its trash. Then, he'd bring it back to some boys on the river bank who'd argue and fight over it. Whenever I saw shit like this, I had such an urge to walk over and say, "Hey boys, can you believe it? This is 10 US dollars. Maybe in a few years time you'll be able to get your hands one of these motherfuckers. As for me, I've got 170 of those badboys back home, so I'm not the kind of guy you want to be fucking with. Now, get the fuck out of my way and maybe there'll be a chocolate bar wrapper in it for you." I never did, though. I'd just turn my nose up at them.
Indians think swimming is dangerous because they can't swim and, to make it more difficult for themselves, they get dressed up like they're going to a job interview when they enter the water. Men wear shirts, dress pants, and a belt. Women wear a full sari. They think western style swimwear is rapeworthy. If you're a western girl swimming on an empty beach, small crowds of men will gather and stare at you. They used to do it to the gypsy when we went swimming and she thought I was a pussy for not chasing them off. They would probably rape you if they got the opportunity. The gender ratio of foreign "drownings" is in India is 7 women for every man. I guess white girls have a hard time swimming in all that skimpy, sexy, revealing, delicious swimwear....*rape*.
Nuke these motherfuckers already!
Bigger than your statue of liberty.
The tail is the fastest moving and least predictable part of an elephant and it's as big and strong as man's arm. If you're passing one on a motor bike and the tail comes bakc at you pendulem style and you think your video game training enables you to time it right, it'll knock you enough to alter your course and fuck you up. That will teach you!
Hitler also makes ceiling fans and door hinges."100% Quality? 100% Hitler!"
No one pimps a ride like an Indian pimps a ride! They live in these trucks and hand them down to their children. They're their little Millenium Falcons.
"Salad (Western Style)"
I was walking with a girl who'd bought some special food to offer a Hindu Idol with green LEDs for eyes at the top of a mountain, when a monkey strolled up to her like he owned the place and grabbed her bag. She tried to pull it from him but he flashed his teeth so she let it go. He didn't even run off, the little cunt! He walked away. She was looking at me to do something, but to save money, I hadn't had any vaccinations coming over so I didn't want go hand to hand with him incase I got bitten. She was fightened to go on because there were more monkeys ahead and they were making noises. I looked around for a decent stick but could only find twigs and bushes, so I took off my jacket and told her if the monkeys attacked us again, I'd whip them in the face. They didn't, but I really regret not kicking that cocky little fuck monkey as he walked away with her shit, but I was also scared his mates would swarm over me like aliens and bite my knuckles as I punched at them.
This was the view from my apartment. Travelling merchants would sing a song about the product they were selling to identify themselves and their product. They sang the same songs every day so they were pretty good at them. I could only understand the vegetable part of the lyrics. Most were short little ditties but there was one guy who sung the saddest song about tomatoes! It was hilarious!
The stairwells weren't lit and were full of dogs so to save yourself going down, you'd lower a bucket with money in it to the merchant, like so...
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India Part 1 by Quétinbec 03/30/2009, 7:54pm PDT 
I read about the blue house phenomenon in a book about tipping points. by Jerry Whorebach 03/31/2009, 2:39am PDT
Samanes-seki, eemee sheemee pek poejee dah NT by Lee Myung-bak 03/31/2009, 3:07am PDT
Klop Jabba poo pah. Goo paknee ata pankpa. 8( NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/31/2009, 3:34am PDT
India Part 2 by Quétinbec 03/31/2009, 7:55pm PDT
Always so good. NT by Zsenitan 03/31/2009, 8:20pm PDT
Haha Salad (Western Style) *one sliced onion* NT by Fussbett 03/31/2009, 9:11pm PDT
With a sprinkling of curry powder as dressing! NT by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 12:54am PDT
Cuba's Western Salad was mixed cubed veggies from the freezer bag + oil. NT by Fussbett 04/01/2009, 2:58am PDT
You can't fuck up a fruit salad, though. What fruit combo doesn't work? NT by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 3:41am PDT
the slicked-back old guy with the iron: tailor, seller of clothes, or..? NT by up with pod people 03/31/2009, 9:51pm PDT
He was mearly an 'ironer'! by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 12:53am PDT
Your photography is also getting much better by I need clarification 04/02/2009, 3:29pm PDT
Re: Your photography is also getting much better by Quétinbec 04/02/2009, 6:41pm PDT
Is making a lot of money an art? Or just a lost art? NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 11:14am PDT
It's a scam. When you sell photos, you steal from people. NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 4:50pm PDT
Their souls? NT by Ansel Adams, mountain soul stealer 04/03/2009, 5:13pm PDT
That's not how I make money. I marry rich people. You should try it (and fail). NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 5:16pm PDT
Hey Jerry, how much would you have to be paid to marry INC's wife? NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 11:38pm PDT
How much just to Skype with her? NT by I need clarification 04/04/2009, 1:06am PDT
Hmmm, wanking to someone as ugly as your wife on Skype... It's possible. by Quétinbec 04/04/2009, 2:09pm PDT
What if she was a guy? You probably came just reading that. NT by I need clarification 04/04/2009, 2:19pm PDT
Now Jerry, you take INC's wife seriously! by Quétinbec 04/04/2009, 2:01pm PDT
You've really found my weak spot! If only I could find yours. :( by I need clarification 04/04/2009, 2:32pm PDT
orion the russian diver NT by gruman 04/04/2009, 3:27pm PDT
I wish I could quit you QB! NT by Smoke Manmuscle, Diver for Hire 04/04/2009, 4:04pm PDT
Hey, don't horn in on my "QB dead by 2015" long bet. NT by Fussbett 04/04/2009, 4:22pm PDT
Sounds like he actually might have - that's the longest INC post in years. NT by Choson 04/04/2009, 4:36pm PDT
The only way to win on Caltrops is to not post. This is why Caltrops is dying. NT by You're part of the problem. 04/04/2009, 10:37pm PDT
So... Caltrops dying is a bad thing? NT by Choson 04/05/2009, 8:43am PDT
If you want Caltrops to die then you're doing everything right. NT by You're part of the solution 04/05/2009, 11:40am PDT
Thank you. by Choson 04/05/2009, 12:14pm PDT
gentlemen, such barbarianism is unseemly NT by this is india 04/04/2009, 9:42pm PDT
He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Quétinbec 04/05/2009, 4:51pm PDT
Speaking of long bets here's one Canada goes bankrupt and collapses in 10 years. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 5:57pm PDT
Why is Canada getting splash damage in this INC/QB war?! Hate the game, not Can NT by Fussbett 04/05/2009, 6:03pm PDT
The destruction of Canada and all of its culture is by far etc. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 6:07pm PDT
that is it. I am unleashing the fleet of beavers. NT by up with pod people 04/05/2009, 7:24pm PDT
LOL hilarious beaver canada joke NT by still laughing 04/05/2009, 7:32pm PDT
fine, they are ninja beavers. you guys fucking love ninjas. NT by up with pod people 04/05/2009, 7:39pm PDT
yes link to dr. ninja webcomic again. we all love ninjas. NT by still laughing 04/05/2009, 8:39pm PDT
Smart enough to eventually make something work by Fussbett 04/05/2009, 6:02pm PDT
Re: Smart enough to eventually make something work by Quétinbec 04/06/2009, 2:56am PDT
Haha "maybe sew or write or do something great" *one sliced onion* NT by Fussbett 04/06/2009, 3:15am PDT
a common misconception by Ray of Light 04/05/2009, 6:57pm PDT
Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/05/2009, 7:22pm PDT
Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 7:46pm PDT
Really? And what did you say yours was again, Creexyls? NT by Charity Man 04/05/2009, 7:49pm PDT
WELL IT'S 476 HEY WAIT A SECOND NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/05/2009, 8:25pm PDT
Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Quétinbec 04/06/2009, 3:01am PDT
Of course not. My first suspect would be Irene, herself. NT by Mischief Maker 04/06/2009, 5:24am PDT
Holy shit look at that pancake face! NT by I need clarification 04/05/2009, 9:42pm PDT
why hellow there sleeping hideo kojima NT by gruman 04/05/2009, 10:09pm PDT
Re: He considers his wife a 'weak spot'! Long bet: divorced at 53. by Entropy Stew 04/05/2009, 10:22pm PDT
India Part 3 by Quétinbec 04/02/2009, 6:28pm PDT
Don't wear a bikini in that restaurant, QB! NT by Mischief Maker 04/02/2009, 6:37pm PDT
India Bonus Material: Nepal by Quétinbec 04/02/2009, 6:39pm PDT
Look at how much cuter Nepalese children are than Indian children. NT by Fussbett 04/02/2009, 6:43pm PDT
They're the best kids in the world. Better even than white kids! by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 12:34am PDT
were those people worried that you were 'stealing their soul' with your camera NT by Mysterio 04/02/2009, 11:40pm PDT
So long as it's using Fujifilm's anti-soul filter, the Neps are OK with it. NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 12:35am PDT
Waldo by Waldo 04/14/2009, 2:41pm PDT
Re: Waldo by bombMexico 04/14/2009, 4:20pm PDT
Divers do not strike me as people easily fooled or misled. Russians neither. NT by Ray of Light 04/02/2009, 11:10pm PDT
It's easy to fool someone who doesn't give a shit, Ray. NT by Quétinbec 04/03/2009, 12:35am PDT
Russians thought Communism was a good idea. NT by N 04/03/2009, 5:38am PDT
Yeah, and look how well capitalism's working out for us right now. by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 8:10am PDT
Capitalism (western style) NT by 1 sliced onion 04/03/2009, 9:41am PDT
it's not being used right now, that's how it's working out NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 04/03/2009, 9:52am PDT
Whoa, there's no more capitalism in the world? I'd love to see that LGF post NT by Fussbett 04/03/2009, 1:53pm PDT
Just search LGF for "Obama." NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/03/2009, 2:30pm PDT
I did this. Nearly every post is about Obama! Couldn't find capitalism ones. NT by Fussbett 04/03/2009, 3:54pm PDT
Try "socialist nightmare." NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/03/2009, 4:23pm PDT
Seven years of tertiary education and that's your reply? Nice, Keith Olbermann NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 9:59am PDT
My Bad: by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 10:17am PDT
NICE ONE RACHEL MADDOW >=( NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 10:20am PDT
How about this? by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 11:29am PDT
The problem is we put too many regulations on our most greedy criminals. NT by What Republicans actually etc 04/03/2009, 11:24am PDT
what liberals actually believe that republicans would actually believe (the left NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 04/03/2009, 11:38am PDT
Just in it for the shirtless dudes. It turns out they were soldiers! Bonus wank! NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 11:19am PDT
Nothing says not gay like hanging around ex-military diver Buff Hardchest NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 11:32am PDT
conundrum: if everybody noticed him, is everybody gay? NT by up with pod people 04/03/2009, 12:18pm PDT
Now taking auditions for the Caltrops Men's Choir NT by Mischief Maker 04/03/2009, 12:19pm PDT
I wasn't going to say anything but then INC spoke up so I thought it was safe NT by Fortinbras 04/03/2009, 1:36pm PDT
okay so some of us are gay COWARDS NT by Ass cancer 04/03/2009, 1:57pm PDT
with ass cancer ;( NT by up with pod people 04/03/2009, 1:58pm PDT
"If ass cancer should enter my ass, let that cancer destroy every closet door." NT by Harvey Milk 04/03/2009, 2:00pm PDT
I only saw the boat and ocean but read into the negative space OH NOOOOO!!! NT by I need clarification 04/03/2009, 5:17pm PDT
Shoe Shit by Quétinbec 04/28/2009, 4:49pm PDT
Shoe? SHOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE NT by Murray from Space Mutiny 04/28/2009, 4:58pm PDT
the computer problems of joe and murry make for gripping cinema NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 04/28/2009, 5:01pm PDT
Those Formica monitors don't get a lot of resolution. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/28/2009, 5:03pm PDT
Arriving by Quétinbec 07/05/2009, 7:32pm PDT
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