Forum Overview :: Earthbound :: Shoe Shit

[quote name="Quétinbec"]Once when I was walking down a street in Delhi, an Indian shot shit on my shoe. I'd read about this scam. Apparently they walk beside you and shoot it through a tube or something. Anyway, because I already knew about it, I thought I'd totally get the drop on this guy and he wouldn't be able to fuck me over. He was like, "Excuse me, sir! Sir! There's shit on your shoe! If you stop, I can clean it off for you. If you stop, sir!". I can't remember if he said shit or what word he used. And I was like, "No thanks, I'll clean it off later." thinking I was all over his scammy bullshit. So he raises his voice as we're walking along, "BUT SIR! SIR! YOU LOOK A FOOL! SIR! YOU LOOK A FOOL WITH THAT SHIT ON YOUR SHOE!" and people are looking at me and I keep walking fast and telling him it's OK but eventually he breaks me with his taunts and I stop. It's alright though, because during the walk he said I could pay him whatever I felt like paying him and I thought, to fuck him over, I'd pay him 10 rupee ($0.30). It is a pretty good trick and I suppose he deserves at least that. Later I find out that's actually a good and normal rate to pay a shoe shiner and I wasn't fucking him over at all. He didn't have any proper shoe cleaning equipment. He had tissues and a handkerchief and he was basically smearing the shit around my shoe rather than taking it off. On top of this, a crowd had gathered and that made me nervous because what were they expecting to see? Another Indian was standing weirdly close behind me to my right and hadn't said anything. What was he looking at? Fortunately though, I'd become quite angry because of the terrible job the Indian was doing on my shoes. I stopped him halfway through his cleaning and I put my shoes back on. When I got to my feet, I offered him 10 rupee and he acted like a total asshole about it. He cursed me and called me a cheat. I told him that HE was the fucking cheat and that he'd put the shit on my shoe and I told him to fuck off. He followed me down the street loudly calling me a cheat and embarrassing me. I approached him like I was going to push him and he backed off and yelled a few last nasty things and left. I headed back to my hotel to clean my shoes. When I was talking about this later to a guy, he said the last and most important part of the scam (which Lonely Planet doesn't mention) is that while you are down on the ground in your socks, the guy behind you steals your wallet and runs in one direction, and the shiner takes your shoes and runs in the other! So you're left on your ass in socks and have to chase motherfuckers through the streets! Most tourists don't. My wallet was safe in tight jeans, and I could totally have caught either one of those assholes even in socks, but if he hadn't done such a shit job cleaning my shoes, maybe they would have tried something and maybe I could have done some cool shit and felt like a man. [/quote]