Forum Overview :: No Stairway to Heaven

Caltrops Theatre Presents: Choson As A Cop by Zsenitan 03/06/2009, 4:52pm PST Choson The Cop: (Waits at traffic intersection in a lowered 2009 Lotus Exige in opalescent grey with glittering umber highlights, neon ground effects, and an extra spoiler (Dad's car.)) Traffic Light: (Is red.) Big fat girl: (Pulls up to red light and comes to complete halt.) Choson The Cop: (to himself, muttering from the depths of his Italian beef sandwich (sweet peppers, extra juice, no gardineria or onions.)) Stupid bitch. Traffic Light: (Turns green.) Big fat girl: (Looking both ways first, she starts to accelerate and move through the completely empty intersection.) Choson The Cop: IT'S GO TIME. (He screams manfully; chunks of beef and sopping bread spatter against his windshield. Slapping an impromptu cop light onto the hood of his car, he blasts after her, tires squealing, engine hitting rev numbers that must be measured in scientific notation to fit on the 6 digit display. He tailgates.) Big fat girl: (Bewildered, she pulls into the nearest parking lot: a 7-11.) Choson The Cop: (Jumps out of car, the long crimson silk streamers dangling from his double hip holsters and single shoulder holster streaming behind him like the blood of a wounded dragon behind a wounded dragon. Although the woman's car window is down, he knocks on her roof and makes a "roll down your window" motion.) Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over. Big fat girl: Actually I cannot fathom. Are you a cop? Choson The Cop: I'M ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE, MISS. Big fat girl: (Chastened, but annoyed.) I'm sorry. But why did you pull me over? Choson The Cop: (his nostrils flare meaningfully as he whips out a ticket book and scribbles with maximum righteous fury.) Pay more attention. (He hands her the ticket, which is covered in ersatz Chinese characters and a picture of a stick man chastening a stick woman.) Big fat girl: (reading the ticket, more bewildered than ever. The ticket charges her with "needing to pay more attention." A $2500 fine is prescribed and there is an appointed mandatory court date in 15 minutes.) Oh my god - is this is a joke or something? Choson The Cop: ARE YOU RESISTING ARREST?! (He shoots her with all three of his guns, then strides back to the car. Lighting a cigarette, which he does not smoke, he shakes his head sadly.) Nobody... nobody... is above the law.

Welp Kered linked to this. :( by Creexuls, a monster >:3 02/19/2009, 12:03am PST     Raise yo keeds raise yo keeds raise yo raise yo goddamn keeds by Entropy Stew 02/21/2009, 11:29pm PST     Re: Welp Kered linked to this. :( by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/05/2009, 7:41pm PST         I hate SNL but these song parodies are amazing. NT by Fullofkittens 03/05/2009, 8:31pm PST             the best thing about SNL is the taped stuff NT by up with pod people 03/05/2009, 8:34pm PST                 best = only good NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/06/2009, 12:26am PST         Three months ago! by Fussbett 03/06/2009, 7:19am PST             Is this a Fussbett Flight of the Conchords Stamp of Approval? :( NT by Choson 03/06/2009, 7:43am PST                 FotC has a stamp of hit and miss from Fussbett. The songs are the worst part. NT by Fussbett 03/06/2009, 9:12am PST                     Except "Part-Time Model" by Fullofkittens 03/06/2009, 9:37am PST                 FotC is grossly inferior to Mighty Boosh. by Zsenitan 03/06/2009, 12:27pm PST                     Mighty Boosh fell apart after Series 1 by Choson 03/06/2009, 12:48pm PST                         Boosh upon falling apart is still better than FotC at its best. NT by Zsenitan 03/06/2009, 12:50pm PST                             No one's disputing that. by Choson 03/06/2009, 12:53pm PST                                 Caltrops Theatre Presents: Choson As A Cop by Zsenitan 03/06/2009, 4:52pm PST                                     What is it with you and italian beef? NT by Entropy Stew 03/06/2009, 4:58pm PST                                         It is an emblem of all that is macho in a sandwich by Zsenitan 03/06/2009, 5:04pm PST                                             Mr. Beef is facing foreclosure!!! by Entropy Stew 03/06/2009, 8:28pm PST                                                 Why it's a Sampo! Careful you fools don't damage it! by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/06/2009, 8:32pm PST                                                 Also: onions?! by Entropy Stew 03/06/2009, 8:42pm PST                                                     The only thing not improved by onions is ice cream. by Zsenitan 03/09/2009, 10:02am PDT                                                         also: the octopus by Entropy Stew 03/10/2009, 11:36pm PDT                                             Since the thread is bumped, I have to point out that Portillo's beef is shit by Entropy Stew 10/30/2015, 9:53pm PDT                                     I'm flattered. by Choson 03/06/2009, 5:28pm PST                                         No, it took longer to format than write. NT by Zsenitan 03/06/2009, 5:30pm PST                                             Anywayz did you guys finally decide which show is a reason to hate Conchords? NT by Fussbett 03/06/2009, 8:12pm PST                                     Shouldn't the fat girl be on a bicycle? NT by I need clarification 03/09/2009, 3:34pm PDT                                         Or me? NT by Feed trough 03/09/2009, 4:04pm PDT                                             Unfunny men to Zseni: Pay More Attention by Zsenitan 03/09/2009, 11:53pm PDT                                                 All these PMAs are makin' me want to smash a bro NT by Fullofkittens 03/10/2009, 7:10am PDT                                                 Re: Unfunny men to Zseni: Pay More Attention by Choson 03/10/2009, 7:35am PDT                                     This is one of my favorite posts on Caltrops NT by WITTGENSTEIN 10/30/2015, 5:40pm PDT         music came back to life for this one song (lolcame?) and then quickly died again NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 03/06/2009, 7:47pm PST