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| I, for one, think this is an AWESOME idea. by Jerry Whorebach 03/27/2008, 1:00pm PDT | ||||
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| I really hope it catches on. I mean, can you imagine the game based on the fictional exploits of Sammy? The man was a professional gunslinger for crying out loud! There was this great scene in the HBO movie The Rat Pack, where Sammy (capably assayed by Don Cheadle) was being cautioned against playing a scheduled gig after the news got out that he was marrying a white girl. This was the sixties of course, so there were protesters outside the venue and copious death threats and the whole nine yards. But Sammy, he goes "nah, don't worry about it baby, I'll just move the trick-shooting up to the front of the act, and 'forget' to take the guns off after." And that's what he did! It was totally BAD ASS and REAL (real enough, anyway).
I can just imagine the third-person shooter: when the KKK take his baby away, Sammy carves a trail of destruction across the American South to get her back. The final boss is the fucking Grand Wizard. Upgrades take the form of shinier glass eyes. Grabbing a Star of David... well, I don't know what the fuck that would do, but it would be awesome just like everything else. I could see buying that game for the soundtrack ALONE. Okay, so maybe White America still isn't ready for a game like that. You know what White America's always fucking ready for? Elvis. If you can't imagine the world's greatest licensed shooter starring Elvis, you're functionally retarded. The man's foremost interests were Kung-Fu, Cadillacs, big-bore handguns and Rock 'n' Roll. Shit, everybody knows Elvis was awarded honorary membership in the DEA by one Richard Motherfucking Nixon - what if, off the books, he was really their number-one assassin? Your missions would come straight from the President himself. You'd take down noted figures in the period's drug trade, like George Jung and Pablo Escobar, and basically stem the flow of cocaine into the United States before it could even gain a foothold. Then the CIA would get tired of cleaning up after your exploits, and convince Tricky Dick to sanction your own "death by natural causes." Would you change history for a drug-free future of goodtime rock 'n' roll, or wind up dead on your own toilet? Player 2 would HAVE to be Priscilla - what red-blooded American boy never dreamed of kicking ass and taking names in high-heels and a beehive? That is some universally appealing shit right there. |
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