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by bombMexico 01/08/2008, 11:53pm PST |
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The period at the end is so i know its my sarcasm folder and don't confuse it with actually interesting stuff. Moving on.
During the hours of research needed to come up with a humiliating M1 Garand slam i found this
Welcome to the M1-Garand Tribute Page wrote:
This is the tale of a weapon, a rifle to be specific, but not just any rifle...a genuine fragment of history. I have a fervent infatuation with history which burns deep within my soul, particularly World War II, European Theater history. At this writing I am 32 years old and my generation, and even that of my parents, has unfortunately forgotten what our grandfathers did for us during that grand endeavor. I believe Hitler's Third Reich was the greatest threat to freedom in the history of mankind.
This rifle is incredible! It was built during a time when they made things to last. This masterpiece was built before my father was born, and will serve my son well in battling future enemies of freedom and democracy if they should so challenge. It's walnut stock beckons you to caress it, and its action is as smooth as if it were made of silk. This isn't just a rifle to lock up in the cabinet and bring out a few times a year to hunt with, this is a genuine treasure that deserves a place on the wall, and a gentle pat of gratitude each night before going to bed.
Crazy: Time for bed kids! Brush your teeth, put on your jammies, pet the gun so it's use to your caress before you're sent into future Soviet space battle with antiques.
kids: ...
Crazy: PET THE GUN
I fondle this weapon so much I had to give it a girls name!
As I stroke it, I feel the dents in the stock and wonder what caused them. Was it concertina wire somewhere on the Siegfried Line, or was it a tank-trap at Omaha Beach? I wonder if an American GI fell dead over it, or if it spilled Nazi blood. What I'd give to know its history!
--Sergeant Stacy Foster
That's certainly a lot of stroking, less a tribute page and more sexy Garnad slash fiction. It puts me at ease to know that this ARMED FEMALE is in a position of authority, probably in another country having the time of her life naming all the guns and touching all the parts. And driving badly.
Not too informative, but crazy! If i had the patience or the understanding this page would be the new wiki entry for M1 Gerand, and also probably Gulf War Syndrome.
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My new favorite blog by Mischief Marketer 05/06/2007, 9:25am PDT 
Yeah, it's not bad. Even James Wolcott likes it. NT by mark 05/06/2007, 12:23pm PDT 
Thanks, I'll read this on the days Robotbuttons doesn't update. NT by Jerry Whorebach 05/11/2007, 5:04am PDT 
I don't even have time to read Caltrops anymore. :( NT by Fussbett 05/11/2007, 3:33pm PDT 
Wait a minute - if you're not reading it, <i>then who is?!?</i> NT by A spooky mystery :O 05/15/2007, 2:41am PDT 
Itallica, the italics troll. O_O NT by Jhoh Cable o_O 05/15/2007, 4:01am PDT 
That's a better comic review than Websnark ever came up with NT by Fortinbras 01/04/2008, 5:06pm PST 
Comics Curmudgeon and Failmath have the same underlying problem. by motherfuckerfoodeater 05/11/2007, 10:48pm PDT 
When I wrote "Failmath" I meant "Robot Buttons" by motherfuckerfoodeater 05/15/2007, 7:02pm PDT 
You don't have to watch the videos to enjoy Robotbuttons! by Jerry Whorebach 05/15/2007, 8:27pm PDT 
Re: You don't have to watch the videos to enjoy Robotbuttons! by Ice Cream Jonsey 05/15/2007, 8:35pm PDT 
*My* new favourite 'blog. by Jerry Whorebach 06/07/2007, 5:36am PDT 
Must read. by Jhoh Cable o_O 06/07/2007, 8:33am PDT 
Well this blog is being deleted. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 01/04/2008, 1:58pm PST 
Oshit a two angry men review of Deathproof. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/23/2007, 3:59pm PDT 
Better do this one too. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 01/04/2008, 1:59pm PST 
Death Proof would have been twice as good were it half as long. by Jerry Whorebach 01/04/2008, 2:32pm PST 
You're an idiot by bombMexico 01/05/2008, 12:05am PST 
You bought a metal tin full of Death Proof... and I'm the idiot? NT by Jerry Whorebach 01/05/2008, 12:43am PST 
Yes, further proof inside but i would just take my word for it by bombMexico 01/05/2008, 1:30am PST 
You really should have bought Planet Terror. by Jerry Whorebach 01/05/2008, 1:55am PST 
Death Proof is probably the worst move I've ever seen by Ice Cream Jonsey 01/05/2008, 2:21am PST 
Kill Bill should've been the hint that -THE QT- can no longer make good movies. NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 01/05/2008, 2:22am PST 
Re: Death Proof is probably the worst move I've ever seen by bombMexico the new fighting eagle 01/08/2008, 8:37am PST 
This is gonna sound like a smartass answer, but by Quentin Tarantino 02/07/2008, 3:30am PST 
This is why people don't like you by bombMexico 01/05/2008, 3:18pm PST 
"[MACHETE] would have to come out when ‘Grindhouse’ comes out on DVD." NT by Bob Rodriguez, March 2007 01/05/2008, 8:51pm PST 
He's moved on to better things NT by like remaking Barbarella 01/06/2008, 5:04am PST 
Those who did enlist fought for two years more than any American. I went there. NT by Fussbett 01/06/2008, 7:18pm PST 
What, on vacation? WHY WOULD YOU GO THERE?! NT by laudablepuss 01/06/2008, 7:37pm PST 
Riiiiiight NT by laudablepuss 01/07/2008, 9:32am PST 
Back door (beauty?) draft (the question mark was emphasized). NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 01/06/2008, 8:40pm PST 
Well, we had to give you a chance to make up for Dieppe somehow by bombMexico 01/06/2008, 8:49pm PST 
Only country to accomplish all D-Day objectives, what? NT by Fussbett 01/06/2008, 10:46pm PST 
You guys were there? Hey, that's nice :) by bombMexico 01/07/2008, 1:09am PST 
Good point. Counter: Pearl Harbor was the worst movie ever made. So you suck? NT by Fussbett 01/07/2008, 2:09am PST 
I'm so ashamed of Canada's so-called "greatest" generation's cowardice. by Jerry Whorebach 01/07/2008, 2:47am PST 
You'll miss out on Dutch people buying you a beer. NT by Fussbett 01/07/2008, 3:24am PST 
Your generation stole our generations name. by bombMexico 01/08/2008, 12:11am PST 
Can't we cockwield over something more relevant? The Cold War's over, lets try t NT by Fortinbras 01/08/2008, 12:49am PST 
At least this argument got out of WW2 and into present day pride. by Fussbett 01/08/2008, 3:08am PST 
There's no female candidate running for the Republican nomination NT by Fortinbras 01/08/2008, 3:51am PST 
Great insider tip. NT by Fussbett 01/08/2008, 9:13am PST 
Your pet lizard is tanking in the polls, NOT MY FAULT NT by Fortinbras 01/08/2008, 2:51pm PST 
Canada is represented in almost every WW2 game. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 01/08/2008, 9:40am PST 
Canada may be represented, but Canadians are suspiciously absent. by Jerry Whorebach 01/08/2008, 9:59am PST 
Canadian blood fued, i'll file this under Thrilling. by bombMexico 01/08/2008, 11:53pm PST 
Re: Canadian blood fued, i'll file this under Thrilling. by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 01/10/2008, 10:37am PST 
Garand moved to the US when he was a kid, because his parents loved him. NT by bombMexico 01/08/2008, 12:34pm PST 
I think he moved to Texas. by Fussbett 01/08/2008, 1:26pm PST 
Exploding with rage over possible black woman president, now TEXAS!!?! rarrahr by bombMexico 01/08/2008, 11:09pm PST 
Your last four wars were fought against Iraq, Afghanistan, Panama and Grenada. by Jerry Whorebach 01/08/2008, 11:58pm PST 
I can see why you have so much time to count our wars, not waging any and all by bombMexico 01/09/2008, 12:13am PST 
I hear there's no female candidate running for the Republican nomination, so... NT by Fussbett 01/09/2008, 3:53am PST 
It would've been Condoleeza Rice. NT by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 01/10/2008, 10:38am PST 
No, but if your pet lizard wins.... by Fortinbras 01/10/2008, 7:12pm PST 
haha pet lizard! fortinbras, you are a card! NT by I need clarification 01/10/2008, 7:21pm PST 
I look forward to your next no text reply in two weeks. Until then! NT by Fortinbras 01/10/2008, 8:34pm PST 
NHL 98, X2: Wolverine's Revenge and Pengo NT by Advantage? Canadian games 01/08/2008, 1:51pm PST 
Gordon Pinsent :( NT by Helpful Monkey 01/07/2008, 2:29am PST 
Planet Terror is movie of the year. NT by Fussbett 01/05/2008, 10:41am PST 
Which yeah? 1850? (burn) NT by laudablepuss 01/06/2008, 7:38pm PST 
Nevermind! I just remembered, she was texting someone in PLANET TERROR. NT by Jerry Whorebach 01/24/2008, 5:05pm PST 
So which of these faithful Comics Curmudgeon readers are you? by Jerry Whorebach 09/22/2007, 7:02pm PDT 
The sexy one! NT by Mischief Maker 09/23/2007, 8:19am PDT 
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