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Re: OMG PITCHFORK! by Bananadine 09/12/2007, 7:17am PDT
Zseni wrote:

People who should know better used to say things like "sure the writing sucks but they pick good music."


And they do! That might even have been me (probably not though)! I read a lot of Pitchfork a few years ago... maybe it is like what people say about those Top 100 Movies of All Time lists that always have the same 100 movies on them plus or minus three--that they are lame and terribly limiting, except when you are new to the medium or genre or whatever and then those uncool sources function as extremely helpful way stations. I have never lost the impression that if Pitchfork gives something an 8 or higher then I could pretty safely buy it knowing nothing more about it... but on the other hand, it's been years since I went looking for music there, and I am still buying music, so I guess I don't need Pitchfork anymore.

Zseni wrote:

Anyway Pitchfork gives me hives. You quoted a review which is like a lot of incompetent touchy-feely reviews, but in order to Pitchfork, it has to genuinely art up its touchy-feeliness.


Well not necessarily--I'm pretty sure I've seen reviews that do what that guy did. There are the ones like you evoke below, that are all dense and heady and sweaty and completely useless, but then there are some where the reviewer sort of tries to knit together a high concept, but instead ends up writing in mostly sensible English. And you can smell them thinking about how that's not good enough, because they are writing for Pitchfork where gods roam, and so they humble themselves with a bit of self-aware, apologetic-yet-still-pretentious phrasing like "What my analogy is hamfistedly reaching for" before once more shooting for their goofy high concept ("is that both I and this game are, to a point, inaccessible").

That said, I think it says at least some small thing about what integrity Pitchfork does have that they not only put this up, but did so without comment or disclaimer. And also I recently stumbled into this guy's columns somehow--he seems to have a certain immunity to the germs.

Zseni wrote:

"Incomparable, incandescent, illuminated darkness; filtered through KOS-MOS and spun out in a haze of Deep Purple. Video Game is an Album is a Video Game. I thought I could say something about this game but my hands are shaking... it's the pills, what a thrill, Built To Spill... 8/10 I sign this... Jill..."


My favorite moment was when the Kid A review started with "I had never even seen a shooting star before." Although that particular writer (Brent DiCrescenzo) came closer to pulling it off than any of the others do, I think... he seems to have been their Erik Wolpaw.
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Pac-Man C.E. - 185,920 on "Championship" by Jerry Whorebach 09/09/2007, 4:12pm PDT NEW
    The day after I post this, Tim Roger does a full review, agrees with me. by Jerry Whorebach 09/10/2007, 5:26pm PDT NEW
        Re: The day after I post this, Tim Roger does a full review, agrees with me. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/10/2007, 6:06pm PDT NEW
        Re: The day after I post this, Tim Roger does a full review, agrees with me. by Bananadine 09/12/2007, 3:38am PDT NEW
            Re: The day after I post this, Tim Roger does a full review, agrees with me. by A burqa durk. 09/12/2007, 3:42am PDT NEW
            OMG PITCHFORK! by Zseni 09/12/2007, 5:00am PDT NEW
                And the difference between you and pitchfork is. NT by wait for it 09/12/2007, 5:32am PDT NEW
                    I max out around five paragraphs. NT by Zseni 09/12/2007, 5:37am PDT NEW
                        The similarity between you and pitchfork is: YOU SUCK. NT by troll 09/12/2007, 6:44am PDT NEW
                Re: OMG PITCHFORK! by Bananadine 09/12/2007, 7:17am PDT NEW
                Re: OMG PITCHFORK! by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/12/2007, 11:49am PDT NEW
                    It's understood on Caltrops that silence = agreement or gross indifference. by Fussbett 09/12/2007, 12:13pm PDT NEW
    How's it holding up Jerry? by bink 11/29/2008, 3:55am PST NEW
        The Hori is less than ideal for Pac-Man, still vastly superior to a pad. by Jerry Whorebach 11/29/2008, 5:03am PST NEW
            I'll do it! by bink 11/29/2008, 5:14am PST NEW
                You're probably thinking of Worm's Geometry Wars score. He's pretty good! NT by Pretty good... at Geometry Wars :( 11/29/2008, 7:10am PST NEW
                    I'm probably pretty good at Geometry Wars 2 also! I just need to buy it. NT by Worm 11/29/2008, 9:23am PST NEW
        238,780 (8406th) NT by Jerry Whorebach 12/10/2008, 9:49am PST NEW
            248,210 (7199th) NT by Jerry Whorebach 12/10/2008, 10:11am PST NEW
                270,390 (4770th) NT by Jerry Whorebach 12/10/2008, 10:45am PST NEW
                    *Stops four ghosts in time as they approach* whoa NT by Jerry Whorebach*flies into the air* 12/10/2008, 10:48am PST NEW
                    Have you seen the 500k run on YouTube? by bink 12/12/2008, 1:58am PST NEW
                        I have now! by Jerry Whorebach 12/12/2008, 6:59am PST NEW
                            288,650 (3347th) NT by Jerry Whorebach 12/12/2008, 3:16pm PST NEW
 
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