 |
||
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| So yeah, cola cult episode. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 08/22/2007, 2:32pm PDT | ||||
 |
 |
|||
| So in this episode Gadget is testing some new vehicle, the RANGERMOBILE, which is a pretty official sounding name for something that gets trashed and forgotten about within a few minutes. Gadget betrays a fatal flaw, hubris. *pushes a giant hill of corpses onto her* No wait.
Anyway they're on this rollerskate with tiny tiny seats and it is going crazy and potentially dangerous and woa, crash into some warehouse basement where they stumble onto THE COLA CULT. I think they just blew their cover introducing themselves as that. So anyway they show the RESCUE RANGERS (comin again to save the muthafuckin day yeah) to the main cult room with the giant TV and the vidya tape with a commercial for Coocoo Cola which its cheesy theme song. It's so cheesy that even Monterey Jack (cheese) doesn't like it, which is supposed to make it official that the song is annoying. Oh yeah, when the rollerskate crashed, Dale made sure to point out how much it sucked, so as to telegraph Gadget's disillusionment way in advance. So anyway they have this cult (most of them mice, I dunno if there is any racial discrimination in this cult) showering in soda fountains and dying their togas in whatever syrup flavor, chanting the "come along, you belong" line of the song like a mantra or whatever, or like ZOMBIES. Perhaps this is a subtle comparison between advertisement and cultism? Yes, yes it is. Wow, this show is really really subversive (cred). Oh yeah and in the video taped commercial that the cult worships, the guy in it drinking the soda drinks a whole fuckin glass AND the ice cubes, which looked particularly dangerous to me. Anyway they witness THE RICHEST MOUSE IN TOWN giving away his amazing wealth to be "fizzed," which is to be put into a can of a 6 pack and lowered into a big bucket of soda. Then the can comes back out and tada, it's empty. Surely nothing suspicious about that. So I guess that means this cult is like scientology? AND IT'S A CULT, LET'S NOT FORGET THAT. Anyway the cult seems to be run by a Splinter ripoff from TMNT, and then his main guard is like a giant Hassan (of HASSAN CHOP) mouse dude named Bubbles, ha ha ha. :( Which made me think of Bubbles from Powerpufft Goils, and then Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys. And then it made me think of nothing. Meanwhile, Gadget's new gyromobile thing, which is a gyroscope lined with suction cups that can travel along walls (how it even moves I don't think they go over), fucks up after the big dude from the cult and they crash and there's some sort of vague danger and the fuckin fly has to save them from falling onto a bunch of glass bottles. Dale makes sure to point out how much the gyroscope thing sucked so as to telegraph Gadget's disillusionment way way in advance. So Gadget gets depressed about all her various inventions throughout the series being borderline death traps or something (except for that airship they had, although it flew by using a very delicate balloon as I remember). She decides to quit and it is like a dramatic moment in the series. Sort of. Well not really, but she is sad, and meanwhile one of the cultists visits the Rescue Rangers afterwards and is in some sort of general distress, because he is going to blow the lid off the whole cult thing (can you guess the mysterious secret?). Gadget falls in with Splinter who invites her to check out the cult. She tries the whole soda shower thing but she's not all that into it. Meanwhile the rest of the mighty morphine power rangers are checking out the cult. They are supposed to be sneaking around the Cola Cult while Gadget gets suckered in like the newb that she IS, but meanwhile Monterey Jack is screaming the entire time OI CROYKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THAT'S GADGET THERE It's like hey, shut up we're trying to sneak around. They all get caught and put in the treasure room, which Chip uses his amazing leadership and deductive powers to determine that THE CULT IS JUST STEALING STUFF. They figure it was the Splinter guy but it was Bubbles, and then M. Night Shamalan comes in and says WATTA TWIST. Then Gadget escapes while the rest are caught there, and she goes back to base to rebuild the gyroscope thing by adding fawkin armor plates to it. The episode gets a little hazy at this point because a series of ridiculous things happen where Gadget kicks everyone's ass (in the safe for kids cartoon way, mostly involving nets and stuff) using INVENTIONS, sort of like V for Vendetta except less silly. So she single handedly saves the day like you know Princess Toadstool would if they ever gave her the chance (wait they did in one episode where she got a starman star). She sort of channels Scarface and Rambo at this point. That's........ that's sort of hot. ~_~ Uh. What else what else what else. Oh yeah she uses a magnet to deflect thrown bottle caps, which are supposed to be like ninja stars to the cultist ninjas. I forgot to mention they have ninjas. Well, they have ninjas. Anyway, since the rangers were trapped in glass bottles with the intent to have them "fizzed" sans the whole trap door trick (which I think means that they were supposed to be drowned), a couple of the deflected caps actually slices the damn top halves of the bottles off freeing Splinter and everyone, and I couldn't help but constantly think WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT REST YOUR HANDS ON THOSE BOTTLE EDGES THEY ARE PROBABLY SHARP AS FUCK. Anyway yeah so Gadget uses soda cans to defeat Bubbles, the last boss. Also she uses some kind of remote control that does everything because it controls the gyroscope vehicle (HOW I HAVE NO CLUE) to knock aside the fizzing bucket that hides the treasure room. The cult folds apparently and Gadget rejoins the rangers (psh as if she wouldn't by the end) and picks up her habit of making mostly dangerous and ineffective inventions while being the object o affection of Dale and Chip, leaving unsatisfied fanfic writers to make Chip and Gadget get married many years later when the internet finally gets invented. |
||||
 |
 |
|||
|
I found a torrent of the entire series of Rescue Rangers. by 08/21/2007, 6:08pm PDT  Re: I found a torrent of the entire series of Rescue Rangers. by 08/21/2007, 6:11pm PDT I am TRYING to watch one episode. :( by 08/22/2007, 1:22pm PDT Re: I am TRYING to watch one episode. :( by 08/22/2007, 1:44pm PDT Did you used to like this show? by 08/22/2007, 2:29pm PDT That's because you're a jagoff. NT by 08/22/2007, 2:38pm PDT Hahahaha NT by 08/22/2007, 2:43pm PDT Re: That's because you're a jagoff. by 08/22/2007, 2:52pm PDT Re: That's because you're a jagoff. by 08/22/2007, 2:56pm PDT PS: thanks laudablepuss. NT by 08/22/2007, 2:39pm PDT So yeah, cola cult episode. by 08/22/2007, 2:32pm PDT That's NT by 08/22/2007, 2:55pm PDT Jhoh gets turned on when Bugs Bunny dresses up as a woman NT by 08/22/2007, 3:21pm PDT Me and Crumb. NT by 08/22/2007, 3:30pm PDT Ok now review the Rescue Rangers go to Hawaii (marshmellows) episode with evil G NT by 08/22/2007, 11:54pm PDT |
