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Final Fantasy 12 by FABIO 08/21/2007, 3:15am PDT
Start to giving up: 10 minutes

A new record. Not even FF8 holds a candle to that.


-CG intro throwing a dozen different names at you. There are two kingdoms: Ramazazamazazadan and Arcadia, yet Damaszcus goes to war with Arcadia and loses, so "Arcadia is about to share the fate of Damaszcus"(????) and Ramazazamenzobajeren has to surrender because King Son of Fag Prince is dead, but he was king of Damaszcus, not Razzledazzledan so they need the king of Razaatouille to come sign a peace treaty. GOT ALL THAT?

-Intro to the most boring combat system EVER. As boring as MMORPG combat, only without the chance to grief anyone. I'd take Final Fantasy 1 over this.

-In-game character faces are creepy. I guess it's a technical improvement over FFX, but it's nudging into uncanny valley territory.

-Another King dies. Which one was he again? Whatever.

-Intro to the vest fag from the previews, brought to life by a horrible voice actor. My first quest is to literally chase rats around a sewer and fight them with my sword.

-More awful voice acting (Vaan is the worst, but it seems the quality all around has gone downhill from FFX).

- My second quest is to fetch some Fed Ex packages in a town.

- Quit


Not sure where people were getting that this story is more mature and intriguing than previous entries. Maybe it kicks in after killing more intriguing sewer rats?
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Final Fantasy 12 by FABIO 08/21/2007, 3:15am PDT NEW
    Keyboard, what happened? Keyboard? KEYBOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 08/21/2007, 6:26am PDT NEW
        If you liked sinking 100 hours into World of Wowcraft, you'll LOVE FF12 NT by FABIO 08/21/2007, 10:37am PDT NEW
            WOW is much longer than just 100 hours, FF12 by comparison is done correctly. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 08/21/2007, 11:02am PDT NEW
        My big problem... by Cubey 08/21/2007, 1:38pm PDT NEW
            Re: My big problem... by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 08/21/2007, 1:59pm PDT NEW
                Re: My big problem... by Lizard_King 08/21/2007, 3:25pm PDT NEW
                    Re: My big problem... by Zseni 08/21/2007, 4:28pm PDT NEW
                        O RLY by Lizard_King 08/21/2007, 5:11pm PDT NEW
                            That's not what the BradyGames commemorative thanks for buying the by Zseni 08/21/2007, 8:59pm PDT NEW
                                The Brady guide is very incomplete and often wrong. by Lizard_King 08/21/2007, 11:09pm PDT NEW
                    I thought the license system determined their strengths. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 08/21/2007, 4:39pm PDT NEW
                        The identical license boards are a cruel joke. by Lizard_King 08/21/2007, 5:15pm PDT NEW
            My only consolation in that regard by Lizard_King 08/21/2007, 3:28pm PDT NEW
            That's my group! by Zseni 08/21/2007, 4:27pm PDT NEW
                Re: That's my group! by Cubey 08/25/2007, 2:06pm PDT NEW
    Holy shit. Bunny Girl's voice actress makes Yuna sound like Shakespeare by FABIO 08/25/2007, 10:28am PDT NEW
        Re: Holy shit. Bunny Girl's voice actress makes Yuna sound like Shakespeare by Zseni 08/25/2007, 9:32pm PDT NEW
            Re: Holy shit. Bunny Girl's voice actress makes Yuna sound like Shakespeare by Mischief Maker 08/26/2007, 12:45am PDT NEW
                FF12 is more like Progress Quest by FABIO 08/26/2007, 4:27am PDT NEW
                    Re: FF12 is more like Progress Quest by Lizard_King 08/26/2007, 8:00am PDT NEW
                        Re: FF12 is more like Progress Quest by Mischief Maker 08/27/2007, 1:24pm PDT NEW
                            The Desolate Room by Lizard_King 11/07/2007, 11:14am PST NEW
                                IGNORE MY SHITTY FREEWARE RECOMMENDATIONS AT YOUR OWN PERIL! NT by Mischief Maker 11/07/2007, 2:14pm PST NEW
                                    I will...not? by Lizard_King 11/07/2007, 6:34pm PST NEW
                                        About the Eggs *slight spoilers* by Mischief Maker 11/07/2007, 7:01pm PST NEW
                                            I'm a little confused about that. by Lizard_King 11/07/2007, 7:28pm PST NEW
                                                10 hours give or take, there is an ending. NT by Mischief Maker 11/07/2007, 10:08pm PST NEW
                                                    Something to look forward to, since COD 4 sucks. by Lizard_King 11/08/2007, 8:29pm PST NEW
                                                        Re: Something to look forward to, since COD 4 sucks. by Ethan Steele 11/09/2007, 5:02pm PST NEW
                                                        Re: Something to look forward to, since COD 4 sucks. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/09/2007, 8:01pm PST NEW
                                                            Re: Something to look forward to, since COD 4 sucks. by Lizard_King 11/10/2007, 8:17am PST NEW
                                                                I found the grenade indicator next to useless by Ethan Steele 11/10/2007, 9:33am PST NEW
                                                                    Forget the grenade indicator for a minute by Lizard_King 11/12/2007, 4:44pm PST NEW
                                                                        I can understand if you were playing on insane. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/12/2007, 8:06pm PST NEW
                                                                            Re: I can understand if you were playing on insane. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/12/2007, 8:18pm PST NEW
                                                                                Re: I can understand if you were playing on insane. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/12/2007, 8:22pm PST NEW
                                                                                    Re: I can understand if you were playing on insane. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/12/2007, 8:23pm PST NEW
                                                                                I want him (her?) to do this and take screenshots and post them here by diet Coke/Grumah forever 11/12/2007, 8:26pm PST NEW
                                                                                    Oh, and the applicable phrase is "throw the controller" NT by Lizard_King 11/13/2007, 9:54am PST NEW
                                                                            Re: I can understand if you were playing on insane. by Lizard_King 11/13/2007, 9:35am PST NEW
                                                                                Re: I can understand if you were playing on insane. by bombMexico 11/18/2007, 1:14pm PST NEW
                                                                                    Nice analogy by Lizard_King 11/27/2007, 8:43am PST NEW
                                                                                Re: I can understand if you were playing on insane. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/18/2007, 1:56pm PST NEW
                                                                                    Re: I can understand if you were playing on insane. by Lizard_King 11/27/2007, 8:48am PST NEW
                                                                                        Re: I can understand if you were playing on insane. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/27/2007, 10:46am PST NEW
                                                                                            Jhoh the investigative journalist part 236 by Lizard_King 11/27/2007, 11:51am PST NEW
                                                                                                I KNOW GUYS ON CRACK THAT MAKE MORE SENSE THAN YOU o_________o NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/27/2007, 3:42pm PST NEW
                                                                                By the way, pearl jam sucks ass. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 11/26/2007, 5:13pm PST NEW
                                                                                    Re: By the way, pearl jam sucks ass. by Lizard_King 11/27/2007, 8:40am PST NEW
                    Most old school FF fans hate 12. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 08/27/2007, 12:27am PDT NEW
                        What are you basing that on? NT by Lizard_King 08/27/2007, 12:11pm PDT NEW
                            Probably 4chan :( NT by Grumah 08/27/2007, 12:52pm PDT NEW
                                So like gaemfagqs. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 08/27/2007, 2:44pm PDT NEW
                            CITATION NEEDED NT by Wikipedia 08/27/2007, 7:15pm PDT NEW
                                I'm just SAYING by Lizard_King 08/28/2007, 12:08am PDT NEW
                                    It wasn't sohpisticated, just better than 12 by FABIO 08/28/2007, 5:13pm PDT NEW
                                        Re: It wasn't sohpisticated, just better than 12 by Cubey 08/28/2007, 5:29pm PDT NEW
        So what did Shakespeare sound like exactly? NT by Quentin Beck 09/03/2007, 3:24pm PDT NEW
            Like Joseph Fiennes unwrapping Gwyneth Paltrow's tits. NT by Mischief Maker 09/03/2007, 3:35pm PDT NEW
    by the way here is the plot by FABIO 08/29/2007, 8:19am PDT NEW
        The gameplay is a big improvement, the plot is just more FF tictacs stuff NT by Grumah 08/29/2007, 8:33am PDT NEW
        Here is the comparatively great plot of FFX by Lizard_King 08/29/2007, 10:08am PDT NEW
            He does look a bit like Meg Ryan used to..I mean, shaddup! by Cubey 08/29/2007, 11:23am PDT NEW
            Re: Here is the comparatively great plot of FFX by FABIO 08/29/2007, 5:41pm PDT NEW
                Okay I don't know where the gushing about FF12's plot is but I haven't seen it. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 08/29/2007, 9:01pm PDT NEW
                    Re: Okay I don't know where the gushing about FF12's plot is but I haven't seen by Lizard_King 08/29/2007, 11:12pm PDT NEW
                    every professional review site, magazine, and most forums. Pick one NT by FABIO 09/02/2007, 10:50am PDT NEW
                        No. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/02/2007, 11:32am PDT NEW
                Re: Here is the comparatively great plot of FFX by Lizard_King 08/29/2007, 11:11pm PDT NEW
        I did like how Ashe's briteesh accent fades in and out through the game. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 08/29/2007, 4:38pm PDT NEW
            It needed more Sean Bean as Basche and more consistent Bjork NT by Cubey 09/02/2007, 8:42am PDT NEW
    a shorter review by brevity 09/02/2007, 5:30am PDT NEW
        Re: a shorter review by Grumah 09/02/2007, 2:56pm PDT NEW
            That's right by Cubey 09/02/2007, 3:22pm PDT NEW
                AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! NT by Mischief Maker 09/02/2007, 7:12pm PDT NEW
                    :( by Cubey 09/03/2007, 10:22am PDT NEW
    Toastyfrog apparently has a site again, and Fabio gets everything wrong (again). by Jhoh Creebul, Witch Toucher O_O 12/27/2007, 1:40pm PST NEW
        He didn't get to the boss fights though! by Worm 12/27/2007, 8:32pm PST NEW
 
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