Forum Overview :: Mac Hall Complaints Department
 
Upon furtur consideration by Entropy Stew 08/03/2003, 8:23am PDT
Motherhead wrote:

Chairman Mao wrote:

I'd get right on that if I was funny.


I had a harebrained concept for a Caltrops comic, if anyone wants to jump on it be my guest. Actually I really dig the idea of 20 different takes on the same theme.

Anyways: The abstraction was Caltrops being a saloon. Why? Because the most brilliant and retarded things are spoken at any given bar. People wander in and out, horribly disgrace themselves, sometimes redeem themselves and it never matters anyway.

Quick Mock up of the exterior (apologies to Fussbett for horking up his logo work.):



I figure it might also be easy to draw everyone from the back of their heads, sitting on stools. The bartenders have to be rendered though. I am thinking SB tends bar/is the twitchy bouncer, Fussbett is like the silent partner that does whatever he wants. BDR has his own booth. ICJ actually stocks the liquor. ES wanders downstairs to clean out the drawers and announce bar policy. Sometimes he hangs, mostly he is in the alley stabbing people in the face.

If there is any interest I'll spill out some more conceptual shit, though honestly I've nothing carved in stone so if anyone wants to pick up the ball and run a few plays, have at it.


I'm more likely sitting alone in a corner bashing my head against the wall, searching for inspiration among the reverberations bouncing inside my skull. Suitably inspired, I temporarily suspend my vigil in order to share my insight. "Charlie Motherfucking Tuna!", I proclaim, and glance accusatorily at a spot on the floor 3 1/2 feet beside me. By the time everyone within earshot turns their head to see what's what, I've already gone back to the cadence.

On rare occasions, I'll venture over behind the bar and have Barb toss me a bottle of tequila. The exchange usually goes something like:

"The usual"

"Your forehead has a big dust smudge surrounding the open wound"

"I know"

"Oh. You know what would fix that?"

The entire bar, simultaneously: "Oh fucking hell..."

"BSD! I haven't needed a reboot for the last 16 years!!! and blahblahblahportsblahcompileblahOMGkernelblah"

5 seconds. My bullshit squelching ear implants need to be recalibrated. A necessity - these diatribes have become all too frequent since Barb achieved his goal of trancending humanity to become a head in a rusty metal box.

"blahblahGreenlandblahblahblah... Hey!"

He's finally noticed I've been making fish faces against the perspex front panel of his box.

"Stop that!"

3...2...The sound of a robotic spray nozzle cutting through the air emanates from the space my head had occupied not two seconds before. Predictable old Barbie. I claim my prize and vault over the bar, narrowly avoiding the electrical bolts arcing out of the sink. My first sip of Cuervo tastes of ozone.

At this point, one of two things usually happens:
1. I start licking the waitress, then blush to an even deeper shade of purple when I realize that it's just Fussbett in a French maid's outfit. I think he does it on purpose
2. I start headbutting anyone who makes light of the fact that I'm imbibing my hooch through a pink curly straw

Bottle-in-hand, I work my way through the crowd over to BDR's corner.

"Bringing your work home?", I inquire. A flayed corpse, barely recognizable as human, adorns the wall above the booth.

"Fuck you," he says, "that's my ex!"

"You dated that? All post-fatal damage..."

"Pre."

"...all fatal damage aside, she must have looked rather wormish in life."

"Yeah, well, turns out she was 90% cunt. Anyways, she had red hair, so it didn't matter." Bill lifts up his glass to take a sip - a triangular red coaster lies under it.

"Good point." Not liking the glint in BDR's eye, I make my way to the restroom. Most of the urinal cakes have a Silent Bob-looking face etched upon them - I choose the one with a frowny. As I begin to zip up my purple tights, the frowny cake looks up at me and says "Hi." Not being Kramer, I manage to finish zipping without gelding myself.

"Sup mrs j. What the hell are you doing in there?"

"Writing. I wrote a dirty limerick on the wall over there, wanna take a look at it?"

"Not really, but I'm drunk, so I'll humor you."

I locate the limerick. It does not rhyme and has no verse. The gist of it concerns a man going into the ruins of a cathedral and beating a drum in a very plain manner, then jumping out of the bell tower and exploding halfway down. Thoroughly dissapointed, I head back and piss a hole straight through the mrs.

Feeling a good 3% better, I walk over to the sink to wash up and stop midway to listen to the muted grunts wafting up from the handicapped stall. BDR must have followed me in.

Later, I run into the saucy Fussbett on a sortie to the bar. He flags me down and forces me to listen to his microcassette recording of the Vagina Dialogues. The fucking faggot. He'd be completely fucking useless if he weren't so useful.

Away, forward, and onto the tequila.

After my second or third bottle of the stuff, I hop on the bar, fall off, and start spouting verse from the sticky floor. Thankfully, everyone's gone home by this point. After my impromtu low-altitude poety slam, I curl up (assuming that I landed in a curled up positon) and fall asleep. Barbie probably laughs in his tin can manner at this point, but I can't hear him.

-/ES/-
PREVIOUS NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
My pink wookie by Roop Dirump 08/01/2003, 2:16am PDT NEW
    Great. by Fussbett 08/01/2003, 2:56am PDT NEW
        Re: Great. by Roop Dirump 08/01/2003, 3:37am PDT NEW
    Very, very funny by I need clarification 08/01/2003, 4:33am PDT NEW
    Lovin' it. by Forensic 08/01/2003, 9:45am PDT NEW
        Never mind, found it. by Forensic 08/01/2003, 9:50am PDT NEW
            Re: Never mind, found it. by Roop Dirump 08/01/2003, 11:55am PDT NEW
    the sunglasses dude raising a finger to make a serious point is great NT by FABIO 08/01/2003, 12:07pm PDT NEW
        Dammit, link me up! NT by McMoo the anti-drug cow 08/01/2003, 1:00pm PDT NEW
            To the other comics, I mean NT by McMoo the anti-drug cow 08/01/2003, 2:44pm PDT NEW
    very very funny, nice work NT by K. Thor Jensen 08/01/2003, 4:02pm PDT NEW
    Re: My pink wookie by Motherhead 08/01/2003, 5:05pm PDT NEW
        Staff comics would be kinda nice.. by Chairman Mao 08/01/2003, 5:18pm PDT NEW
            Re: Staff comics would be kinda nice.. by Motherhead 08/02/2003, 6:59pm PDT NEW
                That's fucking beautiful by Entropy Stew 08/02/2003, 7:43pm PDT NEW
                What's next? Caltrops Noir? NT by Mischief Maker 08/02/2003, 8:08pm PDT NEW
                Where have you been, you faggot? by Bill Dungsroman 08/02/2003, 8:16pm PDT NEW
                Good choice of roles for me by Senor Barborito 08/03/2003, 6:06am PDT NEW
                Upon furtur consideration by Entropy Stew 08/03/2003, 8:23am PDT NEW
                    Re: Upon furtur consideration by Motherhead 08/05/2003, 9:28pm PDT NEW
                        COOLCOOLCOOLCOOLCOOL! -nt- by Entropy Stew 08/06/2003, 8:31am PDT NEW
                            HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA by Quentin Beck 09/21/2006, 5:37am PDT NEW
                Re: Staff comics would be kinda nice.. by Roop Dirump 08/03/2003, 3:42pm PDT NEW
                    Bad news. I'm gonna have to shut this place down before it opens. Or is built. by I need clarification 08/04/2003, 3:52am PDT NEW
                        Um, dumbass by Senor Barborito 08/04/2003, 4:25am PDT NEW
                            It's always the inner monolog with you, isn't it? NT by I need clarification 08/04/2003, 4:45am PDT NEW
                                What, I'm going to start thinking you people matter NOW? NT by Senor Barborito 08/04/2003, 5:08am PDT NEW
                        Re: Bad news. I'm gonna have to shut this place down before it opens. Or is built. by Roop Dirump 08/04/2003, 5:56am PDT NEW
                        Re: Bad news. I'm gonna have to shut this place down before it opens. Or is built. by Motherhead 08/05/2003, 6:00am PDT NEW
                            MORE NOW PLZ by Bill Dungsroman 08/05/2003, 12:58pm PDT NEW
                                AGREEMENT NT by Flurgendorf J. Creexul 08/05/2003, 5:06pm PDT NEW
                                    Actually, yeah, that's pretty good. NT by I need clarification 08/05/2003, 5:45pm PDT NEW
                                        Re: Actually, yeah, that's pretty good. by Motherhead 08/05/2003, 9:45pm PDT NEW
                                            Re: Actually, yeah, that's pretty good. by Mischief Maker 08/06/2003, 5:29pm PDT NEW
                                                Re: Actually, yeah, that's pretty good. by the Eminem Haderach 08/06/2003, 5:57pm PDT NEW
                                                    Re: Actually, yeah, that's pretty good. by Mischief Maker 08/06/2003, 6:44pm PDT NEW
                                            One Thing by Bill Dungsroman 08/11/2003, 2:07pm PDT NEW
                                    YESYESYESYESYES NT by Entropy Stew 08/06/2003, 8:31am PDT NEW
                            Re: Bad news. I'm gonna have to shut this place down before it opens. Or is built. by Roop Dirump 08/05/2003, 6:31pm PDT NEW
                                Re: Bad news. I'm gonna have to shut this place down before it opens. Or is built. by Motherhead 08/05/2003, 9:55pm PDT NEW
                            That's fantastic NT by Lizard_King 08/06/2003, 6:55pm PDT NEW
        Re: My pink wookie by Roop Dirump 08/02/2003, 5:52am PDT NEW
            Re: My pink wookie by Monty Cantsin 08/02/2003, 12:42pm PDT NEW
                Re: My pink wookie by Colonel K 08/02/2003, 1:14pm PDT NEW
                    That's what I should name the comics page? by Roop Dirump 08/02/2003, 3:18pm PDT NEW
                        Call it "Sunday Hangover" NT by Mischief Maker 08/02/2003, 7:25pm PDT NEW
            Re: My pink wookie by Flurgendorf J. Creexul 08/02/2003, 2:52pm PDT NEW
                Re: My pink wookie by Roop Dirump 08/02/2003, 3:27pm PDT NEW
                    Re: My pink wookie by Flurgendorf J. Creexul 08/03/2003, 2:31am PDT NEW
    That was great. Now where the hell are the others? NT by Entropy Stew 08/01/2003, 8:41pm PDT NEW
        By my calculations, they should all be up by monday by Dr. L33t 08/02/2003, 5:29am PDT NEW
            Thank you, Thing by Entropy Stew 08/02/2003, 7:28am PDT NEW
    I like it a lot. by Lizard_King 08/02/2003, 12:31pm PDT NEW
    You don't have to stop there by Bill Dungsroman 08/02/2003, 8:05pm PDT NEW
    Possible sources of inspiration by Alternate789 08/02/2003, 10:14pm PDT NEW
    Re: My pink wookie by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/05/2003, 9:42pm PDT NEW
        Re: My pink wookie by Entropy Stew 08/06/2003, 8:17am PDT NEW
        Re: My pink wookie by Roop Dirump 08/06/2003, 8:52am PDT NEW
            Re: My pink wookie by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/06/2003, 6:38pm PDT NEW
    This link didn't work! by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/21/2006, 1:18pm PDT NEW
        roop.caltrops.com NT by Jhoh Cable o_O 09/21/2006, 6:55pm PDT NEW
            It looks like unknownplayer.com is completely down by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/21/2006, 11:22pm PDT NEW
                By the way is it possible to have a subdomain on clapstro? :( by Jhoh Cable o_O 09/21/2006, 11:28pm PDT NEW
                    Re: By the way is it possible to have a subdomain on clapstro? :( by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/22/2006, 8:42pm PDT NEW
        This must be salvaged and have its own section on the site by Lizard_King 12/13/2011, 5:24am PST NEW
            Re: This must be salvaged and have its own section on the site by Ice Cream Jonsey 12/13/2011, 9:55am PST NEW
                G-I-M-P NT by Mysterio 12/13/2011, 3:51pm PST NEW
                    Throw him to the wolves, why don't you? NT by Entropy Stew 12/13/2011, 4:34pm PST NEW
                    Gimp don't get my dick hard, the Doobies dooooooooo NT by Yacht Rock 12/14/2011, 3:23pm PST NEW
                Re: This must be salvaged and have its own section on the site by Sim Salla Bim 12/13/2011, 7:10pm PST NEW
                    They often ARE full of trojans NT by Entropy Stew 12/14/2011, 3:28pm PST NEW
                This is why ICJ is the best. by Lizard_King 12/14/2011, 2:35pm PST NEW
    Did anyone ever save these? The world cries out for justice. NT by Lizard_King 08/18/2013, 6:59pm PDT NEW
        Re: Did anyone ever save these? The world cries out for justice. by MM 08/18/2013, 7:27pm PDT NEW
            10 years later, Gay Tolerant Greedo is still the best character in comics NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 08/19/2013, 7:25am PDT NEW
            Where's the western MMO one? NT by laudablepuss 08/19/2013, 8:56am PDT NEW
                Re: Where's the western MMO one? by Roop 08/19/2013, 3:14pm PDT NEW
    10 years o_O NT by fabio 08/18/2013, 7:12pm PDT NEW
        Re: 10 years o_O by Roop 08/18/2013, 8:09pm PDT NEW
 
powered by pointy