Senor Barborito wrote:

Zseni wrote:

One of the yaoigirls is, as mentioned in an article, under the impression that she is a lesbian. Her reasoning is that men never talk about anything she likes, but - she spends huge amounts of time thinking about, writing about, and roleplaying as gay men. And I of course will put my thing down as bisexual, but I despise women the instant they start talking. They just look good, and there are to me more good looking women than men. Perhaps the yaoigirl and I are kidding ourselves, but I doubt we're the only ones.

Well that explains your Zelda-munchkin-like taste in men, then.

Among my seriously gay-ass friends there are those who claim they were basically gay from the moment they were sexually interested in anything, but it's impossible for me to sort out the truth of that - not when I know how strange little girls are about sex, and I don't mean strange in a little, easily mollified way but five year olds playing bondage games with each other way. How much of that is my unique experience? I can't say, and I doubt anyone else cares to delve into the matter. I can't speak to the vagaries of little boys at all, but from what I remember there was always the kid who was trying to kiss every girl he could, and who knows why?

No doubt he's the rapist of the litter. One in every four women with regrets afterwards, I hear . . .

If a man finds large jaws and broad shoulders attractive, his options are either men or me, and I'm taken. If a woman likes tits and whining, her options are either women or fatty men, and at least with women you can whine about the same things.

When I look at stereotypical German Men (yes, capital 'M'), with the planar faces, the strong brow & jawlines, the excellent chin so common to the breed, the huge shoulders (OK, that's the women too) and chests - I say to myself, "Holy fuck is he hot." Those of you who've seen Legolas in the Lord of the Rings movie know *EXACTLY* what I'm talking about albeit for a different set of attributes, so shut the fuck up. I'm not sexually stimulated (and therefore not ashamed) at all, it's not the kind of thing that would ever in a million years give me an erection - the very sight of men in porn doesn't just turn me off, it gets me very, very angry. That's MY woman, you fucking asshole, get the fuck away from her. No, her too - they're all MINE, goddamnit. The few times I've seen gay porn (with German Men ensuite) I've busted out laughing.

The point is, I find those German Men(tm) incredibly attractive, but I'm not at all aroused nor repelled - the only reaction that I ever have is one of loyalty. I am much more likely to go through an unbelievable amount of shit for men who look like that than I otherwise would. Race memory telling me that this is my tribe?

Therefore, I believe that what a person 'likes' is an entirely seperate issue from what they find arousing - tits, a flat stomach and no pubes around the vagina arouse me. When you tie 'attraction' to 'arousal' I grow deeply concerned because that doesn't describe what I've got going internally at all. Cue comments from the rest of the board about how I'm all fucked up mentally to begin with.

Can all this possibly be accounted for by a single, neat, Caltrops-ready theory?

Unlikely, because everybody's internal structures relating to sexuality are fundamentally different from what I can tell. We all approach sexuality fundamentally differently. Me? I want to kill off all the men, filter all the women through a hotness filter, and fuck those that pass. I know a lot of men do not (seem to) approach gender issues with this overriding desire in the back of their head just below the conscious level at all times.

Mmmmm actually no. But I do know this much: as long as you can't see me, I can make you want me. Now, especially, there is a separation between physical sexuality and mental sexuality that is not only palpable and unavoidable, but ripe for exploitation. And perhaps that much is enough to start working on the problem of society's reaction to homosexuality, if it can't really touch homosexuality itself.

Personally I don't think I really have all that much business discussing what does and does not make someone homosexual, as I'm not one. What I do know is that I'm capable of being physically attracted to men without being aroused by men - and I think you were conflating the two. Furthermore I think everybody differs not just in tastes but that each person creates an entirely different markup language for sexuality - men and women don't even have compatible XML specifications, and it felt like you were glossing over this.

--SB