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| Top 14 Star Wars Movies by Brody Wilder 06/21/2020, 8:23am PDT | ||||
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| 1. Star Wars / The Empire Strikes Back (TIE)
3. Return of the Jedi 4. The Last Jedi 5. Solo 6. The Force Awakens 7. The Rise of Skywalker 8. The prequels (TIE) 11. Rogue One 12. The Clone Wars 13. The Ewok movies (TIE) Empire is a great movie, but for every great thing in Empire, there's something equally mindblowing in Star Wars that you didn't even consider because it's so foundational. Some people liked Darth Vader killing guards in a hallway in Rogue One, even though that scene was a pale imitation of Doctor Doom doing the same thing in the 2015 Fantastic Four movie. Meanwhile "I find your lack of faith disturbing" still holds up. They had a chance to make another one as good as Return of the Jedi until they blew it by not getting Carrie Fisher back in the gold bikini before she passed away. She was in a porno, she would've done it if they asked. Don't bother looking for the Carrie Fisher porno, it's a scam, she just sits in a lawn chair drinking bottled water while people fuck in front of her. I know hot right? But it's trashier than I make it sound. The JJ Abrams ones are like his Star Trek movies, the first one is bland and the second one is worse. The Last Jedi is like Star Trek Beyond, or what happens when you let someone besides JJ Abrams make one of these (it's the best since the real ones). One of the prequels or Ewok movies is probably better than the other ones. I haven't seen them in decades and I'm not going back to check. The Clone Wars was a theatrical feature made out of what was supposed to be the first few episodes of the CGI cartoon, not to be confused with the DVD release of the same name which was just a compilation of those MTV shorts by the Samurai Jack guy. If you have no idea what I'm talking about that's fine. I actually saw this one recently, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. They managed to give Anakin the personality that George Lucas only obliquely angled around in the prequels (supposed to be a big droid killing hero but he likes machines better than people, one day he starts killing people and turning himself into a machine). If the orange girl was real I would probably masturbate to her even more than I already do. I heard Rosario Dawson was going to play her on Season 2 of the Mandalorian, I have a lot of respect for Rosario Dawson because she is one of the few mainstream actresses to show her vulva intentionally and I hope she brings that to Star Wars. Go ahead and bing . |
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