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by Second-Rate Verhoeven Review 10/04/2018, 8:22pm PDT |
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The Loft is the story of five good-looking heels who share an apartment they use to cheat on their wives. It starts with them finding the body of a murdered woman handcuffed to the bed, and deciding that before they call the police, they'll try and solve the crime themselves, by yelling at each other and touching all the evidence. It goes about as badly as you'd hope. Right off the bat, yes they're stupid assholes, but they're highly-motivated stupid assholes, which was enough to make me like them. It doesn't hurt that they're played by three of my favourite leading men under $500,000: Karl Urban, James Marsden, and Wentworth Miller, plus the fat gay guy from Modern Family and a Belgian guy they must've got because Peter Stormare was too old. It's billed as an erotic thriller, but there's nothing particularly sexy about it (unless you find Rhona Mitra being unreasonably mean for no reason sexy, which I do). It's more like a Nero Wolfe mystery with Seinfeld morality. Critics absolutely hated it - it currently holds a 13% on Rotten Tomatoes - but I had fun. I have a soft spot for films that seem so fundamentally misguided, you can't quite tell if you're laughing with them or at them. This one throws enough audaciously retarded creative decisions at you without ever bogging down, I'd say it's worth checking out. |
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Pan (2015) by Pirate Pirate Movie Review 09/12/2018, 2:16am PDT 
Would you say you panned the movie? NT by TDARCOS 2.0 09/12/2018, 10:39pm PDT
You might say it didn't "capture my interest." by Pirate Police Procedural Review 09/13/2018, 1:51am PDT
Identity also had a stupid twist ending :( by laudablepuss 09/13/2018, 7:59am PDT
My name is by Michael Cane 09/13/2018, 8:14am PDT
My name is actually NT by Michael Caine 09/13/2018, 1:22pm PDT
I just saw 6 Souls. Not bad! by D.I.D. D.V.D. Review 09/14/2018, 1:47am PDT
Re: I just saw 6 Souls. Not bad! by laudablepuss 09/14/2018, 9:37am PDT
Re: I just saw 6 Souls. Not bad! by laudablepuss 09/14/2018, 10:00am PDT
I think we're learning a lot about ourselves from our responses to this movie. by D.I.D. D.V.D. Review 09/14/2018, 1:39pm PDT
?_? NT by laudablepuss 09/14/2018, 3:34pm PDT
That's supposed to be the glare of disapproval by laudablepuss 09/14/2018, 3:37pm PDT
OK, maybe you didn't say it, maybe it was Jesse Ventura. But I bet you agree! by D.I.D. D.V.D. Review 09/14/2018, 5:41pm PDT
The other guy made me want to watch this NT by ~_~ 09/14/2018, 7:02pm PDT
Have you seen Devil's Gate? It might be half a star better. by Barely Made It To DVD Review 09/14/2018, 7:45pm PDT
I did like one part by laudablepuss 09/15/2018, 6:43am PDT
I watched Shimmer Lake tonight. It was okay! Mild spoilers. by Rob v. Nate CorddryVD Review 09/17/2018, 12:44am PDT
Re: I watched Shimmer Lake tonight. It was okay! Mild spoilers. by laudablepuss 09/17/2018, 9:26am PDT
I can see your point, and I didn't DIS-like the movie, however... (SPOILERS) by Rob v. Nate CorddryVD Review 09/17/2018, 4:34pm PDT
Re: I can see your point, and I didn't DIS-like the movie, however... (SPOILERS) by laudablepuss 09/18/2018, 8:10am PDT
Sure, that works. I guess her heart was as cold as her ass was phat. by Pirate Private Memory Review 09/18/2018, 10:00pm PDT
In other news by laudablepuss 09/18/2018, 8:38am PDT
I wanted to do Breakfast at Tiffany's but I wasn't hungry for it NT by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 09/13/2018, 8:44am PDT
House Party: a great film, and a timely reminder why I shouldn't get an undercut by Pirate Party DVD Review 09/20/2018, 9:06pm PDT
Re: House Party: a great film, and a timely reminder why I shouldn't get an unde by Vested Id 09/20/2018, 9:15pm PDT
Kill the Messenger (2014) by Did the CIA Ruin This Movie Review 09/26/2018, 5:57am PDT
The Loft (2014) by Second-Rate Verhoeven Review 10/04/2018, 8:22pm PDT
The Quiet American (2002) by Vietnamese Pirate Movie Review 01/09/2019, 5:07pm PST
The one good scene in Sidney Lumet's terminal Family Business (1989) by Hong Kong Pirate Movie Review 04/13/2019, 6:03am PDT
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