|
by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/02/2016, 11:44am PDT |
|
 |
|
 |
|
This should go into We Love Katamari, but it's "Ashes of the Singularity"-specific, so it can go here.
(An aside. I've noticed that one cheat towards trying to make your game sound edgy or deep is to have the word "of" in there. You can make anything sound more important if it is something OF something else. RTS games seem to be really bad at this. I can't think of a single Blizzard expansion that isn't x of y, for instance.
The latest trend is to use a single word describing something that has happened to somebody: Banished, Slain, Condemned, Gone Home, Fallen: A2P Protocol, The Chosen. I don't think this is as bad, and in fact I think it's because after 40 years of video games, if you don't want to repeat titles, you need to go to a whole different group of words. Just something I noticed. I did it when I started working on Cyberganked in 2012 and it's interesting to me to see how many games use this scheme now. It's a million times better than x of y.)
I would characterize the biggest change in Internet tone, from now to when I first started posting in forums, is that these days people get offended if you adopt the same tone they took with you. It doesn't happen here, that's why this place is so great. It does not even happen on similar forums with literate adults like Q23, Broken Forum or KLOV. But where people are largely anonymous, like Steam and Reddit, holy shit is this the case. I'd like to document an example.
pinback wrote:
It runs like a ??????? dog for me. And while I don't have the highest-end rig of all time, no other recent games run like a ??????? dog.
So is it running like a ??????? dog for everyone, or is it just not playing nicely with my system for some reason?
Ah, that Steam censor. Anyway, pinback is asking -- in Bug Reports -- if he's the only one seeing terrible performance for an RTS game.
(I'm going to use AN RTS GAME like John Oliver uses THE CURRENT YEAR. I think that's one important detail to remember throughout all of this. RTS games have never, ever been at the cutting edge of performance. Ever.)
pinback is asked what kind of machine he is using from a "Community Ambassador." pinback gives him an answer. Here's some of the replies he gets:
Jamtastic Apr 1 @ 12:18pm
You might want to look at the minimum and recommended specs before buying :)
Now, you can take that smiley face as friendly, but as we'll see, it was really condescending. Jamtastic does not reply again to the thread, but he couldn't WAIT to get in there regarding pinback's laptop's specs.
shatteredfriend7 wrote:
ya man hate to break it to ya but your computer gaming now, you need to start learning min/ req specs and how they stack up to your machine. And no other recent games are trying to get the scope that this game has/ can offer. so maybe just focus on 1v1 for now and then once you actually buy/build a decent rig (doesnt have to be high end, like im still running my 960 2gig with an i7 6700k).
TLDR You need to start learning about computers and figure this stuff out before you buy, and save up some money to build a desktop, a fx 4130 and a 660/960 is a good start.
I'm going to ignore the fact that this one posted a TDLR that was half as long as his original statement, and his original statement was a tight and punctuation-free 81 words.
I just read it again, and it's amazing. This is a guy who, according to his badges, has been on Steam for 2 years, giving what he believes is sage, experienced advice to someone who was working full-time as a software engineer at a real company at the age of 17.
Next up is this shitbag, in reference to the laptop specifications:
Ojisan Kukk? wrote:
Thank you sir, I haven't laughed that hard all week.
Now stop doing whatever you're doing to that dog.
I didn't get the bit about the dog, but this is someone coming out of nowhere being a prick. Which is fine, but we'll get to him again in a sec.
pinback counters, and he counters with FACTS.
pinback wrote:
So, you're saying an RTS should run worse than pretty much every other current-generation game. Cool. I mean, I run SC2, Paragon, whatever the hell on Ultra, and in this there's even a half-second delay before I can start drawing a box around units. On "low".
So, laugh if you must, but there's something else going on here.
Ojisan Kukk? wrote:
Sir IRT your laptop, I believe you purchased a very pretty piece of ????. The game obviously does have some problems as mentioned in other threads and reviews, but from the outside looking in, it looks like you are blaming the game for something your machine is just incapable of doing.
That's what I thought was so funny.
Ojisan posted a bunch of reviews of pinback's laptop and then doubles down on the sneering. It's not looking good for our friend pinback!
pinback wrote:
Listen, putz -- may I call you putz? My point is, I can run every other game I have, smooth as glass, on high/ultra. Come on over, I'll show you. I'd like to know why a game featuring a bunch of little tanks running around a virtually featureless environment cannot manage the same, even on low.
Does that sound right?
And now, after getting hammered by these screeching losers for half a day, pinback adopts the same tone. OH NO OH GOD SOUND THE ALARM STEAM FUCCBOIS
Ojisan Kukk? wrote:
Yes Sir, you may call me anything you wish from the safety of your mom's basement. But it won't change anything about the garbage you purchased.
I jump in at this point, after cracking one off in the first guy's ass, I give this to Ojisan, which is think is, again, similar in tone to what he started:
Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:
You know what big chunk of garbage the USA once purchased? It was Guam. Show some respect, otherwise you'd be speaking Japanese and have an Emperor-mandated trade school certificate in draining the octopus jism out of tentacle sexbot dunk tanks.
Ojisan tries the Fox News angle at me:
moron wrote:
Pay attention boys & girls, this is what happens when you learn everything you know, from Fox news. In the real world (not the one in your uneducated, racist imagination) the US did not purchase Guam. And the person you are so horrendously failing to insult is not from Guam, he is an american serviceman stationed there.
But you know, whatever makes you feel good at the next KKK rally.
I reply with this:
ICJ wrote:
The fact that some kid in the army has enough time to get worked into a frothy lather about Steam games AND with that ample free time hasn't bothered to learn the first thing about how computers works is the greatest indictment towards wasteful military spending in the world. Instead of mewling like a newborn wankbaby the next time someone's hard-earned laptop isn't what Uncle Sam gave you for free, earnestly thank the guy for paying taxes so you can avoid conflict and ruggedly move peeled potatoes from one location to another.
I bet you're reading this in camouflage.
Annnnnnnnnnnnnd at that point, "Yarlen" the developer closes the thread, so I guess pinback doesn't get an answer. There were a few other morons clutching pearls because of how we were talking to them in the thread, which I would link to except that you can't using the Steam app and I can't be bothered to go through the two factor authentication on a Saturday to do so in a browser. (It's in Bug Reports for Ashes of the Singularity if you want to see it all.)
Anyway, where I am going with all this is that Steam has the worst community now, worse than the comments of RPS and I thought that would be the indisputed champ forever. James "Buster" "Steam" Douglas, I guess.
the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey! |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|