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by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/08/2013, 10:42am PDT |
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I know the original post was from 2008 and if I'd seen it I'd have commented sooner. It sucked. It blows. It was a piece of garbage worthy of a compost heap, which is where they should have put the negative, then buried the producer and director in the same hole that they dropped the film in, then burned them, then scattered their ashes in space so as not to contaminate the world.
In Bruges, is a film which words cannot begin to describe how utterly worthless this movie is; we need new ones to explore the breadth of amazing, unbelievable depths of inanity this movie exposes. The nadir of insipidness. A film so bad that its level of mediocrity is measured not in degrees, but in orders of magnitude of negative exponential. Worse than Detroit. A plot killer so bad its writers should be indicted for torture-murder. A new and much, much farther expanse of reduced low in cinematic underachievement. I urge you, do not see it!
Uh, Mr. Darcos, the producer of In Bruges wants to use your review for the movie.
I can't understand how, but okay.
Advertisement: In Bruges is a film which words cannot begin to descibe how... this movie is; we need new ones to explore the breadth of amazing, unbelivable depths... this movie exposes... measured not in degrees, but in orders of magnitude... A new, and much, father expanse of ... cinematic ... achievement ... see it!
- Commander Tansin A. Darcos, reviewer, Caltrops.com
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"In Bruges" is funny but barely in theaters by Ray of Light 03/14/2008, 5:40am PDT 
This is finally available on bittorrent, I liked it. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 06/15/2008, 11:04pm PDT
But you HAVE seen Evil Dead 2! I fucking watched it with you, man! NT by THE DEVICE WILL NEVER DIE 06/15/2008, 11:42pm PDT
No it's OFFICIALLY dead. by The Capitol Steps 06/16/2008, 11:09am PDT
Re: No it's OFFICIALLY dead. by Souffle of Pain 06/16/2008, 11:51am PDT
This was pretty good by the room's elephant 04/07/2013, 1:02am PDT
"In Bruges" was neither funny nor workable by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/08/2013, 10:42am PDT
Will you just fucking die and go to god-damned hell! NT by you are unloved 05/08/2013, 11:06am PDT
Oh you can do better than that by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/08/2013, 6:41pm PDT
Were you ever going to explain WHY it sucked in that longwinded review? NT by fabio 05/08/2013, 8:11pm PDT
Okay, I'll explain my review of "In Bruges". Also, I never troll. by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/09/2013, 12:05am PDT
where do you get your knowledge of criminal operations? NT by *brace sides for impact* 05/09/2013, 5:44am PDT
You could try explaining character traits and motivations to hiAAAAAAAAHHHHH NT by *SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERG* 05/09/2013, 9:52am PDT
Wow. NT by Eurotrash 05/09/2013, 10:58am PDT
Are you merely trolling? by Cannibal 05/08/2013, 10:22pm PDT
I said I don't troll and why I didn't like it. Are you incapable of reading? NT by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/09/2013, 6:59am PDT
Are you certain you want to complain about people not reading, Paul? by Last 05/09/2013, 7:52am PDT
NO YOU STINK, YOU DOUBLE DUMBFACE. by Cannibal 05/09/2013, 1:55pm PDT
At least I don't have to eat people to get daily protein, CantHearAtAll NT by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 05/10/2013, 9:50am PDT
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