Forum Overview :: Laurence Fishburne's Dance Dance Revolution
 
Re: bitch are you for real by ndd 09/25/2011, 3:07pm PDT
Mischief Maker wrote:

ndd wrote:

As soon as you are done skewering your fantasy of religious practice, I'll tell you about mine. Let me know when you have a moment.




Okay, I'm done. Let's hear yours!

*Eagerly sits down and clasps hands in anticipation*




What I really wanted was "body of binky" but this works too.

Listen, I just thought it would be kind of alright if I sung and bloviated for a living. That's all I've ever been good at: history, languages, telling people they're right or wrong in ways that really get to them. When I can manage it.

My fantasy is that I do my two years of constituency - that's just the part where I establish myself as a member of the church, btw, it's not school - and the church and my parents and my savings put me through the 3 years of grad school. I would probably concentrate on germanic, slavic, and celtic paganism and the synthetic and reactive interaction of christianity with these faiths, and write my thesis on something like "legitimating the female face of god."

Then I graduate and serve a year or two as interim or contract minister until my fellowship is declared; then I get hired by an unremarkable church organization in a northern state - Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois, South Dakota, that kind of thing. That's the point at which I get paid to do the thing I did on LJ for free: opine, sermonize, counsel, and guide. Except instead of doing it for smug girls in their early 20s I do it for all kinds of people. Each week is a succession of administrata and hand-holding, and Sundays at 9:30 I will take up 20 minutes of an hour-long service talking about interesting and beautiful things and the moral lessons they offer.

For this, I expect to be paid - as money is your great concern - no more than $75,000 a year at the peak of my earning power, and usually more like $55k.

Currently there are something like 70 UU M. Div. graduates for 50 ministerial openings annually. On the other hand, I feel much more confident about being the sharpest person in Divinity grad school than making the top 10% in any law school you might name.

As for moral influence - I'm afraid we won't see eye to eye on this one. I'm convinced I would have a palpable impact on my future flock (why even entertain this notion otherwise?); I'm also confident that I would be inheriting a church someone else built, and growing it from that established platform. But we're talking here: going from 150 regular attendees to 500, not going from 0 to 10000.
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guys I think I might have figured out what I want to do for grad school. by ndd 09/24/2011, 10:59pm PDT NEW
    Who posted all these Granny and Yaoi Porn pictures all over the church?!! NT by Mischief Maker 09/24/2011, 11:16pm PDT NEW
        you're just jealous by ndd 09/24/2011, 11:19pm PDT NEW
            ARE YOU READY FOR THIS POWERRRRR by Gutsby 09/25/2011, 12:11am PDT NEW
                Re: ARE YOU READY FOR THIS POWERRRRR by ndd 09/25/2011, 12:27am PDT NEW
                    Oh by the way read Day of the Oprichnik by Vladimir Sorokin. NT by Gutsby 09/25/2011, 7:12am PDT NEW
                        i'll look for it, but also from the reviews, etc. etc. "russia's drift towards by ndd 09/26/2011, 1:16am PDT NEW
                            Don't worry, that's a tiny part of it and exactly the most obvious thing to say. NT by Gutsby 09/26/2011, 4:48am PDT NEW
                    Delicious. I need that in mp3 form NT by Entropy Stew 09/25/2011, 5:34pm PDT NEW
                        you'll have to strip it off the video :( the album was released on vinyl and it NT by refuses to show up online -ndd 09/26/2011, 1:09am PDT NEW
            Re: you're just jealous by Mischief Maker 09/25/2011, 2:12am PDT NEW
                bitch are you for real by ndd 09/25/2011, 2:57am PDT NEW
                    Re: bitch are you for real by Mischief Maker 09/25/2011, 2:16pm PDT NEW
                        Re: bitch are you for real by ndd 09/25/2011, 3:07pm PDT NEW
                            Everything is dumb, so just do nothing. NT by Worm 09/25/2011, 4:17pm PDT NEW
                                Nihilism will only get you so far NT by Entropy Stew 09/25/2011, 5:50pm PDT NEW
                                    It certainly won't get you a million dollars, Dude (at least Nazism is an ethos) NT by Walter Sobchek 09/26/2011, 8:04pm PDT NEW
                                        If you want to make a million dollars, you should start your own religion. NT by L.Ron Hubbard 09/26/2011, 8:15pm PDT NEW
                            Re: bitch are you for real by Mischief Maker 09/25/2011, 5:15pm PDT NEW
                                Re: bitch are you for real by ndd 09/25/2011, 5:47pm PDT NEW
                                    Re: bitch are you for real by Mischief Maker 09/25/2011, 9:53pm PDT NEW
                                        Re: bitch are you for real by ndd 09/25/2011, 11:59pm PDT NEW
                                            I suggest flashpowder and a secret trapdoor for whenever you get questioned. by Mischief Maker 09/26/2011, 8:45am PDT NEW
                                                this by Fullofkittens 09/26/2011, 9:40am PDT NEW
                                                    Thanks for that enlightening post, Reverend Strawman NT by Mysterio 09/30/2011, 7:40pm PDT NEW
                                                        Who's the patron saint of weak sarcasm? NT by Mischief Maker 09/30/2011, 7:57pm PDT NEW
                                                        It's a conversation I've had with many IRL religious friends by Fullofkittens 10/01/2011, 5:33am PDT NEW
                                                            Sure you did. I give up. Fuck this forum. NT by Mysterio 10/01/2011, 6:30am PDT NEW
                                                but you've spent the whole time by ndd 09/26/2011, 10:26am PDT NEW
                                                    Wait a second, what religious idea ISN'T made up shit? NT by Worm 09/26/2011, 11:14am PDT NEW
                                                    Zseni is correct. MM is putting words in her mouth. NT by Caltrops Referee 09/26/2011, 12:15pm PDT NEW
                                                        don't stop him! it's hilariously revealing. by up with pod people 09/26/2011, 12:18pm PDT NEW
                                                        Her silence equals assent. NT by Mischief Maker 09/26/2011, 3:51pm PDT NEW
                                                            I hate to stop you when you're just getting warmed up with your "rape 'n reason" by ndd 09/26/2011, 8:41pm PDT NEW
                                                                *settles down* by Mischief Maker 09/26/2011, 9:05pm PDT NEW
                                                                    Re: *settles down* by ndd 09/26/2011, 10:37pm PDT NEW
                                                                        Re: *settles down* by Mischief Maker 09/27/2011, 6:28pm PDT NEW
                                                                            Re: *settles down* by ndd 09/27/2011, 7:01pm PDT NEW
                                                                                Re: *settles down* by Mischief Maker 09/27/2011, 9:07pm PDT NEW
                                                                                    Re: *settles down* by ndd 09/27/2011, 9:15pm PDT NEW
                                                                                        *dies of boredom* NT by Mischief Maker 09/27/2011, 11:17pm PDT NEW
                                                    Then what ARE your ideas? NT by Mischief Maker 09/26/2011, 3:46pm PDT NEW
                                                Religious practice is an ancient and profound matter of ordering the world. by Gutsby 09/26/2011, 6:23pm PDT NEW
                                                    Galileo and the Inquisition coexisted so comfortably! NT by Mischief Maker 09/26/2011, 7:09pm PDT NEW
                                                        Rebels challenging the social order killed? By a designated authoritarian force? by Gutsby 09/26/2011, 7:23pm PDT NEW
                                                        Man, where else but Caltrops could I go to listen to a white guy with a silver by spoon in his ass talk shit about re 09/26/2011, 8:15pm PDT NEW
                                                            Don't like it? Go watch the Presidential debates. NT by Mischief Maker 09/27/2011, 10:16pm PDT NEW
                                                    Re: Religious practice is an ancient and profound matter of ordering the world. by laudablepuss 09/27/2011, 3:08pm PDT NEW
                                                        Re: Religious practice is an ancient and profound matter of ordering the world. by laudablepuss 09/27/2011, 3:17pm PDT NEW
                                                            Shto eto takoi? by Gutsby 09/27/2011, 5:03pm PDT NEW
                                                                Religion is not an indispensible part of a balanced life by laudablepuss 09/27/2011, 10:05pm PDT NEW
                                                                    You should be dead. Just think about that in between your spergings NT by Mysterio 09/29/2011, 8:03am PDT NEW
                                                                        Wow I never thought of it that way! by laudablepuss 09/29/2011, 8:23am PDT NEW
                                                                            hahaha i feel bad for loling NT by ndd 09/29/2011, 12:03pm PDT NEW
                                                                            Conclusion: science saved your life by Entropy Stew 09/30/2011, 1:37pm PDT NEW
                                                                    Re: Religion is not an indispensible part of a balanced life by Gutsby 09/30/2011, 7:30am PDT NEW
                                                                    Re: Religion is not an indispensible part of a balanced life by duh 09/30/2011, 10:29am PDT NEW
                                    Re: bitch are you for real by I need clarification 09/25/2011, 10:16pm PDT NEW
                            "Growing it" is one of the worst abuses of language perpetrated by business dink by motherfuckerfoodeater 09/25/2011, 5:17pm PDT NEW
                    Re: bitch are you for real by laudablepuss 09/25/2011, 11:10pm PDT NEW
                        Re: bitch are you for real by ndd 09/26/2011, 12:17am PDT NEW
                now that the other thread is done and you lost by up with pod people 09/30/2011, 10:15am PDT NEW
                    Re: now that the other thread is done and you lost by Mischief Maker 09/30/2011, 7:55pm PDT NEW
    Re: guys I think I might have figured out what I want to do for grad school. by Mysterio 09/25/2011, 12:25am PDT NEW
        Keep us informed of your progress. I'm a stock broker. by This is Chris's Blood 09/25/2011, 1:39am PDT NEW
            how do you piss off a trader? introduce him to chicks as a "stock broker" by august and everything after 09/26/2011, 8:27pm PDT NEW
        I thought you were all sys admins. by Fullofkittens 09/25/2011, 3:34pm PDT NEW
            I said he played American football :/ by Mysterio 09/25/2011, 4:01pm PDT NEW
    THAT SOUNDS FAB by Ray of Light 09/25/2011, 7:47pm PDT NEW
    Unitarianism is a sad religion for people caught in the bear trap of 20/21st cen by Vested Id 09/26/2011, 1:34am PDT NEW
        Re: Unitarianism is a sad religion for people caught in the bear trap of 20/21st by ndd 09/26/2011, 2:45am PDT NEW
            unitarians are just episcopalians who jerk off to alvin toffler NT by august and everything after 09/26/2011, 8:34pm PDT NEW
                a hand job is still a job, august NT by ndd 09/26/2011, 9:01pm PDT NEW
                    unitarians are like vassar girls though. won't even take the glove off. NT by august and everything after 09/26/2011, 9:04pm PDT NEW
                        ew there are girls who take the glove off?! NT by ndd 09/26/2011, 9:08pm PDT NEW
                            really trashy ones. like the ones who didn't even go to boarding school. by august and everything after 09/26/2011, 10:42pm PDT NEW
                                THERE ARE DUDES WHO WILL FINGERBANG ME WHILE I WATCH LEVERAGE?! NT by ndd 09/26/2011, 10:51pm PDT NEW
                                    extra vigorously when the black hacker with the buff arms is onscreen by august and everything after 09/27/2011, 2:49am PDT NEW
                                    I'm in school to become a Catholic deacon. I think you should go for it. by Just Another Mysterious Stranger 09/27/2011, 4:55pm PDT NEW
                                        Re: I'm in school to become a Catholic deacon. I think you should go for it. by Mischief Maker 09/27/2011, 5:03pm PDT NEW
                                            Zing! Now if only there were some funny YouTubes making fun of lawyers, I NT by Oh, wait. 09/28/2011, 6:27am PDT NEW
    go to yale divinity by august and everything after 09/26/2011, 8:28pm PDT NEW
    Re: guys I think I might have figured out what I want to do for grad school. by Hans Clastorp 09/27/2011, 7:02pm PDT NEW
        Re: guys I think I might have figured out what I want to do for grad school. by Mysterio 09/28/2011, 4:03pm PDT NEW
            Re: guys I think I might have figured out what I want to do for grad school. by Mysterio 09/28/2011, 11:30pm PDT NEW
                nice how you skipped the description of a priest's actual job and how shitty it NT by Mysterio 09/30/2011, 7:09pm PDT NEW
                    You're right, my research can stop with that anecdote. Off to fashion school ta. NT by ndd 09/30/2011, 8:08pm PDT NEW
                        Re: Off to fashion school ta. by Mischief Maker 09/30/2011, 8:15pm PDT NEW
                            Re: Off to fashion school ta. by ndd 09/30/2011, 10:32pm PDT NEW
                                I'm sad for you by Mischief Maker 10/01/2011, 12:44am PDT NEW
                                    Your myopia is astonishing. by Gutsby 10/01/2011, 2:19am PDT NEW
                                        A lot of time in church is spent talking about dragon fights. by fucking nobody 10/01/2011, 6:39am PDT NEW
                                        The theme was "wonder," captain angry pants. NT by Mischief Maker 10/01/2011, 8:17am PDT NEW
                                    How can you be sorry for someone you haven't listened to yet?! by ndd 10/01/2011, 9:43am PDT NEW
                                        Perhaps a parable would work better here. by Mischief Maker 10/02/2011, 2:32pm PDT NEW
                                            This was an insulting and unwarranted pile of condescension. by ndd 10/02/2011, 3:51pm PDT NEW
                                                Emperor Liang Wu Di responded pretty much the same way. by Mischief Bodhisattva 10/02/2011, 4:16pm PDT NEW
                                                    Re: Emperor Liang Wu Di responded pretty much the same way. by ndd 10/02/2011, 9:19pm PDT NEW
                                            Student asks master for profound answer. Master says literally anything. NT by SO PROFOUND. 0______0 10/03/2011, 6:33am PDT NEW
                                                The purpose of a Koan is not to be profound. by Mischief Bodhisattva 10/03/2011, 9:43am PDT NEW
                                                    Framing anything in the context of Zen is the best way to lose an argument NT by Entropy Stew 10/03/2011, 11:18am PDT NEW
                                                        I'm the best!!! by Mischief Bodhisattva 10/03/2011, 11:27am PDT NEW
                                                            you're a Cable who doesn't know he's a Cable by Mysterio 10/03/2011, 1:15pm PDT NEW
                                                                I'm sorry I offended you, Anonyfag. by Mischief Shai-hulud 10/03/2011, 2:04pm PDT NEW
                                                                    Re: I'm sorry I offended you, Anonyfag. by Louis C.K. 10/03/2011, 2:34pm PDT NEW
                                                                        Try Andy Kaufman. NT by Mischief Maker 10/04/2011, 11:22pm PDT NEW
                                                                            You're already Andy Kaufman in this thread, what with the wrestling women NT by Entropy Stew 10/04/2011, 11:47pm PDT NEW
                                                                            It's true, I found my audience solely by behaving smugly in deep obscurity by Andy Kaufman 10/05/2011, 4:35am PDT NEW
                                                        particularly when you're vehemently arguing against religion. by up with pod people 10/03/2011, 1:07pm PDT NEW
                                                            NAH. NT by Mischief Shai-hulud 10/03/2011, 1:59pm PDT NEW
                                                            Particularly when you're vehemently arguing, period by Entropy Stew 10/04/2011, 2:25pm PDT NEW
                                                                Ya think? by Mischief Maker 10/04/2011, 8:36pm PDT NEW
                                                        This has been a known problem for 1500 years by Mysterio 10/03/2011, 1:13pm PDT NEW
                                                            *Devilhorns* NT by Mischief Bodhisattva 10/03/2011, 1:59pm PDT NEW
                                    Re: I'm sad for you by N 10/01/2011, 1:03pm PDT NEW
                                        Decrying romance... only to reembrace it in the very next paragraph by Mysterio 10/01/2011, 4:20pm PDT NEW
                                            Ha ha, sneering at science because it's too mainstream, like Disneyland. by Jerry Whorebach 10/01/2011, 5:15pm PDT NEW
                                                Science is cool. They are not. by Mysterio 10/01/2011, 6:03pm PDT NEW
        Re: guys I think I might have figured out what I want to do for grad school. by ndd 09/28/2011, 11:38pm PDT NEW
            Re: guys I think I might have figured out what I want to do for grad school. by Just Another Mysterious Stranger 09/29/2011, 6:44pm PDT NEW
                I've told jokes about owning my own Voltron! NT by YESSSSSSSS! 09/29/2011, 7:05pm PDT NEW
                Re: guys I think I might have figured out what I want to do for grad school. by ndd 09/29/2011, 10:34pm PDT NEW
    True story: my mom used to be the pastor of a church like that. by Fullofkittens 09/29/2011, 7:50pm PDT NEW
        Re: True story: my mom used to be the pastor of a church like that. by ndd 09/29/2011, 10:15pm PDT NEW
    this is soooo stupid by Mysterio 09/29/2011, 7:51pm PDT NEW
        Re: this is soooo stupid by ndd 09/29/2011, 10:00pm PDT NEW
            i want to be a petty tyrant but managing an applebee's would be gauche wat do??? NT by Mysterio 09/30/2011, 2:09pm PDT NEW
                Re: i want to be a petty tyrant but by ndd 09/30/2011, 4:39pm PDT NEW
                what you're too good for appleby's? NT by august and everything after 10/01/2011, 5:20pm PDT NEW
    By the way, Ron Rosenbaum is an idiot. by laudablepuss 10/03/2011, 8:40pm PDT NEW
        I've never heard of this person before but this was a good post by ndd 10/04/2011, 2:17pm PDT NEW
            Sounds good to me NT by laudablepuss 10/05/2011, 9:32am PDT NEW
 
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