Re: you're just jealousby Mischief Maker 09/25/2011, 2:12am PDT
ndd wrote:
Zseni, M. Div.
I am really thinking about becoming a minister.
That makes perfect sense. "You just have to have faith," is the real world face-to-face spoken equivalent of posting a gay porn picture in response to an uncomfortable question you don't have an answer to.
ndd wrote:
Probably.... Unitarian. Because I could never see myself worshipping a male god (sorry guys!) or operating in the sketchtastic Llewellyn zone of the wiccan.
I like how for Zseni The Search for God is akin to picking out the right shoes to go with your outfit. Episcopalian? Too masculine! Wicca? Too sketchy! Zen? Too non-materialistic! Oh, of course, Unitarianism goes with everything!
I do have a statement of faith and what have you. But this is still fairly freaky, not to mention it would take a minimum of 5 years (2 for constituency, 3 for grad school.) It's weird to think there exists a type of grad school where you are supposed to know multiple languages, read a bunch of dry old books about imaginary topics and irrelevant history, and give your stupid opinion about right and wrong (i.e. be zseni), then graduate to a job where you theatrically bore people on the subject weekly. But I've made such a hobby of being the conscience of this or that group; there's a very limited realm of employment for professional consciences.
First she says that she doesn't really believe in this religion bullshit, and the specific church she joins will have less to do with The Truth and more to do with whichever one is most aesthetically pleasing to her.
Then she says she's willing to fake it and lie to an entire church-full of people about the subject most sacred and important to them if it will give Zseni a grad-school level income.
But the amazing thing is she has the Chutzpah to say in the same goddamn paragraph that she's such a great moral compass for other people, she should get paid for it!
I think religion over law because notwithstanding the oversaturation of the field, you can't build anything as a lawyer
I am totally the jealous party in this exchange.
... as a minister, you are the effective local authority, and you do create a community and shape its moral dimensions.
I think there are a few steps missing from your master plan here, kiddo.
Just getting a theology degree alone isn't a golden ticket to money, power, and pussy. Do you have any idea the massive marketing engine that has turned James Dobson into a political powerhouse? The mailing center for "focus on the family" is so huge it has its own zip code.
Even if your goals are a more modest level of success and comfort, you won't be shape-er to your community. Those church ladies shop around until they find a preacher who appeals to them and those church ladies are what puts a roof over your head and food on your plate. Poor Ted Haggard only wanted 2 things out of life: sex with bodybuilders, and meth. Could he live life the life of his dreams AND keep the pews of his mega church filled with church lady butts?
And do you seriously think other preachers in the area you choose to set up shop will let you siphon their flocks without putting up a fight? We've just gone through a month of watching the twin towers collapsing on a constant loop and you think that religion will be less cutthroat than the business world?
Anyway, at this point only my parents and brother have known me for longer than yall. Think I could pull it off?
Okay. Let's say hypothetically that you do pull the big con, and now you have a full house at your unitarian church lapping up every word of this bullshit you don't believe.
Remember when you were doing "Fangirls in the Mist?" You were just going to make fun of a bunch of stupid girls united by their shared love of masturbating to cartoons. I'm guessing that your contact with them never went beyond the text, you certainly never looked them in the eyes. But eventually you couldn't take it anymore and you had one of the most embarrassingly hilarious meltdowns in the history of Caltrops.
How long do you seriously think you could last looking people in the eye as you bilk them for their money? By all means, set up some webcams and record the meltdown for all of us at the 'Trops to stream, but once the dust is cleared you've got an empty church and 5 years of student loans around your neck.
