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| Finished this piece of shit last night by Hans Clastorp 03/15/2011, 11:19am PDT | ||||
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| What a boring lump of fecal matter. I was hoping that after the first act they might introduce some new environments, but no, you're still going to be fighting the same dumb enemies in exactly the same dungeons time and time again.
Nothing in this game makes a goddamn bit of sense. Part of the problem is the total mismatch between actions in the game versus the cutscenes, which begins when you first arrive in Kirkwall at the beginning of the game. You're told the city is "full", and you need to sell yourself into slavery for a year to get admitted. And then when you get into the city there's tumbleweeds blowing through that motherfucker. An angry mob is represented by 10 NPCs standing in a semicircle. Even the slight echo effect on the voices give the impression that you're conversing in a large bare stone room/alley, which is appropriate since you usually are. And during the adorable elf's quest, she makes some comment about never having seen an abomination but hearing that they're horrible -- uhhhh, we've actually slaughtered hundreds of those things, dummy. The only slightly interesting or funny thing in the entire game is the companion quest where you're trying to set up Aveline with one of the guards she has the hots for. It's the only time that anything remotely humorous or human transpires. Everything else is just utterly contrived bullshit. Yes, the writers insert the standard tired jokes about the inherent silliness of the Bioware tropes ("Boy golly everyone seems to want me to help with their little problems!"), which strikes me as not so much endearing self-deprecation but an attempt at papering over laziness and lack of imagination. Which is basically the fundamental problem with the game, lack of imagination. The whole experience reeks of corporate board room meetings and project management and development timelines, with nobody involved having any interest or passion for anything to do with the world/characters/mechanics/creativity, or anything besides collecting a paycheque. Disgusting. Don't waste your time. |
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