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Re: GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES by FABIO 02/22/2010, 9:19am PST
Rafiki wrote:


Defense Grid: The Awakening

I need to not buy these games because I get obsessed with doing each map flawlessly, until I'm sitting there at 3 in the morning on a weeknight furiously hitting the backspace key until I figure out the secret tower combination to win the map with no losses. Spoiler: it's machine gun towers. Why do other towers exist? Use machine gun towers. Easily worth the $2.50 I payed for it, though.


Yeah it was amusing, but not worth more than $5. The biggest things it has going for it are polish and a British robot butler.

Temporal towers are useful, but only to give your machine gun towers more firing time =(. The instant the group shield enemies come in is where all tower thought goes out the window and you're left with just spamming machine guns as an option. Occasionally I had some success with massing meteors in the middle where they could reach most of the map.

Still better than Immortal Defense, but another depressing reminder that we'll never get better than Desktop Tower Defense.


Mass Effect 1



[Note: I've only played this game for 30 minutes]


Flashy, pretty, play a generic Captain Bland space marine through a poorly written plot with annoying fanservice sidekicks.

It's pretty much the Halo of RPGs.



Online Gaming Communities

I guess in the last 2 years or so, everybody decided they needed their own communities for match making and leaderboards and a whole lot of HULGALUHGALUGHLUALHUGHLUALHUGALG. I now have accounts with Steam, Games for Windows Live, Battle.Net, Rockstar, Runic Games, EA, Gamespy, Criterion, and probably several others. And it's only going to get worse. Pretty soon I'll have as many user accounts as there are developers and publishers. Special editions of games will start shipping with a fucking rolodex shaped like a dragon to hold all my damn account info. And when you open it up, it roars!

Can we just pick something, already? I can't find the other post that also mentioned it, but how retarded is it that I have to log into Steam to play a game that makes me log into another service to play their dumb game? Fuck people, I want technology to simplify things.


Game for Windows Live!(!) is the worst anything ever.

Here's how Steam handles invites:

1. Invite notice pops up.
2. Click on invite.

Here's how GAYms FWL!(!!!) handles them:

1. Guess that you have an invite.
2. Hit Home key.
3. Click on GFWL!!!O___O!!! account button.
4. Click on inbox.
5. Click on invite message.
6. Click link to accept.

There's all sorts of horror stories out there about trying to buy DLC for Fallout 3 through it, with most people just gaving up after buying it and downloaded the more user friendly pirate version.


Prototype

This is another game I've only played for 30 minutes. 20 of those were spent with a car in my hands steamrolling pedestrians like some kind of human bowling. It was a pretty good 20 minutes.


It's basically next gen State of Emergency where the crazy mass panic riot fun lasts for an hour or two instead of 2 minutes.

It makes the big mistake a lot of movies and games do. Professional douchebag Robert McKee calls it "false climax" when a story begins with a flash forward to the act 3 climax before cutting short back to act 1. It's a shitty way of kicking off a narrative (basically admitting that your first act sucks and trying to keep people awake by immediately promising it'll get better eventually) and it's doubly shitty for gameplay that's all about a steady progression of power. Carrot on a stick doesn't work when you're forced to regurgitate it first.


Plants vs Zombies

Casual Flash player's intro to tower defense. Another polished but limited entry. Levels are too slow, take way to long, and try to liven it up by forcing you to click everywhere to gather up money instead of just adding it to your total. You'll only ever die on the last level, ranking it a New Zealand on the difficulty scale.

Worth $2.50.
PREVIOUS NEXT REPLY QUOTE
 
GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES by Rafiki 02/21/2010, 8:44pm PST NEW
    Re: GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES by FABIO 02/22/2010, 9:19am PST NEW
        Re: GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES by Arbit 02/22/2010, 11:08am PST NEW
        Oh man, I can bitch more about Mass Effect's writing. Watch how petty I can be by Rafiki 02/23/2010, 5:10pm PST NEW
            Well make sure to avoid the KOTOR games and Dragon Age. by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/24/2010, 5:30am PST NEW
                DON'T SAY MEAN THINGS ABOUT MY FAVORITE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME NT by Creexuls, a badass troll %*(_ 02/24/2010, 7:59am PST NEW
                    Looks like I hurt someone's feelings. 8) NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 02/24/2010, 8:25am PST NEW
                        Looks like I hurt someone's feelings. 8) NT by Creexuls, a badass troll %*(_ 02/24/2010, 9:23am PST NEW
                            Looks like I hurt someone's feelings. 8) NT by grumans chinese theatre 02/24/2010, 2:36pm PST NEW
                        one shot, two kills NT by irony 02/27/2010, 6:13am PST NEW
                            two girls, one cup NT by Jsoh's favorite youtube video 02/27/2010, 12:14pm PST NEW
                                someone else got their feelings hurt? wow what a surprise here's my surprise fac NT by irony 03/04/2010, 7:32am PST NEW
    Batman by Lizard_King 02/22/2010, 6:54pm PST NEW
        You're right about combat in hard mode by Rafiki 03/03/2010, 8:57pm PST NEW
            Rafiki's right, midwest guy and arabian princess? That plot never sells well NT by Walt Disney's corpse counting money 03/04/2010, 7:56am PST NEW
                If Disney so smart, why come he dead? by Rafiki 03/04/2010, 8:42am PST NEW
            The puzzles provided me with a moment of clarity. by Lizard_King 03/09/2010, 5:49pm PST NEW
    Best thread in months. I would pay you money if I could. Thank you. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/04/2010, 10:00pm PST NEW
    LEFT 4 DEAD 2 by Rafiki 03/09/2010, 12:05pm PST NEW
        Re: LEFT 4 DEAD 2 by laudablepuss 03/09/2010, 4:54pm PST NEW
        But... she has a Depeche Mode shirt. NT by Arbit 03/09/2010, 8:26pm PST NEW
    Darksiders and RE5 DLC by Lizard_King 03/09/2010, 6:01pm PST NEW
        Re: Darksiders and RE5 DLC by Bananadine 03/09/2010, 6:58pm PST NEW
            They are not new maps by Lizard_King 03/09/2010, 8:33pm PST NEW
    Re: GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/04/2010, 12:21pm PDT NEW
        Re: GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES GAMES by Rafiki 04/04/2010, 5:16pm PDT NEW
            take that bnai brith award by Sword of Justice 04/04/2010, 6:28pm PDT NEW
 
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