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| Re: I cried over a powerful SMS by Mischief Maker 01/25/2010, 9:43am PST | ||||
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Quétinbec wrote: Perhaps I've been a little hard on you, what with you running around with your STD like a glass pipette with a leaky bulb on legs to whom every woman looks like a beckoning petri dish. So lemme throw out an alternative to these chicks going silent because they find you repulsive. I'll do this by way of telling a story about my lowest point, career-wise. Years ago I'd moved to Berkeley CA with $1,000 in my pocket to become a street canvasser (political fundraiser) mainly to escape Wisconsin winters and to experience this cultural wellspring that students from the coasts always claim the midwest lacks. Long story short, I hated street canvassing, the weather was not nearly as warm as I expected, and the only difference I could find between Berkeley and Madison was that Berkeley had bums on every corner either passed out or panhandling more aggressively than any madison bum, kiosks had altweeklys devoted entirely to porn and adult personals, and the students were much jerkier about their leftist leanings. So with what turned out to be a vacation ending in failure, I returned to Madison, unemployed and hemorrhaging money. Real jobs can be hard to come by and temp agencies like to "soften you up" by making you wait 2 weeks or more before giving you a demeaning job, so I was in a mood to take anything I could grab to keep the money loss to a minimum. Walking down the mall, I came across Spencer's gifts with a big sign saying "Hiring Immediately." The next day I was a retail clerk. Spencers tells you in its employee manual not to think of it as a shop, but as a party! A party that pays minimum wage! As Chris Rock said, getting paid minimum wage is like having your boss say to you, "Hey, if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law." Earning a minimum wage, I put forth minimum effort. But for some reason someone higher up in the food chain saw potential in me and they sent in some guy from another store who had WAAAAY too much enthusiasm to train me in the ways of being a salesman. I previously had 4 summers as a political fundraiser and skill-wise it's almost exactly the same as being a salesman. I knew about upselling and getting people to say yes and standing on the balls of my feet to keep my energy up and all that bullshit. But I was getting paid minimum wage and no commission so guess what? I aint upselling shit. After a week at Spencers I got a real job fundraising for the Democratic party and dropped the Spencers job like a bad habit. I got the same $200 that I would have gotten if I'd applied myself. Prostitution, my future-gigolo friend, is a service based industry. You take special pride in your stories of telling how you talk these prostitutes down to the lowest price. Talking a salesman down to a minimal price for a toaster makes you the winner, because it will toast no matter how much you paid for it. The whores on the other hand, especially the one who is honest about her desire to stick a knife in your junk and pin it to the table like a caterpillar on a specimen plate, may just be giving you minimal fucks for minimal money. They may know some incredible shit that would leave you gasping, but for 20BD you're getting nothing more than an "honest fuck" and, "okey, that's over with, lemme at the ping pong table!" |
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