Forum Overview :: Mass Effect

Click to see what I thought of stupid Mass Effect in this Negative Review by Jerry Whorebach 10/16/2009, 4:59pm PDT Graphics - No loading screens! Well okay there are quite a few loading screens. But most of the time they hide it behind elevator rides. Or slow-opening doors. Or the game will just pause for no reason. Or you will see formless blobs morph into awesome aliens and super-detailed machines in front of your very eyes - like magic! (In case you can't tell I am being sarcastic.) - All the clothes are hideous. I'm not sure why the navy would be wearing camoflauge in outer space but at least they make it blue and only use it in small patches under the armpits. Every shirt has piping going in every direction at once and all the pants look like they have half a set of additional pants stapled to them. Some of the pants are ribbed. Officers wear full-length dress uniforms at all times, which I guess is why you never see one sitting down. Sound - The voice actors speak too slowly and with way too many unnecessary pauses. I wonder if the pauses are the result of whatever loading bottleneck causes people's facial features to appear a half-second after you start a conversation with them (and their skin texture a half-second after that), or just a misguided attempt to make the mundane conversations (which is all of them) seem more dramatic. - Your dune buggy (you get a dune buggy) is always making unpleasant mechanical noises that don't seem to correspond to anything. Gameplay - Every single gameplay mechanic in Mass Effect is either poorly-implemented, ill-conceived, or both. - The combat system includes cover, squad controls, indoor and outdoor environments, drivable vehicles, force powers, customizable weapons and ragdoll physics, yet is still in every measurable way less fun than Wolfenstein 3D. - The dialog system is based on a "Wheel of Morality", which is honestly such a hilarious concept that I feel bad for pointing out 90% of the choices you make have no impact whatsoever on how a conversation plays out. They are, in essence, wasted choices(!!!). - The less said about planetary exploration, intergalactic surverying, inventory management and dune buggy, the better. Music - I actually really liked the music. Brian Eno by way of John Carpenter. Good stuff. Overall - I thought Oblivion was the most boring Game of the Year I would ever play. I was wrong. At least in Oblivion you can go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place. Mass Effect doesn't even have that going for it :(

Click to see what I thought of stupid Mass Effect in this Negative Review by Jerry Whorebach 10/16/2009, 4:59pm PDT     75% of your review is meaningless, the other 25% maybe less meaningless NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/16/2009, 5:57pm PDT         Under the Troll mask hides a fanboy. NT by Mischief Maker 10/16/2009, 7:14pm PDT             extremely HOMOtional people call everyone else trolls NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/16/2009, 8:04pm PDT                 I pull Jsoh out of the fanboy closet and now he's making freudian slips. NT by Mischief Maker 10/16/2009, 8:25pm PDT                     I could never admit that I was a fanboy about games I love by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/16/2009, 9:48pm PDT                         Cue faggy spazzing out ... oh wait it already happened NT by Worm 10/17/2009, 6:41am PDT                             Looks like wrom just came in from downtown. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/17/2009, 9:36am PDT                             wrom is reading off his own cues to us, that's so interesting NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/17/2009, 7:13pm PDT                                 fag NT by Worm 10/18/2009, 10:23am PDT                         Watch your tone. NT by Dick Clownshoes 01/07/2020, 1:27pm PST     If Jerry can't lose his virginity in Mass Effect, what's left? by FABIO 10/16/2009, 6:52pm PDT         I thought I came pretty close with Dr. Chakwas by Jerry Whorebach 10/16/2009, 8:07pm PDT             I quit the FBI to get back to the medicine field NT by Dr. Chakwas 10/16/2009, 9:54pm PDT             Actually, Jerry, I think you did just lose your virginity! by Mr. Helper 10/17/2009, 7:55am PDT     This game is rated NF for NOT FOR FAGGOTS NT by You missed that on the box :( 10/16/2009, 8:55pm PDT     it's still better than MMOs. *plays MMOs* NT by up with pod people 10/17/2009, 9:23am PDT         Hey pod people I quit Aion =( It's not Aion, it's me by Fortinbras 10/17/2009, 9:38am PDT             you quitter you (still level 15, puttering intermittently) NT by up with pod people 10/17/2009, 7:01pm PDT                 I once played lineage 2 for about 15 million hours in perceptual time by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/17/2009, 7:12pm PDT     Caltrops' worst posters badmouthing the best. ICJ front page this great review NT by Laslo 10/18/2009, 1:40pm PDT         It's got something for everyone. by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/18/2009, 2:06pm PDT         jw does a lot of pointless badmouthing, yes by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/18/2009, 11:01pm PDT     Re: Click to see what I thought of stupid Mass Effect in this Negative Review by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/18/2009, 1:49pm PDT         I've said all I care to about Mass Effect, threatening me with Braid by isn't going to change that. 10/18/2009, 4:48pm PDT             I can love things without caring necessarily whether other people love them. by up with pod people 10/18/2009, 7:13pm PDT             Re: I've said all I care to about Mass Effect, threatening me with Braid by FABIO 10/18/2009, 8:38pm PDT                 I went ahead and looked him up on the Star Wars wikipedia. by Jerry Whorebach 10/19/2009, 1:48am PDT             pod people's review is better. NT by Jhoh Creexul (custom software) 10/19/2009, 7:11am PDT                 it was less a review and more a deep examination of my zombie problem. ;( by up with pod people 10/19/2009, 8:56am PDT