Caltrops - Mass Effect





	[quote name="Jerry Whorebach"]<b>Graphics</b> - No loading screens! Well okay there are quite a few loading screens. But most of the time they hide it behind elevator rides. Or slow-opening doors. Or the game will just pause for no reason. Or you will see formless blobs morph into awesome aliens and super-detailed machines in front of your very eyes - like magic! (In case you can't tell I am being sarcastic.) - All the clothes are hideous. I'm not sure why the navy would be wearing camoflauge in outer space but at least they make it blue and only use it in small patches under the armpits. Every shirt has piping going in every direction at once and all the pants look like they have half a set of additional pants stapled to them. Some of the pants are ribbed. Officers wear full-length dress uniforms at all times, which I guess is why you never see one sitting down. <b>Sound</b> - The voice actors speak too slowly and with way too many unnecessary pauses. I wonder if the pauses are the result of whatever loading bottleneck causes people's facial features to appear a half-second after you start a conversation with them (and their skin texture a half-second after that), or just a misguided attempt to make the mundane conversations (which is all of them) seem more dramatic. - Your dune buggy (you get a dune buggy) is always making unpleasant mechanical noises that don't seem to correspond to anything. <b>Gameplay</b> - Every single gameplay mechanic in Mass Effect is either poorly-implemented, ill-conceived, or both. - The combat system includes cover, squad controls, indoor and outdoor environments, drivable vehicles, force powers, customizable weapons and ragdoll physics, yet is still in every measurable way less fun than Wolfenstein 3D. - The dialog system is based on a "Wheel of Morality", which is honestly such a hilarious concept that I feel bad for pointing out 90% of the choices you make have no impact whatsoever on how a conversation plays out. They are, in essence, <i>wasted choices(!!!).</i> - The less said about planetary exploration, intergalactic surverying, inventory management and dune buggy, the better. <b>Music</b> - I actually really liked the music. Brian Eno by way of John Carpenter. Good stuff. <b>Overall</b> - I thought Oblivion was the most boring Game of the Year I would ever play. <b>I was wrong.</b> At least in Oblivion you can go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place. Mass Effect doesn't even have that going for it :([/quote]