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| She pisses into a bottle because her grandmother says it's good for her plants by Quétinbec 05/25/2009, 3:26am PDT | ||||
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| She shits before a shower so she can clean her ass with water and not waste money on toilet paper.
I discovered she pisses in her drinking bottle after I tried to throw it out in town and she said, "NO! I NEED THAT FOR MY PLANTS!". I told her she could use a cup or anything at home to water her plants, so she explained that she takes it into the shower and pisses in it to pour on her Aloe Vera plants. She's a hoarder. She used to visit garage sales with her Mum on Sunday mornings after Church. She seemed to think that if she got a good deal on something then regardless of how ridiculous it looked, she had a right to wear it. You know how even sensible Asian-born women dress like children with Mickey Mouse t-shirts worn unironically and fluorescent headbands, socks with teddys on them etc...? She had this thick brown fleece hoodie with round pink centered bear ears on the top of the hood. Basically cosplay. She wouldn't let me cut them off, but she'd let me tuck them under the hood so they weren't visible because otherwise I wouldn't leave the house with her. Anyway, this was pretty early in our relationship, like four years ago, when I wasn't really sure what the deal with her was. She calls me and tells me excitedly she got these practically brand new shoes at a garage sale for $15 but THEY HAVE WHEELS ON THEM and she wants to know if I think she should cut them off. And I was like, "HOW MANY FUCKING WHEELS?!" thinking I was dating the worst girl in the world, but it turned out she got those kids shoes with the wheel in the heel. They weren't freakish, just ugly, but the wheels were a bitch to cut out so I said, "Fuck it, forget about this garbage. Just wear your normal shoes and let's go." And she's like, "I PAID $15 FOR THESE! I'M WEARING THEM!" so she put them on and promised she could walk without sliding everywhere. We were walking to the university and for most of the walk she was fine, but when she went even slightly downhill, she started sliding around because she couldn't keep her weight off the heel. And I have this thing where at the best of times I don't like holding the hand of Asian girls when I walk with them (or any girls really, but especially Asian girls). I had to hold her hand for 10 minutes while she's walking like she's pissed herself to keep from falling over AND she had on her dumb hoodie so there's the constant fear one of the ears is going to pop out. Fussbett wrote:[11:48:26 a.m.] QB: or complimentary immune systems She laughed in my face the one time I tried to explain evolution to her. MONKEYS?!??!? Now I just call her a stupid bitch which leads to arguments where she's like... "You're only angry because you know you're wrong!" "No, you're a fucking retard. Just shut the fuck up please." "See! Wrong! So STUPID! Monkeys! Hahahahahha! Stupid boy! MONKEY BOY!" "FUCK YOU!" "SEE!!!" |
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