Forum Overview :: Icewind Dale :: OYE!

[quote name="Creexul's Undocumented Post Double"]Estimado Senorita Zseni, Senor Cable cannot post on the internet for the next few days. In order to deal with downtime and in addition to the help of his hermano Jose, he has hired me to post for him and check his email. I checked his email but he only gets 2 emails a day and they are always from himself, or his brother asking questions from the other side of the apartment. To get back to the heart of the matter, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself to you, and to some of the other new amigos I hope to make on this wonderful website, caltrops dot com. My name is Enrico Rodriguez. I am a forty two year old undocumented Mexican day laborer. I cut grass and then I put the grass into bags, and then I carry the bags of grass into trucks. I learned to read and write flawless English by watching, how do you say, gay porn where they occasionally talked English while putting their penises into each others mouths and behinds. Every day I post here, Senor Cable pays me 13 dollars. He wants me to call him Don Juan but I refuse to. Now that I have introduced myself, I would like to address your comment. You have posted in a French, which is a language I do not understand. It is, how do you say: long, stiff and hard for me to learn new languages since in this apartment because of the video game shooting sounds and my own limited ability to use the computers from inside the dog cage the hermanos Cable keep me inside. I've been told this is for my own protection, but at lunchtime I heard them laughing at me when they shoved the keyboard I am to post with into my cage. I cannot complain though, because they did dab the keyboard generously with mayonnaise. I pray to Our Lady of Guadalupe that it is only mayonnaise. If you don't get that, I am trying to imply that they may have done something disgusting on the keyboard like perhaps masturbate onto it so that semen mixed in with the mayonnaise and I eat the semen inadvertently while trying to lick the mayonnaise off of these keys. Back to the topic, I do not speak French and my elbow is starting to hurt and I cannot shift around inside the cage so I will offer these closing thoughts. I would love to learn more about what you said in French. I can only guess it was a joke about how you eat a lot of donuts, or can't see your feet, or are always out of breath, or are going to get a heart attack and die silently screaming to an uncaring world. Please let me know, I love your particular wry brand of self effacing humor. Also, I am very lonely inside this cage and would like to hear from anyone. I'm scared, I'm tired, I am hungry, I am incredibly gay, I am being kept in a cage by threatening dwarves, I just want to see my family again one more time please god don't let me die like this. Yours, Enrico[/quote]