Forum Overview :: Motherfucking News :: I would give you money, but first I must temporalize.

[quote name="Zseni"]<a href="http://education.guardian.co.uk/higher/postgraduate/story/0,,2043239,00.html">I went to school with guys like this.</a> They can't imagine NOT being in school, so everything is an intellectual exercise for them. This is a great story to go hand in hand with <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/25/opinion/25gilbert.html?_r=1&oref=login">this bit about how, you know, not everyone who asks you for money <i>really needs it</i></a>. I resent the intense dishonesty of these columnists - they want to not give money to poor people, but they want their motivations to be pure. So they invent crazy backstories of fraud, waste, and greed, then impute them onto <i>live human beings</i> in their vicinity. Fanfic gone wild! It's very simple, guys. You want to not give money to poor people because mojitos and iPods are expensive. You are hoarding your wealth for your own personal use. OR better yet you would like to do good but it's so hard to find original ways to do it. I mean everyone gives to Amnesty International or Doctors Without Borders - what makes you stand out in the department cocktail party is not a list of receipts, but a <i>good story.</i> And you are too stupid to just make one up. HERE ARE THE ONLY THREE REASONS NOT TO GIVE TO BIG FAT FUCKIN CHARITIES ALL OVER THE PLACE: 1. You like money and stuff and you want to have money and stuff. For yourself. Actually that's the only reason. Why is that reason so wrong? I mean we live in a world where old-wood forests are being consumed by Frontgate and West End quarterly catalogs, plus the Honeybaked Ham Christmas supplement, and nobody wants to fess up that no, they are not giving to charity, because they like having money and stuff for themselves. So we get these painful dances, as universal in the upper middle class today as the minuet in the court of Charles II - people with quite a lot of money and stuff, ashamed to be caught enjoying it, and <i>still not giving any money to charities.</i> Because, you know, some of those people can't be trusted![/quote]