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Siren: Curst was right
[quote name="FABIO"]Can't find Curst's review of this game, so I'll just second his diagnosis here. <b>HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS GAME SUCKS!!! </b> Voice Acting- Fucking unacceptable for anything made after the "interactive movie" era of video games. Think worse than Resident Evil only without the funny bad "master of unlocking" dialogue. It's like one of those old Asian movies where they redub the lines to make it funny (one character in the beginning runs around in circles like a fool saying "ohmygosh oh wha? oh oh.....oh!" Going for that Prince of Space feel doesn't work when you're trying to scare someone. Sight Jacking- Curst was wrong about this one; IT'S EVEN WORSE. I got the impression that you could "scroll" through the sight of every monster in a level to scout the place out. But no, you hold down the L2 button and wiggle the stick around to sightjack only the closest monster in that direction. So you can't just sightjack for 20 minutes at the beginning of a level (well you'll still have to do that too), you have to stop and do it every fifty feet to make sure you aren't walking right into another monster you couldn't sense before (and leave yourself totally open to attack while you do so). But yeah he was right about how if you don't sit at the start of every level and sightjack for many many minutes, you WILL die. The very start of the level right after the tutorial, taking five steps foward means getting shot by a zombie sniper(?) and dying. Enemies- The zombies are part scary part stupid. They're creepy when they're grunting and snarling, but sometimes they just look like a whimpering retard with spasming lips (the cop you run into at the beginning). They're slow, but so is your character. This was the case for Fatal Frame but in Siren running away from zombies is not frantic. It looks like a chase scene between two gimps. Characters suck- The protagonist could be straight out of any "total clutz/ wuss teenage male thrust into role of hero not because he has any positive attributes but because he has an innate power that he didn't have to work for or put any effort towards so that makes him special and he inexplicably gets surrounded by adoring females" story the Japs have to offer. He spends most of his time whimpering. The entire second level you play him in you have to listen to him gasp for breath in between whimpers. He's also butt ugly and looks like a pig. Looking at your own character while they're sightjacking is painful because you look like a total seizuring spaz. For some reason all the obviously Japanese character have HEAVY English accents. Annoying Women- Almost every single woman character in the game is an inept, whining liability whose ass you have to drag and protect across enemy infested levels. One of them is BLIND. The only one that isn't inept is the "Yuna" character that holds the hand of our inept anime "hero" and guides you through the ordeal because anime fans in real life are just as much whimpering dolts as the heroes they worship. Fun fact: The annoying women are useless and annoying, but they also provided for a huge laugh. One level you start off with one following you. You character (a big strong man) tells her to wait there and hide. I survery the scene ahead of me, then sightjack her (to "store" her vision to a hotkey). The first thing I see from her point of view is a giant closeup of my crotch. I unjack and see that she took to kneeling (crouching makes you harder to spot) down in front of me. I sightjack back and now she's looking up from waist level and I see my character doing the typical sightjack pose (bobbing back and forth, eyes shut, breathing heavily). That's right, girl. Holy shit the fucking menus. Curst already went over this, but I think the stupidity has to be outlined again. How to pick up a key and start a truck with it. -Go to menu. Select "pick up key" -Go to menu. Select "unlock door" -Go to menu. Select "open door" -Go to menu. Select "insert key in ignition" -Go to menu. Select "start engine" What, no "depress clutch" or "shift into first" menu commands? Even shit like pulling someone up to a ledge you're on requires a menu command. HELLO? ICO DID THIS SHIT WITH ONE BUTTON FOUR YEARS AGO, FUCKERS. Seriously, what the fuck? Shit like this is straight out of the first Dragon Warrior game where you had to select "talk" from a menu to talk to a townsperson, or "stairs" to climb some stairs you were STANDING ON, or "open" to open a treasure chest you were STANDING ON, back when designers weren't smart enough to consider that you'd want to do the obvious action in whatver circumstance you were in. Since where has there ever been more than one thing to do with an object in a survival horror game? There's absolutely no reason to play this game (other than to have the promising concept dashed as you experience the suck for yourself). The gameplay is extremely tedious and the voice acting is so bad that you don't look foward to the cutscenes. FABIO's Obligatory "imagine if" Summary: Imagine if you were playing Manhunt with no radar and a flashlight with a 15 foot visibility (like Silent Hill). The only way to spot enemies before they spot you is to stop, leave yourself vulnerable, and spend several minutes guestimating where they are based on their point of views. You must do this at every corner. Half the enemies have guns that kill you in two hits. Then take away Brian Cox and replace him with the English voice actors from Dynasty Warriors.[/quote]