Forum Overview :: Deleted Posts :: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

[quote name="elwonko"]On my desktop, the icon for KotOR was sandwiched between No One Lives Forever 2 and Temple of Elemental Evil. Now that I think about it, that's a pretty good description of the game - one half of the game is all beautiful 3d graphics, interesting characters (at least, the ones I ACTUALLY GOT TO MEET - but more on that later), and generally well-written dialogue, while the other, bigger half is a fucking dismal bug-ridden mess of inexplicable crashes to the exciting land of my goddamn desktop, constant banal morality choices that are apparently irrelevant to the final plot, and an inexcusably miserable mini-game where you have to argue with snide forum-goers and the support team for two days before you uninstall the game in disgust. The game begins in space, I guess. The bad guys are shooting up your shit, which is pretty typical of them. You quickly find yourself wondering how they managed to conquer the galaxy by shooting, as melee weapons are much, much, much better. You'll eventually find yourself on the planet Tarsis, running a series of FedEx quests in order to save a Jedi lady/future party member. The quests and general plotline on Tarsis are standard early-game Bioware fare - talk to the green guy, find his missing Holo-Bong, get rewards, repeat until you find the Jedi lady. Some solid dialogue and cut-scenes (I liked the the short but deadly bounty hunter guy!) makes the whole thing a lot more enjoyable. Mind, the dialogue does take the occasional turn for the gay. Does Carth have a painful past that only your love and/or understanding can help him overcome? Can you avoid the incredibly subtle nature of the dark side - namely, helping the NPC's rather than blatantly murdering them for sport? NO ONE CARES, Bioware. Anyway, after a shitty mini game of racing majestic space scooters, you steal a spaceship and escape to talk to the mysterious Jedi Council. The Jedi Council is mysterious because you never actually meet them. The evil Dark Jedi blow up Tarsis to stop you, and, even as you escape at the last second, you cannot avoid battling their fighter ships in another mini-game. In an unusual and unexpected plot twist, the Sith fighters win by crashing your game EVERY SINGLE TIME. I guess this means you don't save the galaxy and, instead, die a horrible death in the vaccum of space. This ending, while frustrating, does unlock yet another mini-game. This game involves battling accusations of pirating the game and having unacceptable system requirements until you get another FedEx quest to update and install drivers for EVERYTHING, EVER. I did manage to get an extended version of the original ending, though. However, I found the five-minute slideshow of scrambled Sith fighters and the new BEEEEEEPBEEEEEEEEEEPHONK* soundtack remix pretty unsatisfying. Oh, and you still crash to desktop at the end. Overall, it's a mixed bag. Of cement. That you should drop the fucking game CDs into and throw into the nearest body of water. [/quote]