Forum Overview :: Deleted Posts :: Panzer Dragoon Orta (XBox)

[quote name="Mischief Maker"]The game is about flying on the back of the ugliest goddamn dragon (in terms of design, not animation or modeling) ever imagined and blowing shit up. This game is very pretty. The premise is that long ago there was a great civilization built off genetic engineering who were destroyed for some reason and the bioengineered weapons left behind ran rampant, evoloved to better suit the environment, and threaten the poorly equipped humans that remain today with extinction. In terms of game design it makes for really interesting enemies that range from wild beasts that don't quite look natural to preserved relics that nearly look robotic but have juuust enough of a biological look to them to seem alive. The effect is really well done and makes the game. The most fun level is about halfway through when you take on the evil empire's flying fleet while whipping through the clouds and sky. The worst one comes near the end when the game suddenly decides you need to h4x0r teh GiB50N and sends you to virtual reality. Has anyone ever made a VR level in a video game that didn't suck? Am I the only one who thinks having virtual reality in a video game is unnecessarily redundant and stupid? Then there's a cool level where you fuck up the empire's seat of power, then the obligatory anime boss fight that seems to take place in some alternate reality of fire and sunsets as the boss ruminates on the meaning of life and death. Then there's the tragic ending where the dragon finally gives up the ghost (oops! Spoiler!) then there's the credits, then there's the epilouge which will totally disgust you and sour any good thoughts you might have had towards the anime perverts responsible for the game. You see the bad guy in the game is this drone (basically a meat android) that needs you, orta the mysterious chick who knows nothing about ehr past, to help him avoid death by reasons that are not entirely clear. He leads you into an ancient laboratory that happens to be the second worst level in the game where it's revealed to you *SHOCKER* that you're half human! Your other half is drone which makes you the bastard child of a meat-sexbot. So what? Well that's when the lecherous badguy drone, who previously had said that drones are sterile and doomed to die without offsping, comes at you and says "With your body I can reproduce myself indefinitely." In other words, he's matt from Project Megan. You must then keep his creepy hands off you by shooting him in the crotch before he flies away and does some unclear shit to become the final boss. Then you kill him as alternates between whining about death and sweet talking you by saying, "Orta, I need you." Now for the sick ending. If you read the silly bits of fanfiction and (my favorite) genetics lessons as seen through the eyes of anime perverts, that you unlock as the game progresses, you'll learn that dragons, besides being totally awesome, are sterile. During the game the dragon does everything in its power to protect you, even getting up with its wings all fucked up in an arctic level and running on foot. You assume that its total devotion to you is some kind of master/pet relationship. Then you learn in the epilouge that it left behind an heir. Huh? you ask, aren't they supposed to be sterile? Then you see the half drone main character walking alongside the little dragon with maternal love in her eyes and you say NO! FOR FUCK'S SAKE GET THAT PICTURE OUT OF MY EYES YOU SICK FUCKING ANIME FREAKS! The game can be finished in maybe 6 hours time. There're unlockables, but they're pretty boring. One unlockable is the original panzer dragoon, the game that launched a thousand sega saturns, but being a graphics showboat for its time is practically unplayable after finishing Orta. One interesting thing about it, though, is that its music totally blows away Orta's generic video game score. The first level music will make you feel like Atreiu taking his first flight on Falcore. But in the end this game has zero replayability when you realize that the controls (move an aiming reticule to highlight and shoot down fixed formations of incoming enemies, occasionally move the dragon to avoid an oncoming obstacle) make this a clone of another graphics showboat from way back when: Rebel Assault. [/quote]