Forum Overview :: Tales of the Sword Coast :: Same ol'

[quote name="Tony"]My moods vary in two ways: sharp, sudden turns, reversing as quickly as they occur, and more gradual movements over weeks and months. I'm in a bit of a trough right now. As usual, I've retreated from the world, losing interest in anything not pure entertainment, unwilling to endure the headaches and fear that accompany all of my physical/mental/social exertions. I stopped looking for apartments, avoided my online game, and ignored this journal for as long as was possible. Here are entries for *four* *days*. Friday After leaving my case worker's office, I wandered the shopping center for a while, waiting for my father to pick me up (he had borrowed my car). The glances of the people walking by provoked a horrible fit of self-consciousness and self-loathing. I wanted to burrow into the pavement. On the bright side, it provided me with the impetus to resume my diet. It was only a passing attack as well; I had no problems when I went to rent DVDs a few hours later. Saturday Big shopping day. Bought a bathrobe and a gift voucher for my mother, gardener's hand scrub something whatever for my sister, and a cheap television for the living room. The last was an impulse buy. Retail therapy, etc. I had just reached the parking lot when my shopping cart tipped and dumped the TV on the ground. Carried it the rest of the way, panicking, convinced that I'd broken it, then pulled out and drove home at unwise speeds. Wanted to ram the speed-limit-doing cars in front of me. Had to get to my house *right away*. Felt the same way when I went back for an s-video cable an hour later. Felt only exhaustion when I returned DVDs that night. Sunday Horrible back pain. Barely able to move. (29" RCA TVs are heavy.) Rented DVDs, no problem. When my sister came by (Happy B-day, sis), she brought her boyfriend, and something amazing happened: I ate dinner and watched a couple of DVDs with them. I *always* skip dinner and hide in my bedroom until he leaves, but that evening I didn't feel the need. I even spoke to him a couple of times. Monday Did I do anything? I don't remember. Returned DVDs and bought some food I shouldn't buy. Nothing stands out. An unremarkable day. Mood: Weary Music: Creep - Love Seed Mama Jump[/quote]