Caltrops - Xenosaga





	[quote name="Jhoh Creexul"][quote name="Jason Love"]Normally, I wouldn't bother with voicing my objections to a particular review, especially on the reviewer's own website. I'd generally just chalk it up to us having different tastes in games and move on. However, I feel you've done the review process itself a disservice with this review, and the only reason I mention it is because you declared you'd "already covered" the review for a website which I generally find to be objective and even-handed.[/quote] I am sure that the owner of that mysterious website, who I will not name, would LIKE to say these sorts of things about Xenosaga, but his <b>or her</b> manners will not let them. [quote]I believe that the gamer who can legitemately find enjoyment in a game everyone else recognizes as trash is one of the luckiest people in the world, and your review robs people of the chance to be that gamer.[/quote] In a perfect world, yes, I would be robbing them of that chance. Unfortunately, it'll probably only want to make more people play the game to see if it really is that bad (helpful fun hint: it is). [quote]Obviously, as a reviewer it is your job to wave people away from games that will devour their attention just to reward them with a horrible experience, but that can be accomplished without actually poisoning people to the game. Let me give some examples.[/quote] I would like to point out, in case my review didn't make it clear, that Xenosaga actually IS poisonous. [quote]"Judging by my senses and perception skills, which are advanced light years beyond any fan of Xenogears or Xenosaga,..." This is exactly what I'm talking about.[/quote] NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [quote]Obviously, your site sells itself on its edgy and acerbic humor, often coming at the expense of the readers themselves, but this wasn't especially humorous, nor even particularly relevent to the game.[/quote] Well ES, Fusbet, Bill Clownshoes, SB, other friends, this obviously means you, since Caltrops isn't mine in any sense. You guys obviously fucked something up really really bad for this guy to get so <b>politely unhappy</b> with you. I should probably include Zseni. Nice job, people. You <b>FUCKED</b> it up to begin with, now just fucking SIT THERE, <b><i>like a dumb bell</i></b> and feel the shame. [quote]This was, quite simply, an attempt to vilify people who enjoy this game. However, I contend that it is possible to enjoy Xenosaga even while being cognizant of its shortcomings. Is any fanservice too much fanservice? You bet your ass it is! Are the religious references entirely arbitrary? Pretty much, yeah. Just because I recognize this, should I not be able to enjoy playing Xenosaga? And if I do, does that make you more intelligent and perceptive than me? "NO, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, HOW DARE YOU! YOU ARE JUST LIKE AMERICA WHEN PEARL HARBOR ATTACKED OUR FLEET!" There's that hyperbole, again, this time in service to a metaphor I found extremely tenuous at best, completely unsupported at worst. I also find it interesting that you seem to suggest that, because of Japan's immoral past, they aren't capable of moral behavior now.[/quote] On the contrary my fine sir, I could <b>also</b> be implying that they should be vaporized either way! [quote]"The cutscenes in Xenosaga are not really boring, I thought. They're just really really bad. And again, since the game is made up of them, that doesn't exactly give you a lot left to work with." Well, I timed about 8 hours of cutscenes in the 62 hours I've spent playing the game so far. Completely ignoring the fact that you aren't explaining every cutscene is a bad cutscene, that still leaves about 7/8 of the game untouched. It's understood, of course, that you'll play less than me since you aren't enjoying yourself, but even assuming you only played half as much of me, that's still 3/4 of the game undescribed. I think you may have mentioned the gameplay is "boring." Care to elaborate on that?[/quote] Gameplay...? I didn't notice any gameplay. I noticed some corridor wandering and occasional button presses. Maybe I would've played throughout all 600+ hours of objectively brilliant art if I weren't such an uncultured gaijin I suppose. I'm too much of a non-Japanese type carbon unit to appreciate the brilliant brilliance of Xenosaga. [quote]"Some of the creepiest motherfuckers you could ever regret meeting, even if it's on a message board on the internet." Not only does this blanket statement have nothing to do with the game itself, I would also argue that it's not true. Well, actually, since it's your opinion, who am I to say that it's not true? But I don't much appreciate being labeld a creepy motherfucker, regardless.[/quote] B-blanket statements!?!?! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE SHUT DOWN THE INTERNET, <b>NOW</b>! WE NEED TO GET RID OF PEOPLE MAKING GENERALIZATIONS ABOUT EACH OTHER PLZ OH GOD I CAN'T SEE I AM CRYING TOO HARD BUMPING INTO WALLS AND BIG GAY DICKS Anyway I made my observation about Xenosaga/gears fans by observing them. About roughly 100% (or more) met the description I have given them. Maybe if there were less people like that who liked Xenogears, I wouldn't have said such things. [quote]"Everything right about this game was stolen from FFX. Everything they brought themselves is fucked up beyond belief, repair, and forgiveness." Really, I just included this part to ask: exactly which successful part did you have in mind as being stolen from FFX?[/quote] You are right, I forgot that part. Gomen! The part that they got right was the saving being very nice and quick, and the saving screen being very easily laid out. It looked almost identical to the one in FFX. The battle system, however, was muddled until it looked like a big mess, there was actually a motherfucking slot machine in it. Someone needs to be executed for that one. [quote]Personally, I was of the opinion that the two games were enjoyable for entirely different reasons--the main things I liked about FFX being entirely absent from Xenosaga, and vice versa. Would you like to explain that further?[/quote] Well, explaining it further: FFX is better. You're welcome. [quote]I don't want to judge unfairly, but from the tone of your website it's hard to imagine that I'll get a serious response to my complaints;[/quote] That is a start, but if Xenosaga fans didn't take everything so seriously, they wouldn't be Xenosaga fans now would they? [quote]I'm going to call that good for now. I'll be very interested to hear your response. Abundantly obsequious, Jason Love[/quote] It sounds like you've let the saga take you. RIGHT UP THE ASS YOU FUCKIN COCKSUCKER PS: So I assume you enjoyed MOMO's panties.[/quote]