Forum Overview :: Cabaret Voltron :: Re: Nice, but

[quote name="Bill Dungsroman"][quote name="Senor Barborito"][quote name="Bill Dungsroman"]Inspired by indifference, Motivated by transgression, Marking time by casual experience, Catalogued by forced repression. Finding odd strength in weakness, Scratching stones of another old wall, Traversing a landscape of mutable bleakness, Blinking the eye of a horror-squall. Travelling among this shiftless substance, Sailing a wind borne of wasted breath, Destinations deliberate happenstance, A circumvential journey beginning at death. -BDR [/quote] You seem to be missing a syllable for the last line in the second stanza, no? Was thinking "Blinking in the eye of a horror-squall" or "Blinking the eye inside a horror-squall" might work, but maybe I'm getting the beat down wrong. Don't mean to be an ass I just mentally slipped on that line when reading it. Very good, otherwise (and I may be wrong about the above) - nicely original word-combos. --SB[/quote] I guess I fucked it up in that I was assigning an eye to a squall like one would a hurricane. But then I'd have to change the second line to "Snorting lines of old cocaine" and while semi-autobiographical, it surrenders somewhat of the imagery I was shooting for. Otherwise, thanks! And it summoned a /mc as a bonus! [/quote]