Forum Overview :: Rants :: Meanwhile, I am having a great day.

[quote name="Jerry Whorebach"]It's Tim Horton's birthday today and they're giving a free donut to everyone who remembers (HURRY YOU CAN STILL GET ONE), so since it was such a beautiful day AYWAY I decided to spend it walking to every Tim Hortons in a five mile radius. I took a shirt so I could meet the minimum requirements to order a donut but I obviously didn't wear it, not even when it started sprinkling a bit (ladies yell the nicest things when I glisten). My grid pattern brought me close enough to my building around lunch time so I decided to stop in for a cup of tea (the donuts aren't REALLY free if you let them sell you a beverage) and there was all this bizarre tribal shit spread out on the freecycle table, like some kind of cultural anthropologist or aggressively aboriginal guy decided to do some spring cleaning. I've been pounding sugar-glazed birthday cake donuts all morning so there's no way I'm not picking up what looks like a five-foot tassled medicine pole and twirling it Gambit-style while I check out my Channing Tatum abs in the big hallway mirror. That's when the cap flies off and HOLY FUCK SPEAR. That was it, my day was over, nothing else was getting done until everything in my apartment had a hole rammed through it with my new four-inch metal bladed hole punch. Now I'm sitting here sipping Red Rose next to a Samsung LCD TV box with huge gaping wounds where its crudely drawn magic marker face and genitals used to be and I feel like a million bucks. Happy birthday, Tim Horton![/quote]