Forum Overview :: Gamerasutra :: DS JRPGs

[quote name="Mischief Maker"]I'm weird in that I bought my DS for actual on-the-go gaming. Specifically plane flights and hotel rooms. So I was willing to embrace time-sucking grind that would be unacceptable for me on the computer as selling points to carry me through long flights. All it convinced me was that I can't go back to old-school RPGs. I fucking lived these games as a kid but I can no longer stand them. Here's the ones I've tried (leaving out SRPGs for another post) <B>The Dark Spire</B>: I was enjoying exploring the twisty-turny maze and solving the puzzles and uncovering secrets, but fuck me, every five steps I was running into asshole goblins which meant 5 mintues of tapping the A button before I could get back to the fun part and whoops, the random number generator just decided to fuck me over with this treasure chest so time to go back to town before starting over. I'm really getting sick of being fucked over by random number generators and having almost no input into the situation. At least in Puzzle Quest I have the illusion of some influence over how to respond to the hand the random number generator dealt me. <B>Infinite Space</B>: Terrible game. Once the excitement of playing an actual space opera game wore off I could find almost no redeeming qualities to this game. The controls are stylus only, but all you're doing is pushing buttons, the worst of both worlds. Combat is all about slow pornographic sweeps over the primitive playstation-esque models of your ships while terrible voice actors yammer technobabble before you FINALLY shoot one shot. The game is all about grinding money for new parts, but the enemies hardly drop any money and the random number generator can be damned stingy at times with the random encounters. But what really made me put the game down and trade it away was the creepy incestual subplot. Early in the game it's suggested with all the subtlety of a 2x4 to the face that the girl your protagonist thinks is his sister is actually an alien observer and your memories of her are implanted. Every so often a character blurts out "Are you <I>sure</I> she's your sister?" Then shortly into the start of chapter 3, all the other characters gang up on you in the bar and say, "YOU TWO ACT MORE LIKE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND THAN BROTHER AND SISTER!" And your character fights back, "shut up, sickos, she's my sister!" And everyone else yells, "ARE YOU SURE SHE'S YOUR SISTER??? I BET SHE ISN'T I BET YOU COULD FUCK YOUR SISTER AND IT WOULD BE TOTALLY JUSTIFIED SINCE SHES JUST AN ALIEN WHO PRETENDS SHES YOUR SISTER. C'MON, MAN, FUCK YOUR SISTER!!!" Christ, is everyone who draws anime a horrible pervert? Can I enjoy my Star Wars without your disgusting incest fantasies? Oh wait... <B>Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey</B>: I really REALLY wanted to love this game. Finally, a japanese game with an original setting and plot. Sure, the characters were all 2-dimensional stereotypes, but c'mon, what a crazy story premise. This'll be great! Then somewhere around the end of chapter 3, I inhaled to let out what I intended to be a sign of disappointment, but what came out was a full diaphragm-supported groan of disgust. Here's the exchange that caused this: (Setting: the characters have spent several quests collecting the parts to build a super cannon to pierce the invincible shield of the boss monster, now they're confronting it.) Lawful Character: Okay, team! I have a brilliant plan. Let's shoot the boss monster with the anti-boss-monster cannon! Chaotic Character: Who cares about your stupid plan, Lawful Character? I'm gonna attack this invincible-shielded boss monster HEEEAAAD OOONNNNN! Invincible Boss Monster: *Bitchslap* Chaotic Character: Aaaaaaaugh! (Later, after they shoot the boss monster with the cannon) Chaotic Character: Urgh. How shameful to have been defeated. <I>If only I were stronger</I><B><U>DOT</U> <U>DOT</U> <U>DOT</B></U> (ed note: Foreshadowing!) Is there like some Kabuki rule in japan you can only use one of 5 personalities for your character? No wonder Kurosawa got savaged by japanese movie critics.[/quote]