Caltrops - Mac Hall Complaints Department





	[quote name="Mischief Shai-hulud"]This is because the quality of the books dropped suddenly, precipitously, and consistently. By the time these guys stopped, the quality had dropped so low that the shitty initial sequels didn't seem that bad in comparison. Dune was meant to be a complete novel by itself and was never intended to have sequels. The same is true of the sequels to my other favorite Sci Fi novel of all time, Rendezvous with Rama. Seriously ICJ, you should read Dune. You won't be disappointed. BEWARE! DUNE SEQUEL SPOILERZ BELOW! Dune 2: Pail is emperor and ruler of the galaxy. Stilgar notes that his sister Alia is getting dangerously horny and needs a husband. Then someone tries to kill Paul with a shitty bomb that only blows up people's eyes. Despite Dune 1 having a plausible sci fi reason for Paul being able to predict the future, in this book Paul can still "see" for reasons unexplained. The fremen want Paul to go die in the desert, even though they literally now have all the money and resources in the galaxy and no need to cull weakened tribe members for suvival, much less their frigging messiah. Paul refuses because he wants to find the assassin. Then Chani dies in childbirth and Paul loses his magic vision because he's sad. But he sees the assassin in time and kills him. How? By using the sight of his newborn son, who magically has the mind of an adult and the ability to transfer his sight to Paul. Now that the assassin's dead, Paul goes to die in the desert. And Alia shacks up with a clone of Duncan Idaho. Dune 3: A whole new group of evil fremen appear! What makes them evil? Why, they waylay travelers and render them for their water. Isn't that exactly what Stilgar was planning to do to Paul and his mother? Well yeah, but he wasn't going to do it quite so evilly. And rumor has it, the evil Fremen have a man with no eyes and the ability to see the future. Could this be Paul??? Meanwhile Paul's twin kids have the combined memories of every single king in the world all the way back to ancient Egypt. Then someone tries to kill them. The sister goes into a deathlike trance while the brother flees to the desert and ends up in the hands of the evil fremen. There he runs into Paul, who laments that he didn't follow this whole kwisatz haderach thing through to the end. What end is that? Well the son covers his body with sand worm larva who bond to his body and form a suit of living armor giving him super speed and strength! And Alia goes crazy and dies. Dune 4: The son's sandworm armor has grown to massive size and he's a barely mobile jabba the hut-esque blob sitting on his throne. Then Duncan Idaho clone #327 enters the throne room and walks really close to the throne so he can shoot the son with his laser gun. Then in a scene that is not at all hilarious, the son jumps off his throne and squashes Idaho flat. Then he makes a mental note to order another Duncan Idaho clone. AND THAT'S WHERE I QUIT! BOY THOSE SEQUELS WERE WORTH READING![/quote]