Forum Overview :: Laurence Fishburne's Dance Dance Revolution :: Moments with Hewters.

[quote name="Zsenitan"]Hewters is a friend of a friend with whom I "chill" on a regular basis. She is a pale, professional, WASPy woman with enormous giant fat titties and impeccable liberal credentials. I pretty much spend all our time together talking about how succulent her tits are while she languishes in the depths of my excellent cooking, exquisite taste, and personal filthiness. The IRL conversations are on the level of "Hewters my dear girl will you help me prepare supper?" "Of course Zseni what would you like me to do." "Tonight's pud is jizz on your tits, be a lamb and take your shirt off would you." "Oh Zseni <i>really.</i> *aggressively ignores me*" But the IM conversations are more like this: (3:03:34 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> I am determined to be politely unreceptive to your inappropriate overtures. (3:03:49 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> Is "inappropriate" truly the word? (3:04:40 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> Opprobrious? (3:04:55 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> Does that mean "awesome/hot"? (3:05:09 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> No. (3:05:16 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> Oh well then that one's wrong too. (4:12:59 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> Actually you know what Beff and I were thinking of doing the First Thursday gallery walk (4:13:07 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> maybe you could come with and out-dress us (4:13:21 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> since I will wear whatever I own that is shiny, and Beff will wear her usual drab rags. (4:14:05 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> That's quite a picture. (4:14:09 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> What time? (4:14:13 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> 6ish? (4:14:31 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> Cool. Can't commit right now, but I'll let you know. (4:14:54 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> You know that ice princess shit gets me so raw and sweaty girl. ^_^;; (4:15:00 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> I have a second-round interview Thursday afternoon, yay. (11:21:28 AM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> Thanks again for an awesome dinner, by the way. (11:22:17 AM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> I do it all for the nookie, baby. (11:22:39 AM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> That must be exceptionally unrewarding for you, then. (11:24:09 AM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> Unkind. (11:27:39 AM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> Aww. (11:28:03 AM) Hewters has gone away. (4:05:51 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> Hewters (4:06:15 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> have you ever consider the moisturizing effects of nudity + rich creamery coconut oil? (4:06:24 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> from a feminist standpoint I mean (4:09:17 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> coconut lotion is quite nice (4:09:44 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> Damnit Hewters this relationship is going nowhere. I am all Hustler and you are all Victoria. (4:10:10 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> I'm sorry to disappoint. (4:10:28 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> Can't you see that beneath my sleazy exterior I'm just a wounded romantic liberal waiting for someone's fat fucking fat motherly instincts to lift me to my higher ground (4:10:54 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> You could BE that unthanked sex object. Think about it. (4:11:07 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> It's quite an offer. (4:11:16 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> A whole world of being taken horribly for granted - a lot of people would kill for that (4:11:20 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> specially in this job market. <font color="red"><b>EDITORS NOTE: Hewters is unemployed. This was a total dick move on my part, I swear I didn't realize what I was saying til I said it.</b></font> (4:11:31 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> Heh. (4:11:44 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> Okay okay I will tell you what <font color="red"><b>EDITORS NOTE: oh god backpedal for fuck's sake.</b></font> (4:11:58 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> Oh, please do. (4:12:11 PM) <font color="purple">Hewters:</font> Waiting with baited breath. (4:12:15 PM) <font color="green">Zseni:</font> Let's just watch costume dramas and drink white wine. (4:12:58 PM) Hewters has gone away. [/quote]