Forum Overview :: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
 
Boy this really is awful by FABIO 01/10/2005, 9:57pm PST
First 5 minutes:

History lesson for preteens. "What's the cold war?" Every major event in the 50's and 60's was actually part of some retarded behind the scenes conspiracy. Your commander points out to you that America's nuclear missiles in Turkey gave the Russians no strategic advantage. Okay.

To show how cool and hardass Snake is he doesn't put out his cigar when first ordered. Then he finally flicks the cigar and you get about 50 closeups of it from different angles spinning through the air in slow motion.


Next 15 minutes:

Slowly crawling through grass to sneak up on guards and stab them.

Next 5 minutes:

Coming to the conclusion that stealth sucks and starting over on easy so I can start off with a gun and just shoot everyone while having constant 80% camo.

Next 30 minutes (all cutscenes):

Ocelot is a whiny nancy and reminds me of that vampire prince from bloodlines (only less maure and interesting). He shoots 5 heavily armed men with a tiny pistol while they all just stand there. Him and his men make meowing noises to each other as signals and battlecries. Once or twice in every cutscene he will tell you about Ocelots and how he is like one. Snake beats him and his men unconcious (still in a non-playable cutscene), but if you shoot and kill his unconscious body the game is over because you created some kind of time paradox where the previous two metal gear games couldn't exist. Snake tells him his stance is all wrong for automatic pistols and that he should try using REVOLVERS.

Then you get introduced to many other future bosses: some guy who shoots lightning, a beekeeper that can control bees. some evil spider guy that shoots webs out his ass (replacing Vamp I guess), and some woman that beats the shit out of snake.

Next 5 minutes:

Being introduced to the horrible horrible new healing system where you have to use a dozen different healing items on various parts of your body to perform self surgery after beating beat up by a girl. I guess the self-surgery is to show how much of a hardass Snake is, but I would have preferred just a quick cutscenes of him doing it with 50 different slow mo camera angles, or just show the clip where Sylvester Stallone does it in Rambo III.

That's where I quit, and I hadn't even gotten to the food and hunting system yet.

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Boy this really is awful by FABIO 01/10/2005, 9:57pm PST NEW
 
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