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BIKINI SAMURAI SQUAD SUCKS by Worm 02/14/2009, 5:19pm PST So I guess Earth Defense Force 2017 was the biggest fluke ever. Since Bikini Samurai Squad is just really really awful. There are these bars to increase your tits(I meant stats here but lets roll with it), and I'm about eight levels in and they're not even 1/100th of the way full so I guess that means you just grind out survival mode forever, or my one thousandth of investment is actually all I needed and I just suck. There are just some baffling things, monsters you can only kill with a special just-frame combo, monsters you can only kill in super mode(which actually decreases your life), horrible motorcycle segments, and a really hard boss fight that is followed up by fighting that boss with her clones and they all have a giant knockback. That's where I just gave up, all the key gathering in place of action is pretty awful too, and to get back to that fucking boss I think I'm going to have to pick up at least two keys and fight the original super hard boss first. The super mode is really annoying because it doesn't only decrease your life but it's unavoidable. So after enough fighting your one girl is going to start losing life and you need to find a statue to turn it off and use her tag partner until she gets in super mode. They wouldn't have to do any of this retarded shit to increase the difficulty if they just made the normal zombies fucking HIT YOU, which they don't at all. Even when they started spawning with weapons, they just never attack. So it's just a bunch of stupid boss/invincible monster hurdles thrown in to make up for a lack in difficulty that could have been simply fixed. The final insult is the dress up mode, which a piece of clothing is unlocked for each super difficult achievement, so basically you have a chick with random pieces of clothing missing and covered in blood, this makes it feel more like Bikini Samurai SVU. For the first few levels you might think this game is riding the dead rising vibe decently, being a battle royale against zombies, but eventually it becomes obvious that they wanted the game to have random and absurd difficulty spikes for absolutely no reason. So it's really not the controls or anything like that, it's just dumb ideas shoved into the game for absolutely no reason. There are some really cool just frame dodges and special combos that look slick as shit, it's just unfortunate you have to learn all that stuff to just get through the fucking thing on normal. Fussbet mentioned D3Publisher's games suck, but I had only played EDF 2017 which I loved and Puzzle Quest which I guess lots of other people loved. This isn't even fun in a cheesy light hearted way, it's just really frustrating and awful.

BIKINI SAMURAI SQUAD SUCKS by Worm 02/14/2009, 5:19pm PST     oh wait there is an item screen that the game never tells you about by Worm 06/07/2009, 10:57am PDT