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| The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay by Fussbett 01/04/2005, 5:41am PST | ||||
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The message of The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay is that it's better to be a latently homosexual pro wrestler than a delicate, outwardly gay and ornately dressed fag. Better to gravelly growl the threat that someone is going to get "fucked" instead of using a European lilt to speak of the prison guards as your "boys". Representing you is the newest inmate of triple max prison "Butcher Bay", smoldering manly man Riddick (who is totally not gay at all (he loves chicks probably)). Representing flaming gayness and all that is evil, prison warden Hoxie, the foreign pretty boy who buys nice things and speaks in a little girly voice.
SHOWDOWN: Kill the effeminate Hoxie. Then oil up and flex. Surrounding this giant battle over how you should express your homosexuality is a great FPS that everyone should try. Crazy violence like turning a guard's gun back against his face while still in his hands. Actual funny parts like your ED209-esque robot advising you to read the operator's manual after you accidentally back it into a wall. Insanely great graphics that sometimes reduced my computer to tears (looking for LOWER resolutions, I noticed this game would allow for high resolutions my monitor can't even dream of. I think one of the offered resolution figures was in scientific notation.) Finally, the PC version of Escape from Butcher Bay features a great "developer commentary" to the entire game which offers genuine replay value, not fake replay value like "harder difficulty". That paragraph was the buff Vin Diesel list of good things. On the opposite prancing slender queer side of things was the fact that I got plenty sick of the backtracking and getting lost while in "double max" prison. You'll know what I mean when you get there. Not only is there a sewer level, there are vents and air ducts -- ceiling sewers. I also didn't like the 10 fps that occasionaly assaulted my eyes while my computer was busy doing complex floating point math instead of delivering smooth framerates. Unintentionally hilarious at each boot-up is Vin Diesel's game production company, Tigon. A tigon is a totally radical cross between a tiger and lion, and completely unlike a liger, which is a cross between a lion and tiger and pretty much Napoelon Dynamite's favourite animal. I know I've portrayed Escape from Butcher Bay as a giant ode to penis, and that might scare off some of you, but there aren't a lot of women in prison. It's a fact. Don't you enjoy prison movies? Animal Factory, American Me, American History X... Butcher Bay has all of that gritty atmosphere minus the scary anal rape. I still had to bend a guy over the toilet, though.  Haha, relax, I merely killed him. His rubber pants remained on at all times. To win back fans of murder and the right wing, let me show you this screenshot totally unrelated to anything gay. Much scarier is ISLAM:  There used to be TWO muslims praying on the mats (in the "fuckers area"). I killed the other one with my bare hands. You can too! |
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The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay by 01/04/2005, 5:41am PST  Positive reinforcement-- by 01/04/2005, 7:19pm PST Or a review. NT by 01/04/2005, 9:27pm PST That's pretty funny. NT by 01/08/2005, 3:50pm PST I don't know how I feel about... by 01/08/2005, 6:35pm PST dark athena by 12/05/2008, 4:10am PST Tagline: This summer, Dark Athena's gonna get the 'Dicking of her life. NT by 12/05/2008, 4:39am PST WHO? Who has ever said "hope begins in the dark"? Nobody ever says that. by 12/05/2008, 10:00am PST Anne Lammot NT by 12/05/2008, 10:07am PST Re: WHO? Who has ever said "hope begins in the dark"? Nobody ever says that. by 12/12/2008, 2:13am PST Atari. :( by 12/05/2008, 10:17am PST Atari also picked up the publishing rights for that Dan Akroyd/Harold Ramis game by 12/14/2008, 11:47am PST Re: dark athena by 12/05/2008, 10:50am PST Animate Digital Vin Diesel's face NT by 12/12/2008, 5:40am PST Re: dark athena by 12/18/2008, 4:24pm PST Wanna live? NT by 12/05/2008, 12:34pm PST one fish two fish red fish blue fish NT by 12/12/2008, 5:44am PST Intro cut scene by 01/21/2009, 7:53pm PST hey isn't that ensign ro? NT by 01/22/2009, 1:26pm PST In the end, everyone bleeds the same NT by 01/21/2009, 11:09pm PST More gameplay by 02/23/2009, 9:01pm PST we never did get around to playing this game NT by 01/22/2009, 1:18pm PST |
