Caltrops - The Zionist Media Conspiracy

Forum Overview :: The Zionist Media Conspiracy

by Rafiki 12/14/2008, 12:18am PST

nymag.com wrote:

Today saw the release of the annual Black List, an index of the year's best-liked, not-yet-produced screenplays. To compile it, more than 250 film executives were polled and each script had to be mentioned four times to warrant inclusion.

nymag.com

TOP ON THE LIST:

THE BEAVER by Kyle Killen
“A depressed man finds hope in a beaver puppet that he wears on his hand.”

Just on that sentence alone, this idea was so stupid I was dying to see it. It turns out that it's going to be a Steve Carell movie. I don't know how to feel about that. I don't have anything against him personally. I've seen 40-Year Old Virgin (good), but I haven't seen The Office, and Evan Almighty sucked. This could work if it was fucked up enough, but I doubt the writer pulled it off.

BUTTER by Jason Micallef
“A small town becomes a center for controversy and jealousy as its annual butter carving contest begins.”

Unfortunately this would never turn out to be the way I imagine it. 90 minutes of Fat Chicks in Party Hats and butter.

RAINDROPS ALL AROUND ME by Reed Agnew & Eli Jorne
“A socially awkward high school teacher learns to ‘dumb it down’ in order to fit in with those around him.”

QT3: The Movie

KEIKO by Elizabeth Wright Shapiro
“A white teenage girl, who was adopted and raised in Japan by Japanese parents, travels to America to find her long lost father, comedian Dana Carvey.”

I can see the movie trailer for this already. It starts out with a montage of really artsy and historic Japanese landmarks and locations set to some classical Japanese music, with a narration from the girl about life and growing up in Japan and talking about wanting to someday meet her father. The music continues to play over a shot of a jetliner flying into LA, then cut to slowly zooming in on a really expensive, classy looking mansion. Knock on the door, door swings open, Dana Carvey standing there with a confused goofy smile.
[RECORD SCRATCH]
[DANA CARVEY SAYS SOMETHING WACKY]
[MONTAGE OF GIRL AND DANA CARVEY HAVING AWKWARD COMICAL ADVENTURES SET TO JAMES BROWN'S "I FEEL GOOD"]

GRAND THEFT AUTO by Jason Dean Hall
“Facing foreclosure on his repo yard, a young ex-con resumes a life of crime only to get blamed when his uncle’s coke deal gets hijacked. Caught in double crosses between Russian mafia, Yakuza, and the ATF, the young ex-con kidnaps a crime boss’s daughter and steals car after car on a Vegas bound suicide mission to retrieve the stolen drugs.”

Starring Nicholas Cage.

YOUR DREAMS SUCK by Kat Dennings & Geoffrey Litwak
“An awkward teen with no self esteem regains his self-confidence after joining a Dance Dance Revolution team.”

QT3: The Movie.

FRESHLY POPPED by Megan Parsons
“A teenage girl who works at a movie theater tries to decide to whom she wants to lose her virginity.”

JESUS. That's an exclamation, not a suggestion. Also, if this gets made it's going to end up as a remake of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, guaranteeing it will be terrible.

The Black List 2008 by Rafiki 12/14/2008, 12:18am PST NEW

Re: The Black List 2008 by Creexuls, a monster >:3 12/14/2008, 4:43am PST NEW

I can't tell you how excited your post title got me... NT by Fussbett 12/14/2008, 5:57am PST NEW