Caltrops - The Zionist Media Conspiracy

Forum Overview :: The Zionist Media Conspiracy

by Fussbett 12/27/2004, 7:45pm PST

Three homies walked out of the theatre halfway through, probably to adjust their parka hoods or to exchange tips about acting black or whatever. The two fat women behind me hated the movie for it's boringness, and sought to improve it by adding some of themselves into the dialog. I liked it. CHOOSE YOUR SIDE, DEAR MOTHERFUCKING READER. Here's more about me: I mildly liked Rushmore and Tenenbaums, and don't understand why so many worship at their shrines. I thought Napolean Dynamite was a half-assed self-aware in-joke that I got, but wish I didn't because it meant I was part of the wrong crowd. I regard Bottle Rocket, however, as genius.

THE LIFE AQUATIC is a real movie. It's got a plot and a story arc and all the characters have an evident history that doesn't require bald narration to convey. The movie is set in a ridiculous fictional universe where ridiculous fictional things happen with weight and conviction. The premise of Steve Zissou being a showboating Hugh Jacques Hefner Cousteau in a world where competing Hugh Jacques Hefner Cousteaus vie for fame, accolades, and aquatic documentary funding doesn't turn into a grating one-note joke (see: Team America's marionette gags which aren't funny after the commercials). Instead, I came to love the parallel dimension and it faded into the background as the story unfolded, which turns out to be a simple adventure tale of Steve Zissou hunting his demons and fatherhood. With a glock and dynamite.

It may be confusing that I could call Napolean Dynamite self-aware while praising a movie where the research vessel has a sauna, but the difference is that THE LIFE AQUATIC commits hard to the fan-serving quirky universe in such a way that it was no longer jokey. Napolean Dynamite, on the other hand, is a starter "weird" movie for people. Sort of 80's but not, sort of small town but not, Napolean is sort of unhip, but not... There is no "sort of" in THE LIFE AQUATIC. It's full-assed. It's all 200%. DOUBLE-assed. So much more tolerable in it's sincerity.

Enough of that other movie, and back to reviewing THE LIFE AQUATIC. Zseni was the soundtrack producer, did you know? Ample acoustic Bowie songs sung in Portuguese, french style minimal techno (Hayt can provide the accurate terminology, but if they're still looking to coin this style, I'd call it "minitech") and finally a Scott Walker track. I don't recommend that Zseni see the film, though, as it even made me a bit sad by the end, so surely she would kill herself upon viewing. Hear that? I felt a human emotion! The movie is pretty good.