Forum Overview :: Still Life
 
No, you're not too cynical. You just don't play on your zealot enough. by Zsenitan 10/29/2008, 1:49pm PDT
Zsenitan's Road Trip Chronicle wrote:

At the end of the day Andy and I took a cab driven by a stuttering, mentally stunted, wild-eyed ex-trucker. I was pretty sure that this ride would end up as an It Could Happen To You?! story in one of Joe’s gun rags, but to everyone’s shock and awe it was totally the nicest – and cheapest – cab ride either Andy or I had taken in LA. The driver had a severe hip injury which prevented him from following his true passion: cooking. He told us about trucking in northern California, and how he didn’t make much money driving a cab (probably because he charges actual mileage and time rather than Imaginary Eastern European Polish Notation mileage and time) but at least it’s work. Andy tipped him $5 on a $12 fare. I tried to sound soothingly sympathetic, rather than horrified, regarding his unluckiness. He was grateful just to have an audience – grateful enough to stop his fare clock several blocks early, anyway.

After all the IT/Awful Little Man/everyone else on the planet drama, I felt queasy: that fucked dude in his fucked cab, being honest and going broke for it! If he only knew what awful little men make for lying and shirking.

Truth-telling and honest work are the foremost fairytales of American life, inculcated practically from the mother’s titty into every child. Almost everyone figures out that it is BS on the level of Santa Claus, but the mythology is as inescapable during one’s career as Santa is at Christmas. True believers suffer the most.

That's my cab story from last night's email to all my imaginary friends! It is my Marty.

You know what I like the best? The book's author made so much money from Marty's story and Marty's corpse and Marty's sweetness, but was a little too busy to say "hey Marty you should probably see a doctor!" Not even Marty said that to Marty. Marty was insufficiently selfish, to the point where his niceness was lethal, and consequently should have been considered a disease.

Normal healthy people like to read about Marty because it costs them nothing to be a little nicer: they're still inherently self-absorbed, and they're only being nice because they like the way it looks on them - a sweet pair of jeans perking up their sagging moral-consciousness ass. They will never become dangerously nice.

Abnormal fucked-up cynical people read about Marty and cringe, recognizing the dark bottomless maw of an unkind world which is, no mistake about it, gunning for their asses. Usually such people don't need lessons in how unpleasant other people's lives are. Such people have already made a conscious decision to be nice or nasty for whatever reason, and an old dead Walmart employee is not going to change their minds about it.

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I have homework! by Rafiki 10/28/2008, 1:19pm PDT NEW
    Who Moved My Cheese? by Fussbett 10/28/2008, 1:54pm PDT NEW
        non sequitur by FABIO 10/28/2008, 2:59pm PDT NEW
            What about snacks??? NT by I need clarification 10/28/2008, 8:08pm PDT NEW
                There was also no scenery NT by FABIO 10/30/2008, 2:08pm PDT NEW
        It's gotta boost employee morale to compare them to lab mice in a maze. NT by Mischief Euthanizer 10/28/2008, 10:16pm PDT NEW
        I never had to read that one, but it has been mentioned in staff meetings before by Rafiki 10/29/2008, 11:46am PDT NEW
            Let me guess where you can buy lots of copies of that book NT by I need clarification 10/29/2008, 12:08pm PDT NEW
                Probably. There was a subtle tugjob given to Wal-Mart here and there by Rafiki 10/29/2008, 12:16pm PDT NEW
            No, you're not too cynical. You just don't play on your zealot enough. by Zsenitan 10/29/2008, 1:49pm PDT NEW
                I'd play my zealot more if I didn't have to read stupid fucking books published by Rafiki 10/29/2008, 2:03pm PDT NEW
            Plus: Even if you're poor, got fucked, don't cause trouble, just be nice to us. NT by Fussbett 10/29/2008, 6:14pm PDT NEW
        Who Moved My Cheese: The Animated Feature by Rafiki 07/09/2014, 9:15pm PDT NEW
        We were given Cheese to read at work. Christ. NT by Yorick 08/09/2020, 12:12pm PDT NEW
            Somebody wrote they were reading this on a dating site too NT by laudablepuss 08/09/2020, 5:47pm PDT NEW
                My company just offered “voluntary separations” by Rafiki 08/09/2020, 6:14pm PDT NEW
                    I wish companies would do that. by Yorick 08/09/2020, 6:52pm PDT NEW
    Corporate touchy-feely by Last 10/28/2008, 2:51pm PDT NEW
        You guys are assholes. by Quétinbec 10/30/2008, 6:25am PDT NEW
            I can't imagine why she's now your EX-girlfriend NT by Mischief Euthanizer 10/30/2008, 8:07am PDT NEW
                What's that supposed to mean, MM? Are you making fun of me or her? NT by Quétinbec 10/30/2008, 9:34pm PDT NEW
            Re: You guys are assholes. by motherfuckerfoodeater 10/30/2008, 8:28am PDT NEW
                WRONG. by Zsenitan 10/30/2008, 12:33pm PDT NEW
                Re: You guys are assholes. by Quétinbec 10/30/2008, 9:33pm PDT NEW
                    This is all the "Self-Help" you will ever need. by Mischief Maker 10/30/2008, 9:57pm PDT NEW
                    Re: You guys are assholes. by Zsenitan 11/01/2008, 10:10am PDT NEW
            Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart by Fussbett 10/30/2008, 11:29am PDT NEW
            I love Earth's self help books. The more of them I digest, the easier it is for by me to hide amongst you! - Exthok 10/30/2008, 11:54am PDT NEW
                I like Exthok, he seems like a regular guy. NT by laudablepuss 10/30/2008, 12:31pm PDT NEW
                    I, too, would like to hang out with him. NT by Moog 10/30/2008, 1:27pm PDT NEW
                        How can you hang out with people you're not even real you dont have hands NT by The Breadman 03/09/2009, 4:47pm PDT NEW
                            Stop, you'll make him cry. :( by laudablepuss 03/09/2009, 4:51pm PDT NEW
                                He has very sensitive feelings (because he is such a nice wonderful person/cow). NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/09/2009, 5:00pm PDT NEW
                                    Also because I was not circumcised by Moog 03/09/2009, 6:53pm PDT NEW
                                        Not circumsized much like myself (mary sue mary sue mary sue mary sue). by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/09/2009, 7:23pm PDT NEW
            My psychiatrist makes me buy self-help books all the time, with my own money! by Jerry Whorebach 10/30/2008, 9:56pm PDT NEW
            Re: You guys are assholes. by The Breadman 03/09/2009, 4:50pm PDT NEW
    Re: I have homework! by FABIO 10/28/2008, 3:01pm PDT NEW
        You're being glib. Don't be glib, FABIO. NT by Tom Cruise 10/28/2008, 6:26pm PDT NEW
    Is this like dancing at work? :( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 10/28/2008, 3:50pm PDT NEW
        Re: Is this like dancing at work? :( by Rafiki 10/29/2008, 11:48am PDT NEW
            HORRIBLE :( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 10/29/2008, 11:57am PDT NEW
            Yes yes y'all, we don't stop, get creative y'all, rock on! by Fussbett 10/29/2008, 1:40pm PDT NEW
                This is a good spot to re-archive infogrames.mp3 by Fussbett 10/29/2008, 1:42pm PDT NEW
                Honourable mention: Police rap by Fussbett 12/14/2008, 2:50pm PST NEW
                The company I work for now is so awesome, our corporate videos are good. by Fullofkittens 12/14/2008, 3:48pm PST NEW
                    So your music is actually a job. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 12/14/2008, 4:19pm PST NEW
                        No. NT by Fullofkittens 12/19/2008, 1:04pm PST NEW
                Re: Yes yes y'all, we don't stop, get creative y'all, rock on! by E. L. Koba 03/09/2009, 3:59pm PDT NEW
                The Gazprom Song by E. L. Koba 06/19/2009, 3:54pm PDT NEW
                    The chorus of the biggest Russian corporation song is all about drinking. Parod NT by Fussbett 06/19/2009, 4:14pm PDT NEW
                    I hope they do a new song for the joint venture with Nigeria's NNPC by Fussbett 07/02/2009, 10:25am PDT NEW
                Southern Food Brokerage by "The Superbroker Shuffle" 05/03/2012, 3:53pm PDT NEW
                Microsoft Developer Conference 2012 by E. L. Koba 06/10/2012, 12:15pm PDT NEW
                Re: Yes yes y'all, we don't stop, get creative y'all, rock on! by Last 09/07/2012, 2:33pm PDT NEW
                Oh I meant to add this one, too. by Last 09/07/2012, 2:36pm PDT NEW
                Bain & Company by Fussbett 09/27/2012, 9:30am PDT NEW
                Blackberry (AIM LOG FATE) by Fussbett 09/27/2012, 9:54am PDT NEW
                    Guy on AIM mocks RIM by Fussbett Returns 09/28/2012, 1:48pm PDT NEW
                        Haha just saw this. by FSBT 01/31/2013, 11:44pm PST NEW
                Microsoft Sweden by E. L. Koba 04/25/2021, 1:31pm PDT NEW
            Oh hey it's the Anti-Life Equation how nice by Entropy Stew 11/01/2008, 1:19pm PDT NEW
            Re: Is this like dancing at work? :( by Last 10/24/2012, 11:10am PDT NEW
    For the second year in a row, I have not filled out my CORPORATE_ACRONYM survey by Entropy Stew 10/28/2008, 11:53pm PDT NEW
    My job wants me to read books about how to do my job better. :( by Fullofkittens 11/01/2008, 10:35am PDT NEW
    OH MAN I READ MY OTHER BOOK A FEW WEEKS BACK by Rafiki 12/19/2008, 12:08pm PST NEW
    Guess who's got two thumbs, a noose, a stool and is running the book club at his by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/28/2015, 3:10pm PDT NEW
        Re: Guess who's got two thumbs, a noose, a stool and is running the book club at by Chillum 04/28/2015, 4:21pm PDT NEW
            This I am going to read for pleasure. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 05/09/2015, 10:40pm PDT NEW
        Is this for coders, non-coders, or a mix? by Fullofkittens 04/28/2015, 5:58pm PDT NEW
        The Art of Computer Programming. The 120 Days of Sodom by Rafiki 04/28/2015, 9:15pm PDT NEW
        Managing Humans? by The Happiness Engine 05/03/2015, 5:16pm PDT NEW
            I love rands by HUGALUGHAGLUGH 05/04/2015, 8:22pm PDT NEW
            I'm not ready to believe that's the JerkCity guy yet. That site is incredible. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 05/09/2015, 10:39pm PDT NEW
                JERKCITY is a collaborative effort by HANFORD in Stall #3 05/09/2015, 11:40pm PDT NEW
        Re: Guess who's got two thumbs, a noose, a stool and is running the book club at by Mr. Kool 05/04/2015, 8:32pm PDT NEW
 
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