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by Quétinbec 10/25/2008, 3:18am PDT |
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I worked for three months as a bouncer while at uni. I'm tall, but I don't sound or move very threateningly, so to make myself more intimidating, I grew a beard and long hair. I quit after I was transferred from clubs to a late night convenience store where drunk people went to buy pies. For the first (and last) week at the convenience store, whenever shit went down, I hid in the milk aisle and pretended to be too tired/lazy to notice it until after the guy on the door (who enjoyed being a big tough man) came and told everyone to calm down and threw people out, and even then I'd kind of loom in with my arms crossed and pretend to wonder what was going on. We didn't even have proper uniforms. We were just told to wear black. If we weren't standing in the same spot like idiots people would think we were some weird metal guy (which I would sometimes try to pretend).
I quit after an incident where a group of Polynesians ripped open a 10kg bag of rice and started throwing it at a couple who were making out in the queue. I was right there when this happened and the girl went crazy screaming so unfortunately I couldn't pretend I was unaware as per usual. The boyfriend stood there like a bit of a pussy and the Polys laughed and kept throwing and the whole queue could see this shit and see me seeing this shit. I walked up to the Polys and said, like I didn't give a shit one way or the other (so I didn't get my ass kicked) "Guys, don't do that.". They ignored me and emptied the bag. When the guy on the door finally came and saw the mess, he told them all to get out, even the couple who were just kissing. It was lucky he did this too because it made the Polys laugh and leave without any difficulty. The kissing couple appealed to me to tell the guy on the door that they were innocent and I told him they were OK, but he insisted they leave, and it wasn't until the people in the queue started speaking up for them that he let them stay, so I felt pretty useless and I quit the next day.
Anyway, the point of this is that unfortunately my passport was up for renewal sometime during this period but I decided against cleaning myself up for the shoot, and consequently, I look like a terrorist in it and have been taken into the back rooms and treated like shit in pretty much every country I've visited. This treatment has intensified my hatred of beards and it makes me furious that the most important photo of me in my life, my passport photo valid until the end of my youth, is a picture of me with a beard - a beard I only wore for 6 months!
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I just got my passport. Going to visit the UK. Anything I should know? by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/24/2008, 8:09pm PDT 
Irn-Bru is pronounced "iron brew" NT by Entropy Stew 10/24/2008, 8:35pm PDT
Do not drive in european cities. by motherfuckerfoodeater 10/24/2008, 8:59pm PDT
Seconded by Fussbett 10/24/2008, 9:53pm PDT
Re: I just got my passport. Going to visit the UK. Anything I should know? by Quétinbec 10/24/2008, 11:02pm PDT
Right on. Thanks, bro. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/24/2008, 11:16pm PDT
I actually did want to write more by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/25/2008, 3:08am PDT
Re: I actually did want to write more by motherfuckerfoodeater 10/25/2008, 11:06am PDT
Re: I actually did want to write more by Quétinbec 10/25/2008, 7:40pm PDT
Re: Colorado by Jerry Whorebach 11/13/2008, 5:07pm PST
Enjoy your South Park picket, Marilyn Manson is from Ohio, South Park is based i NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 11/13/2008, 5:15pm PST
Boy I wish I knew how this sentence would have ended! by Jerry Whorebach 11/13/2008, 5:36pm PST
South Park is based in Colorado (it's supposedly near Denver). NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 11/13/2008, 5:39pm PST
Re: South Park is based in Colorado (it's supposedly near Denver). by laudablepuss 11/13/2008, 7:56pm PST
Mile High Comics: a very good store. NT by laudablepuss 11/13/2008, 7:55pm PST
Re: I actually did want to write more by Quétinbec 10/25/2008, 7:34pm PDT
Re: I actually did want to write more by Batren 10/27/2008, 12:27am PDT
Is punching kitty sko jays lingo? by Zsenitan has money instead of rage 10/25/2008, 1:58am PDT
Yeah, pretty much. We haven't had much to discuss since Joe touched em all NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/25/2008, 2:41am PDT
Haha, a pic of my favourite Blue Jay ever, Tom Henke. by Fussbett 10/25/2008, 2:55am PDT
This was the baddest motherfucker alive in 1991 and 1992. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/25/2008, 11:38pm PDT
I love that show! PAAARADISE!!! *chicken wings* NT by Eurotrash 10/25/2008, 3:16am PDT
Anything to declare? NT by Yeah. Don't go to England. 10/25/2008, 2:32am PDT
Speaking of passports and retarded pictures... by Quétinbec 10/25/2008, 3:18am PDT
Zach Galifinakis. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 10/25/2008, 4:09am PDT
your face looks fat quentin!! NT by YOU LOOK CHUBBY 10/25/2008, 4:14pm PDT
your face looks fat quentin!!! NT by YOU LOOK CHUBBY 10/25/2008, 4:15pm PDT
Yeah, that was during my weight lifting, protein drinking phase. by Quétinbec 10/25/2008, 7:43pm PDT
I respect the man in this photo more, right away. A good beard = fear. NT by Fussbett 10/25/2008, 4:36pm PDT
A bouncer's hair probably shouldn't be long enough to provide a handhold. NT by Ask Mr. T 10/25/2008, 6:30pm PDT
This bouncer had no plans to get anywhere near someone's hand. NT by Fussbett 10/26/2008, 2:23am PDT
Unless he had paid that hand to deliver some sort of tender carress. by motherfuckerfoodeater 10/26/2008, 2:30am PDT
Remind the locals that you don't put up with "this bullshit" in America by Rafiki 10/25/2008, 11:43am PDT
Visit Glasgow. It can be slightly terrifying, but worth it. by mark 10/25/2008, 4:45pm PDT
FYI Edinburgh is pronounced "Edenberg," like the popular Jewish surname. NT by Jerry Whorebach 10/25/2008, 6:42pm PDT
What's terrifying about Glasgow? I understand the monster is in Loch Ness NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/26/2008, 12:34am PDT
A "Glasgow kiss" is a headbutt. Imagine what a "Glasgow headbutt" is! NT by Fussbett 10/26/2008, 2:21am PDT
car bomb mounted on the visor NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 10/26/2008, 2:44am PDT
The monster fled because it was afraid of being stabbed. by mark 10/26/2008, 11:38am PDT
Also, wasn't kidding: chicks and Jon Blow do dig Arkanoid (attached) by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/26/2008, 12:37am PDT
That's a nice picture of BDR behind your dartboard. NT by Jerry Whorebach 10/26/2008, 1:37am PDT
Re: That's a nice picture of BDR behind your dartboard. by arkanoid 10/26/2008, 1:58am PDT
That doesn't work on the RSS need logins fix now what kind of hellholl are we ru NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 10/26/2008, 4:40am PDT
I think we've found our new about page! NT by Entropy Stew 10/26/2008, 6:25pm PDT
this game is too hard NT by mark 10/26/2008, 10:51pm PDT
The hot tub's too hot. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 10/27/2008, 3:38am PDT
Bringing back the Galifianakis comment! nice. NT by I need clarification 10/27/2008, 4:51pm PDT
Yeah like you know who that is. 8( NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 10/27/2008, 5:19pm PDT
Uh oh someone got a reference abort abort abort NT by I need clarification 10/28/2008, 1:54pm PDT
It's time to reach for........ THE LOUUUUUUUUD HANDLE NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 10/28/2008, 3:51pm PDT
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