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| Wild Hogs: America's gayest movie by I need clarification 05/31/2008, 1:47pm PDT | ||||
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| John Travolta is now old enough to say, "I don't give a fuck what you think, non-Operating Thetans, I'm gay and I don't care who knows," and so he did, by making Wild Hogs.
The movie is about four guys who hop on their cycles for a road trip to discover (they declare, at alternating time): America, themselves, their freedom, their youth, true love, adventure, and get how to get away from their annoying l(w)ives. Once they actually hit the road, however, it becomes clear all anyone involved in making this movie is interested in is the sad spectacle of an old queen still wearing the gay uniform of his 1970s youth. Let us count the ways: 1. Their first night on the road, they burn down one of their tents and end up sharing sleeping bags. Waking up in the morning, it's all mumbled dialog about how their butts are sore from riding the hog all day and having hot throbbing things on their ass, etc., all overheard by a smirking motorcycle cop who draws himself up and tells them... he's jealous. He wants in on the four(five)some action. 2. The next day they go for a dip in a little pond they find, then dare each other to take off their shorts and throw them to shore. Sure enough, a group of young boys show up and jump in with them, only to flee screaming when their dad swims underwater and bumps into Travolta's penis. Before the Hogs can leave the water, the same motorcycle cop shows up, naked, and jumps in the pond, too. 3. Later, they have a run-in with a bunch of actual motorcycle gang guys, one of whom is a tall, bald (!) flunky who muses about: raping the Hogs, putting their balls in his mouth, and drinking their piss. 4. They end up in this small southwestern town called Madrio or Madrid or something equally ironic for a town with no Latinos in it just in time for their annual chili cookoff, entertainment provided by a prancing, mincing faggot in a cowboy outfit singing things like "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me." I'd say the above was all played for comedy, but drinking piss? Putting balls in mouths? It's kind of like reading a bunch of BDR posts, where he's always "joking" about how gay he is (this has to be one of his favorite movies, I bet he watched it with his dad). Besides, the funniest part of the movie is not gay at all, which is when William Macy is warned that the hot chili is really hot and he eats it and his face turns red because it's hot. That one always gets me. |
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Wild Hogs: America's gayest movie by 05/31/2008, 1:47pm PDT  |
