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by Jerry Whorebach 09/20/2007, 2:52pm PDT |
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I got to thinking about this when I was playing Condemned and forgot I was EVEN supposed to be a cop. If you replaced the rebar graphic in that game with a sword graphic and the magic crime-solving machine hotspots with magic spell hotspots, it could have been about ANYTHING.
Anyway, for those unfamiliar with the property, TJ Hooker was that rarest of all TV law enforcement officers: a beat cop. So instead of kicking in doors and roughing up punks maybe once an episode (if you're lucky) like TV forensic scientists or TV criminal profilers, he pretty much did that all the time. A typical case for Hooker would start with a radio call ("4-ADAM-30, we have a report of shots fired...") and, after a scene of TJ spinning his steering wheel like Vanna White ON METH intercut with footage of police cars racing around LA, would proceed to a shootout with a suspect holed up in some convenience store. Then the suspect would escape (shaking a reasonable facsimile of Shatner off the hood of his car) and it'd be time to gather evidence, interview suspects, follow procedure etc. until TJ broke the case wide open, at which point he'd race to the suspects apartment and get there just in time to see the bitch flee down a fire escape. Then we'd get the best part of the whole episode, a foot chase (composed of about seventeen different scenes so Shatner wouldn't have a heart attack) culminating in TJ tackling the perp and beating the shit out of him. After that TJ would return the lady's baby or whatever and then grab the back of her head and jam his tongue so far down her throat she'd have to call the fire department to get it out (you could tell the actress didn't like it but her CHARACTER did). I'm sorry but if you can't see the totally sweet game in that you're dumber than I thought. |
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Why are there no video games based on TJ Hooker? by Jerry Whorebach 09/20/2007, 2:52pm PDT 
My Hooker anecdote <-- not as good as a New Zealand story. by Fussbett 09/20/2007, 3:18pm PDT
We'll expect more from you when you get back from Thailand. by Quentin Beck 09/20/2007, 6:11pm PDT
Re: We'll expect more from you when you get back from Thailand. by Zseni 09/20/2007, 9:13pm PDT
But... But... Thailand is the "land of smiles"! :( by Fussbett 09/20/2007, 9:45pm PDT
My sex worker travel story by Fussbett 10/04/2007, 10:32am PDT
You're Kid Rock and you're the real mccoy. NT by actual non-newb Kinsey Scale 10/04/2007, 11:51am PDT
I'll have my girlfriend inspect his photo. NT by Quentin Beck 10/04/2007, 7:48pm PDT
enjoy your faggot-like dancing, ALONE NT by diet Coke/Grumah forever 10/04/2007, 9:03pm PDT
If QB had the chance, he'd ask the world to dance. NT by Fullofkittens 10/06/2007, 8:30am PDT
with the record selection and the mirrors reflection NT by diet Coke/Grumah forever 10/06/2007, 10:31am PDT
I forgot. We'll never know precisely Fussbett's secret destination. by Quentin Beck 10/07/2007, 5:46pm PDT
I'll get around to a photo thread eventually. NT by Fussbett 10/07/2007, 10:32pm PDT
Clint Eastwood would kill Shatner 100 times out of 100 NT by Grumah 09/21/2007, 7:29am PDT
Maybe at acting, directing, or pretty much anything intellectual or athletic. by Jerry Whorebach 09/21/2007, 8:26am PDT
Which is why TJ Hooker was obsolete before Star Trek TOS NT by Grumah 09/21/2007, 8:48am PDT
Star Trek: The Other Shit. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/21/2007, 1:19pm PDT
:( :( :( :( :( NT by laudablepuss 09/21/2007, 1:38pm PDT
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