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Re: 20 difficult games by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/17/2007, 2:10pm PDT
Bananadine wrote:

That sounds interesting. I should mention that I never actually played Defender in its original form--I had the 2600 version but who cares about that. I guess I can try it on MAME? I never really got into that MAME business (I should though, it's clearly an awesome thing to do).


I don't mean to down the 2600. We all had it and enjoyed it, the programmers just had to make a lot of hard decisions when they tried to port arcade games to it. In Defender, your ship disappears when you shoot, thus changing the game from one of relentless difficulty, to one where you can survive for a very long time if you are constantly firing.

Without trying to sound like one of those audiophiles who tell people that records have a gay warmth that comes across even better if you buy the four hundred dollar gold-tipped cables, the arcade version of Defender gave you this feeling of being SPACE COMMANDER by having a joystick allow for movement along the y-axis, with buttons to do simple things like reverse. I would disagree that Defender sucks, but I wouldn't disagree that every version Josh has played, or is likely to play, sucks because the satisfaction of Defender comes from mastering a unique control scheme that is different because it allows for a superior way to control the ship and save the humanoids. Learning how to drive a stick shift is a pain in the ass when you're starting out, and there is a perfectly fine alternative to it, with automatic transmissions. But in the same way that Defender plays better with a joystick and four buttons (or whatever the number is) guys who like what they get from a manual keep picking cars with it.

(And I'm not saying that all arcade control schemes are magically good: Space Invaders has you on a couple buttons for left and right movement, which I think is clunky, Zoo Keeper should have you on a roller instead of a joystick, many cockpit versions of games are silly, etc. But Eugene Jarvis followed up Defender with Robotron and that has a genius control mechanism as well.)


Certainly there are many other ways to write about games that could be valuable, but I think the people attempting it generally do not have the right talents or goals to achieve anything but a funny review or an angry review, of the types we have already seen. Not that there's anything wrong with a funny review, but if its primary value is that it's funny, then why not just write funny articles in general? But then Caltrops is already doing this, to some extent. Megaphone review etc.


I've been looking for reviews that are either funny, or show that the author has really spent a lot of time with the game in question, far beyond the average reviewer for a magazine. Bill Dungsroman used to do that - he spent years with Baldur's Gate and so forth and gave you his opinion on what worked and what didn't from that perspective. I've been playing arcade games and pinball for the last year, which doesn't lend itself to reviewing the latest RTS game or shooter, but I no longer care that much. Many arcade games are coming out on Xbox Live, anyway, and if the review is entertaining then great. Fussbett and Koba's exchange about spinners from a while back was hilarious, so I'm using that for a Discs of Tron thing that will be the next review to go up.


the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!
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20 difficult games by Bananadine 09/12/2007, 6:29am PDT NEW
    Blast CORPSE and Mischief Makers shouldn't even count. :( by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/12/2007, 7:01am PDT NEW
    making difficult games isnt hard NT by dustbin of history 09/12/2007, 3:53pm PDT NEW
        Well, that debate is settled. NT by Meeting adjourned. 09/12/2007, 4:14pm PDT NEW
        Well, might as well dismantle their article piece by piece by dustbin of history 09/12/2007, 6:00pm PDT NEW
            This should be frontpaged (I wrote this, forgot to change my name) NT by Grumah 09/12/2007, 6:25pm PDT NEW
                All your posts are HIPAA violations. NT by Zseni 09/12/2007, 7:27pm PDT NEW
                    hipaa to be squaer NT by Grumah 09/12/2007, 8:07pm PDT NEW
    Re: 20 difficult games by Bananadine 09/16/2007, 10:48am PDT NEW
        Solar Jetman, more like Impossible Bullshitman. by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/16/2007, 11:40am PDT NEW
            ALTHOUGH by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/16/2007, 11:42am PDT NEW
                Re: ALTHOUGH by Bananadine 09/17/2007, 10:52am PDT NEW
                    Re: ALTHOUGH by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/17/2007, 12:10pm PDT NEW
        There are a few old games which undoubtedly stand the test of time by Grumah 09/16/2007, 12:40pm PDT NEW
            Re: There are a few old games which undoubtedly stand the test of time by I need clarification 09/17/2007, 12:51am PDT NEW
        Re: 20 difficult games by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/16/2007, 4:07pm PDT NEW
            I got the idea from that one episode of NewsRadio :( by Jerry Whorebach 09/16/2007, 8:49pm PDT NEW
                Re: I got the idea from that one episode of NewsRadio :( by Mischief Maker 09/16/2007, 8:56pm PDT NEW
            Re: 20 difficult games by Bananadine 09/17/2007, 11:13am PDT NEW
                And don't get me started on how Something Awful rendered Seanbaby obsolete! NT by Mischief Maker 09/17/2007, 11:41am PDT NEW
                Don't you dare make a Caltrops pinball table, motherfucker! by Fussbett 09/17/2007, 11:44am PDT NEW
                    So when is the pinball table coming out? by Confiscatio Secundo 09/17/2007, 11:53am PDT NEW
                        WHEN IT'S DONE (pretty soon (but after a trip I'm taking)) NT by Fussbett 09/17/2007, 12:19pm PDT NEW
                Re: 20 difficult games by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/17/2007, 2:10pm PDT NEW
    Any article on difficult games that doesn't mention Battletoads is an autofail by FABIO 09/16/2007, 5:25pm PDT NEW
        Re: Any article on difficult games that doesn't mention Battletoads is an autofa by motherfuckerfoodeater 09/16/2007, 6:49pm PDT NEW
            Re: Any article on difficult games that doesn't mention Battletoads is an autofa by Grumah 09/16/2007, 8:35pm PDT NEW
            Or under 30 years old. It can also make you under 30 years old. by Lizard_King 09/20/2007, 7:55am PDT NEW
                So....... can it also make me under 30 years old? NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/20/2007, 8:55am PDT NEW
                    You're older than 30 years? by Lizard_King 09/20/2007, 11:46am PDT NEW
                        Your transformation into jeep is complete. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/20/2007, 11:55am PDT NEW
                            Re: Your transformation into jeep is complete. by motherfuckerfoodeater 09/20/2007, 1:00pm PDT NEW
                            Dodging the question, tough guy? NT by Lizard_King 09/20/2007, 1:25pm PDT NEW
                                Yes, yes and yes, in that order. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/20/2007, 2:38pm PDT NEW
                                    Also next Tuesday for one, axis of insufferable faggots, ruuuu, etc. NT by Jhoh Clbbl O_____O 09/20/2007, 2:39pm PDT NEW
                Re: Or under 30 years old. It can also make you under 30 years old. by motherfuckerfoodeater 09/20/2007, 1:18pm PDT NEW
                    OK. by Lizard_King 09/20/2007, 1:24pm PDT NEW
                        Re: OK. by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/20/2007, 2:11pm PDT NEW
                Re: Or under 30 years old. It can also make you under 30 years old. by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/20/2007, 1:49pm PDT NEW
 
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