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| KITTY! by Zseni 08/28/2007, 10:51am PDT | ||||
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| I LIKE YOUR SOFT-LOOKING KITTY!
Zseni's Tetris Revenge story: everyone in the family played video games. We had computers my whole life and mom liked girl games (puzzles, rpgs, King's Quest) and dad liked chess programs, which he played incessantly, and it would get him fired from more than a few jobs too. Mom and Bro used to play Tetris - right when it first came out for PC, like what the fuck was that, 88? I was cool, man, back in the day, so it was only a source of mild frustration that I couldn't crack the Mom/Bro dominated top ten. Then one day I got 6th! Out of the blue, motherfucker! I was so happy about it, I think we even went out to dinner that night to celebrate my intiation into the cult of the high score board. The next day was a Saturday. Bro methodically played Tetris, starting before anyone else even woke up, for about 5 straight hours, until he had wiped my lowly single high score off the board. ~~~~~~TETRIS TOP TEN:~~~~~~ 1. MOM................BEASTLY POINTS 2. BRO................BEASTLY POINTS 3. MOM................BEASTLY POINTS 4. MOM................BEASTLY POINTS 5. MOM................BEASTLY POINTS 6. BRO................BEASTLY POINTS 7. BRO................BEASTLY POINTS 8. BRO................BEASTLY POINTS 9. BRO................BEASTLY POINTS 10. BRO................BEASTLY POINTS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Motherfucker! I fuckin lost it! He was still young enough that I could beat the shit out of him (this would change rapidly as soon as he hit puberty) so I beat the shit out of him, but he just took it with a fat smirk all over his fucker face. I could NOT BE STOPPED after that. I turned into Zseni instantly at that moment. First, I formally demanded the Tetris-playing computer as my exclusive province for the rest of the day. Mom and Dad piddled around attempting to restore parental dignity before deciding that they had all kinds of shit they had to do besides play video games or beat down their surprise martinet of a daughter. Second, I locked my brother in his room by picking him up, throwing him in there, and jamming all kinds of shit into the bottom crack (the door opened inward. Architecture itself went contrary to my plots.) Bro, giggling, waited until I was well into the game to make his escape. Third, I poured myself a giant cup of Gatorade and perched on the computer chair and started Tetris. TO BATTLE! By the way I sucked at Tetris at the time. Please imagine a montage sequence with Glenn Frey's "You Belong To The City" playing in the background because it took many many hours for me to overcome my basic level of suck and start accomplishing anything, and it was many more hours after that before I got my number six spot back. First Mom, then Dad, mentioned casually that it was, you know, bedtime, but my valkyrie-white halo of justice could not be penetrated with their puny thrusts of authority. "I'll go to bed right after this game." I don't mean to imply that my parents were insufficiently dominating. They totally did dominate the shit out of me generally and I still live in fear of both of them. But I was untouchable on this occasion. I did go to bed right after this game, but by this game I meant not the particular round of Tetris that I was playing, but the game of revenge. Sunday morning, 2am: ~~~~~~TETRIS TOP TEN:~~~~~~ 1. ZNI................UNHOLY POINTS 2. ZNI................BEASTLY POINTS 3. ZNI................BEASTLY POINTS 4. ZNI................BEASTLY POINTS 5. ZNI................BEASTLY POINTS 6. ZNI................BEASTLY POINTS 7. ZNI................BEASTLY POINTS 8. ZNI................BEASTLY POINTS 9. ZNI................BEASTLY POINTS 10. ZNI................BEASTLY POINTS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I would never decisively beat my brother at any non-puzzle game, ever, but nobody else in the house ever got a top ten score in Tetris again. And I stayed Zseni. |
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