Forum Overview :: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
 
Once again, Wired blows the lid off the seamy underbelly of game devel by I need clarification 03/30/2007, 7:27pm PDT
Wired really hates anyone who has a good time. Whether it's Euro-trash speeding down the PCH (and into telephone poles) in their Ferrari Enzos, or 20-year old kids laughing it up in New York, clearly they're all going to have to pay, and pay dearly, sometime.

Wired wrote:

As the success of San Andreas climaxed, so did the obsession with image control at the Rockstar loft. A former employee describes nights when top executives would sit at their computers, anxiously waiting for the reviews of their newest games to be posted online. An even slightly negative write-up would ignite “a shitstorm of … yelling and screaming.” The editor of one major videogame magazine describes the relationship with Rockstar as “a constant fight” because the company would jockey for sympathetic reviewers.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am sickened, SICKENED at the thought of the valiant and uncorruptible gaming press being assaulted like this. Clearly the 21st century will be remembered as the moment when the idea of a free press was killed by an unrelentingly violent onslaught of whining by game devels. We're only better for it as we can bear witness to it. Future generations will look back at us and shake their heads, slowly. "This is why we have such shitty games, now," they'll say. "Those fuckers really fucked things up."

Wired wrote:

With GTA fever riding high, the antics of some of its top brass were overlooked by the gaming press and the public.

We just didn't even care. We were having so much fun playing GTA, we couldn't be bothered wondering who was cleaning the snow out of Sam Houser's satellite dish, or which secretary was a useless cunt and which one was a stupid bitch. It was like the party was never going to end and the piper would never have to be paid. But I think we all secretly knew how this E! Hollywood True Story would end. Let's just summarize by using the leadoff sentences from the final few paragraphs:

Wired wrote:

It’s August 25, 2006, seven weeks before the release of Rockstar’s latest game, Bully, and there’s a crowd outside the company’s doors. “This game is bananas! B-a-n-a-n-a-s!” they chant.

Those chickens, Rock Star? They're coming home. Coming home... TO ROOST.

Wired wrote:

Bully turned out to be brilliant.

*SPUTTER* WHAT WAIT WHAT?!

Wired wrote:

Still, two months before Bully’s release, attorney Jack Thompson, a vocal opponent of violent videogames, filed a petition to prevent Wal-Mart and other major retailers from selling it on grounds that the game qualified as a public nuisance.

HA! You just don't fuck around like this in America, Rock Star. That shit might fly in Jew York, but not in AMERICA.

Wired wrote:

His case was swatted down by Miami-Dade County circuit court judge Ronald Friedman. “There’s a lot of violence,” Friedman conceded, but “less than we see on television every night.”

Oh, you motherfucking, elitist judicial activist. WHO ARE YOU to tell me what I see on television? Until they start making games about buying diamonoid-encrusted emeraldine rings from Joan Rivers, I'll thank you not to draw too many parallels OR to shove your Bully (heh) pulpit down my throat.

Wired wrote:

Even though major retailers ultimately carried the game, sales of Bully fell flat. The year before, Rockstar’s adaptation of the 1979 film The Warriors met a similar fate. And now, even the reliable GTA cash cow is ailing. GTA: Vice City Stories, a spinoff for the Sony PSP handheld released in October and ported to PS2 in March, is the worst-selling game in the history of the franchise.

HA! You hear me, Rockstar? HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Wired wrote:

Rockstar Games still has a chance to press the Reset button. On October 16, the company will release the hotly anticipated Grand Theft Auto IV, created for the latest generation of game consoles. If it’s as successful as San Andreas, it could help pay all the fines, penalties, and settlements of outstanding cases against Rockstar and Take-Two.

Psh, what are the chances of THAT happening? Let's be honest, here. No one's going to buy that shit. We've seen the light. They're anxious about reviews. They yell at their secretaries. Their parent company has had some financial malfeasance. Do we need to smashed over the head? Of course not. We know what's going on there now, and the GAMERS will NOT support this kind of nonsense.

So, how does it feel now, Rockstar? I'm guessing that auto theft...*sunglasses*...ain't quite so grand. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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GTA4 trailer. by Jhoh Cable o_O 03/29/2007, 5:18pm PDT NEW
    Well Crackdown sure looks pathetic now. by Jerry Whorebach 03/29/2007, 5:36pm PDT NEW
    A balding Russian people smuggler!? The guy looks like shit. NT by Quentin Beck 03/29/2007, 5:58pm PDT NEW
        You can probably customize his baldspot by Entropy Stew 03/29/2007, 6:17pm PDT NEW
    Wired recaps the history of Rockstar by Fussbett 03/29/2007, 9:01pm PDT NEW
        So, pretty much everyone involved in game-making by Souffle of Pain 03/29/2007, 9:06pm PDT NEW
        Re: Wired recaps the history of Rockstar by Quentin Beck 03/29/2007, 11:30pm PDT NEW
        Once again, Wired blows the lid off the seamy underbelly of game devel by I need clarification 03/30/2007, 7:27pm PDT NEW
            Re: Once again, Wired blows the lid off the seamy underbelly of game devel by FABIO 03/30/2007, 11:36pm PDT NEW
    Re: GTA4 trailer. by motherfuckerfoodeater 03/30/2007, 10:10am PDT NEW
 
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