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| World of Warcraft: Burning Crusade (draft 1) by Jhoh Cable o_O 03/09/2007, 2:01pm PST | ||||
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| World of Warcraft: Burning Crusade
This game might as well marry you, BECAUSE IT'LL DRAIN THE LIFE RIGHT OUT OF YOU 8) The expansion for World of Warcraft adds basically a new smaller planet to have adventures on, along with raising the level cap from 60 to 70, and adds new skills and dungeons and talent bloo bloos and shit. And new bugs, balance issues, and angry angry players. Until Left 4 Dead or the Warhammer 40,000 MMO comes out, WOW will continue to be the best multiplayer coop game available. That would be kind of sad, but the expansion actually does add good positive things to it besides more "gather 20 really rare random drop items off of dead enemies" fetch quests. Although there is still plenty of that, it's an MMO after all. Fetch quests are like the crate of MMOs. It's like the fetch quest designer shows up at work in his stained Trigun shirt, sits down at his little station there, sharpens a pencil, then throws up his hands and says Well, I can't think of anything!" And then you're killing 10 guys one at a time to get a single quest item to drop, and then keep doing it for 9 more. And the game will still make a fag of you just for playing it (hence our guild name, Team Snowglobe). However, there are things that are actually original in this new expansion, along with many fixes for the old game that were long overdue. Good Things (WHERE HAVE THEY GONE DOO DOO DOODLDOO): Where the previous World of Warcraft left off with just a bunch of gay raid instances being the only way to get cool stuff or even do anything at all period, the expansion not only adds new shit to do in the new planet of Outland (HOW MANY PEOPLE RACKED THEIR BRAIN TO COME UP WITH THAT AMAZING "LORE" NAME?) but basically as soon as you go through the Dark Portal (located in the previously worthless country of Blasted Lands) and go into Hellfire Peninsula, they give you adventures to go on to report to this and this dude and start your run of quests which gives you gear 2 or 3 times better than the shit you're going in with. Some of these rewards are even better than the fuckin shit you'd get from the raids, and the quests aren't even hard and most are better than the actual quest shit they give you at level 55 and up in the normal game. You can go into the portal at level 58 so you don't have to wait for the last 2 gay levels. You even get more experience and sweet sweet monay from the new quests than the ones on the old planet. So after slogging through most of the plain original game, you are almost rewarded when you get to Outland. Players Threatening to Sue Blizzard Entertainment Value: 10/10! The nature of a complex game such as this one can easily lead to many players ranting like an old Lenny Bruce about things that no one cares about (DEATHCOIL IS IMBUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OP NERF NOW NOW NOW I'M CANCELING MY ACCOUNT FOREVER) but the funniest and most pointless one would be right before the expansion came out, and buliz changed the whole honor ranking PVP fight battleground whatevers system so that all the swee rewards for doing battlegrounds were a million times easier to get. There used to be a really bizarre system where you got honor points and then they'd be calculated once a week to decide where your rank meter went, either increasing the meter or promoting you a rank or two, but there was a pointless and weird sliding scale where the more honor and rank and shit you were getting at one time the less it would count for in the next week and so on, and then if you stopped playing the battlegrounds eventually your rank would fall and you could get busted back down to having no rank if you stopped playing entirely. The stupid stupid faggots who quit jobs and divorced people just to get the high warlord/grand marshal rank basically wasted all that time to get gear that now only requires a few weeks of battleground grinding to get. The new honor system just has honor points that you get from killing players and capping flags, and the points stay there, and they don't scale or slide or decay. So I heard from a guildie guild guild person who's in the guild (Team Snowglobe, RETURNING TO ROCK THE HOLY LANDS) that people on the WOW boards were planning to all get together and sue blizzard for RUUUUUUUUUUINING their lives by making the whole PVP rewards system better. Then we laughed about it. The end. :( Things Blizzard Should've Added To the Expansion But Did Not Because They Are Incompetent: 10/10! Out of the things they SHOULD be adding in an expansion pack, instead of retarded-looking new races, would be some kind of in game radio station, hosted by the Huhuran guy and the 50 DKP minus guy. Perhaps with the Cloudsong kid doing traffic and weather together although if you were in traffic you'd already know what the weather is, making it kind of pointless to have the reports combined. Another thing, they should add smaller mounts or some kind of movement speed increase skill for all classes at level 20. Right now, a few classes (shaman, druid, hunter) get a movement increase skill at 20, and the rest have to keep walking hundreds of virtual miles just to get back to the town where they can exit their game. Here's another thing! There are times when you're right in the middle of an area where you're fighting enemies all randomly planted around, like anywhere in the game, and you are fighting and fighting and suddenly the smoke detector goes off or the oven goes off (OR BOTH IN MY HOUSE YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING HA HA no just kidding I don't burn food that's wrong). What does WOW do to help you deal with this? Absolutely nothing. Because they are incompetent. THEY ARE INCOMPETENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a result of age combined with drink. For some reason, the new flying mounts (they're like mounts, but they FLY at the same speed as the old old level 40 mounts, which is kind of gay) are only usable in Outland. Probably because when you take a flight path over a zone border in the old planet, you can see seams and abrupt texture changes, probably because most of the flight paths weren't even added until way later in the game. The flying mount is neat when you want to go over some obstacles in the world or float directly over the roads and land yourself right in the middle of a quest area, but you'll probably still use your lvl 60 fast ground mount because it moves faster. I'm sure blz has a reason for that, but it's probably a gay reason. ==================== blizzard hates horde. Also the druid hotfix vs the broken tomb of lights quest and night elves can be druids. More notes: difference between belfbelf starting areas vs blueberry space octopus people starting areas (one sucks one is good). Complain about shamans a lot, gear problems, totem range, blizzard's incompetence. 5/10. Also note fun adventures in hellfire gradually changing to drudgery in the following countries. Also insanity of final instance attunement/keying and how reading about it on wowwiki marks the true ending of the game. Also: the "broken" drani trainers ha ha ha nice little joke about refusing to fix a class blizzard. I forgot some good examples of blueberry land: the magic floating wings hang glider, the swim speed buff, the epic mount buff. Oh yeah that reminds me to also include that one porn comic where the tauren fucks the night elf bitch to death. |
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