My crazy apartment management wrote:

EMERGENCY FREEZE NOTICE TO ALL RESIDENTS

Severe subfreezing weather is in the forecast. Water pipes in our community may freeze and break unless we ALL act quickly. If any pipes freeze, we may have to cut off water to entire buildings. If there are widespread pipe breakages across the city, it could be days before we can get the pipes repaired and restore access to hot and cold water in your apartment. Please help us avoid these problems!

IMMEDIATE ACTION: Take the following precautions as soon as you read this notice!

1. Leave the heat on 24 hours a day at a temperature setting of no less than 55 degrees. Keep all windows closed. Be sure to leave the cabinet doors under the kitchen and bathroom sinks open to allow heat to get to the plumbing.

2. Immediately do one of the following (whichever is checked) [note: none of these were checked], depending on the severity of the freeze:

[] Keep all Garage Doors closed
[] Keep all cabinet doors open through out the apartment [sic]
[] Allow ALL fauccets (sinks, tubs, showers) in the apartment to drip 24 hours a day at a steady, pencil lead size stream. This includes both cold and hot water. The faucets should be allowed to drip while you are in the apartment as well as while you are out. Please run warm water in all faucets.

3. If your washer/dryer connections are outside on your patio:

* Please keep the doors to the area tightly closed.
* Check the heater and/or heat lamp installed in your outside washer/dryer room to make certain it is functioning properly.

4. Leave all drains open, including lavatories [huh?], sinks, and bathtubs.

5. Notify management IMMEDIATELY if you notice any running water. As authorized in your lease, management may enter your apartment to check for leaks and/or damage.

Additional notes:

-- As everyone in the city allows their faucets to drip, [!] it may be necessary to open your faucets a bit more to maintain the drip or stream of water.
-- Please remember to be careful of ice and snow on steps, sidewalks, and parking areas. Managemetn will make a reasonable effort to apply de-icing materials to common walkways; however, we cannot guarantee that surface areas will be ice free.
-- Move potted or hanging plants indoors.
-- Have you winterized your automobile?

DAMAGE TO YOUR OWN PROPERTY: If the pipes in or around your dwelling should freeze and break, there could be substantial water damage to the apartment, your personal property, and your neighbor's property. You could be liable for such damages if you have negligently failed to take proper precautions. The casualty insurance on the apartment owner's building does not cover the personal belongings of other people within the dwelling. You are encouraged to obtain "Renter's Insurance" to cover unexpected damage to your personal belongs [sic] resulting from fire, water and simillar hazards. The cost of such insurance is nominal in relation to the peace of mind it provides.

Thank you for your prompt and continuous cooperation regarding this matter.

The manangement of Hysterical Bullshit Apartments.