First in the ring with the director - now dubbed 'Raging' Boll - was Mr Richard Kyanka, webmaster of www.Somethingawful.Com.

'You are harbouring a terrorist. You are all guilty,' he said of Boll, to the crowd of about 600. In the audience were actor Vern 'Mini Me' Troyer, and rocker Alice Cooper.

A grim-faced Boll won the fight in a first-round knockout.

Lowtax, sobbing loudly wrote:

1) There was an actual real critic who sparred with Uwe Boll a few nights ago, who was a real amateur boxer. Uwe refused to fight the guy in the ring; obviously he only wanted people with no boxing experience.

Anyway, when Uwe was sparring with the dude, the critic / amateur had to quit sparring because Uwe "was taking it too seriously" and really trying to beat the shit out of the guy. So he just said fuck it and left.

2) Apparently when we were in another room, Uwe declared he was going to beat the crap out of all of us and try to "win by knockout." You know, like kinda the OPPOSITE of "this is all a PR stunt we will have fun my movies don't suck" that he was saying before.

3) Like I mentioned before, Uwe said we would get training, boxing equipment, and lessons beforehand. None of us received any of this, which didn't quite worry us at the time since he kept saying it was just a PR stunt and he wasn't really going to box for real for serious blah blah blah. NEVER trust a German. Three of the guys didn't even have cups to protect their balls; the only reason I had a cup was because my wife bought me one.

4) The dude after me was throwing up and had an EMT by his side for about an hour. He eventually had to have an oxygen mask on. The dude after him was all bloodied up and looked like crap. They too made the mistake of believing Uwe Boll when he said it was just a PR thing, since neither really trained.

Regardless, I don't regret anything and think it was a real learning experience. For example, I learned Uwe Boll is a lying dickhead who makes shitbag films, and he deserves all the shit he gets from folks on the Internet. I'll write an update about all this when I get back, but I'm trying to put the most major things here so I do not forget them.