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| Is Pulse the most ridiculous horror movie ever? by Flavio 08/14/2006, 6:41am PDT | ||||
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| Yes!
Combine the worst aspects of The Grudge and every other Ring knockoff along with every "hacker movie" (start to blinking cursor is 5 seconds) ever made meets that last Michael Keaton movie no one saw. What made Ring decent? Must have been the colored filters, let's ramp that up. Oh, and there were some sped up shots of the sun setting (to show that the characters were running against the clock) so let's throw those in too (for no reason). Sassy black girlfriend telling the heroine she needs to let go of hangups and move on? check Fatter, sassier black woman? check Jap horror continuity check: The ghosts murder people soon after infecting their computer (cell phone? whatever), except when it comes to the three main characters, who are the first people to get infected. Ghosts cannot travel through red tape(???!!!) and "every inch of every crack has to be covered" to keep them out, except for one character who needs to stay alive for a bit, then it's okay to just tape up the window (to foil ghostly terrorism). Ghosts are made of electromagnetic signals and pass through solid matter, except when it comes to said characters walls, or when they need to get slowed down breaking through the heroine's car window, or kicked in the face by the heroine. Moral: The comfort of instant wireless telecommunications allows the effects of terrorism to thrive, and the only way to stop it is to ban cellphones with department of homeland security red tape. |
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Is Pulse the most ridiculous horror movie ever? by 08/14/2006, 6:41am PDT  Re: Is Pulse the most ridiculous horror movie ever? by 08/14/2006, 12:09pm PDT Re: Is Pulse the most ridiculous horror movie ever? by 08/14/2006, 5:54pm PDT Re: Is Pulse the most ridiculous horror movie ever? by 08/16/2006, 1:27am PDT And Cell might be the worst Steven King book ever. NT by 08/16/2006, 8:14am PDT |
